Learn to Hack Her Brain And Make Her Yours
THE FEMALE MIND
CONTROL HANDBOOK
by
Kate Spring is a relationship coach, YouTuber
and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada.
She specializes in helping men from around the
world win the hearts of women by mastering
radical authenticity and female psychology.
Kate’s acclaimed online program The Obsession
Method has sold nearly 100,000 copies and is
widely considered to be among the best and most
comprehensive men’s dating guides on the planet.
Dating & Relationship Coach
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Stop me if you’ve said this one before...
Women just don’t like me.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Every
client I’ve ever had in my work as a love coach
has said some variation of this sentence.
If you feel this way, you may think there’s
nothing you can do. Well I’m here to offer
you hope.
The truth is, inside every guy is the man
women dream about finding. Unlocking this
man takes work but it is within your grasp.
I can already hear the doubt in your mind
creeping in. You’re saying, “people don’t
change. It’s impossible.” and you’re right. Who
you are inside is largely unchangeable. What
you can change is how women see you and
that’s by changing how you see yourself.
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Let’s talk about money for a second. Money
is just a number in your bank account but
having enough of it completely transforms
how you act and even appear to those around
you, especially women. Most people think
women are drawn to wealthy men because
they want a man who can provide for them,
and this is true, but it goes way beyond just
that. Once you surpass a certain income,
greater wealth will make very little difference
in her day-to-day life, and yet, women are
certainly more attracted to Elon Musk than
they are to your average engineer, even if they
don’t care about flying private.
This is because it’s not really about the money.
It’s about the effect having money has on how
you see yourself. That’s what attracts women
to powerful, rich men. And the better news is,
there’s a way you can get this same confidence
even if you don’t have a dollar to your name.
THE PROSPERITY PRINCIPLE
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Imagine two men. The first knows how to win
the hearts of women without even trying. He
always has a date on a Friday night and his
only problem is that there’s not enough hours
in the day to date every woman he comes
across. The second has gone his entire life
without ever getting so much as a first kiss.
Would you believe that these two men look
the exact same, have the same net worth, and
score the same on an IQ test?
SELF PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING
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I’ll go a step further. I can take the second
man and, within two weeks, transform him
into the man that every woman wants to be
with. The change is so powerful that if he
walks into a room, women will literally stop
talking to the first man, mid sentence, and line
up for a chance to speak to the second man.
But most men never achieve their full
potential when it comes to attracting and
seducing beautiful women. Why is this?
Often they take the wrong approach, falling
for cookie-cutter seduction strategies that
present tactics without ever getting to the
root of what brings men and women together.
Others fail simply because they never take
that first step.
I’m happy to report that you don’t have to
suffer the same fate, and that’s because you’re
reading the Female Mind Control Handbook!
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In this short handbook I’ll teach you the
simple methods you need to adopt if you want
to attract and seduce women.
But I’m not going to stop there. I’m going to
do something that no other seduction coach
has done up to this point...I’m going to reveal
the base code that underpins every seduction
and teach you how to make it a concrete
reality in your own life.
Let’s start at the beginning.
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Your first interaction with a woman is the
most important. It can set you up as her true
love or as a horror story she tells whenever
anyone mentions a terrible date. Here’s
the first thing you need to remember when
making your approach that can make or break
this first interaction.
Harness your physicality
Physicality is so important when it comes
to your approach. While it helps to be good
looking and in shape, it really isn’t necessary
to attract a woman. What you need is to make
her aware of your body and your physical
presence in space.
Let’s look at a newly minted phenomenon
that’s a very popular point of discussion
lately: manspreading. For those who don’t
know, manspreading is when men take
THE APPROACH
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up more space than they need as a sort of
subconscious form of dominance.
It’s largely been highlighted as something
rude that men need to avoid if they want
to be seen as respectable. But I take a
different approach. Certainly, if you’re on a
crowded bus and you’re taking up two seats,
manspreading makes you look bad. But
the truth is, there’s a reason this is such a
universal experience: because it works.
If you look at almost any “stereotypical male”
behaviour, closely enough, you’ll find that it has
a link to social dominance and reproductive
success and manspreading is a prime example.
Women want a man who physically takes
charge of the space he’s in because it’s a signal
of dominance--it ties back to their primal
instincts to mate with an alpha male.
Women like men who are physically
large and dominant and you can use this
information no matter what you look like or
how short you are.
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There are several ways you can draw women’s
attention to your body and even appear bigger
and more imposing (and thus more attractive)
in their eyes.
Be physical in the space
Here’s a simple physical trick I notice
particularly common in athletes. I call it “the
lean.” Next time you’re talking to a woman,
simply reach your arm over your head and
grab the door frame.
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It seems silly until you notice it. Then you
realize that almost all sexually successful men
do this almost constantly.
They say you need to make yourself large to
scare off a grizzly, but the same action has the
opposite effect on women. If there was ever any
doubt that women are the true apex predators.
I actually made a full video guide on how you
can leverage your body language to make
you attract women like mosquitos to a light.
If you’re interested in checking out, just click
this video link below.
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Talk with your hands
There’s a reason that magicians always get laid.
Quick and skillful hand movements have been
linked to evolutionary success in humans.
So by keeping your hands active and engaged
in a conversation you not only are more able
to keep her attention, you demonstrate your
biological superiority with just a flick of the
wrist.
Regular exercise
Many people think big muscles and a toned
body are key to seduction. While this is helpful,
it’s not as important as simply keeping active.
“No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter
of physical training…what a disgrace it is for a man to
grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength
of which his body is capable.” -Socrates
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Regular fitness training will activate your
muscles and put you in touch with your body
in a way that women find extremely attractive.
Whether or not there’s a huge difference when
you look in the mirror, there’s a powerful
difference in how you carry your body in
space and it’s that difference that will draw
women to you without them ever knowing.
Now let’s talk about your number one goal in
every interaction with a woman: making that
personal connection.
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The importance of personal connection in
interactions with women was inspired by
Jeremy, an old friend of mine.
Jeremy is the first to admit that he’s a
completely average guy in most ways. He’s
got a receding hairline despite only being
25. He works as a process server. He’s not
particularly intelligent, fit or even especially
extroverted. But despite having little to offer
on paper, he’s constantly surrounded by
friends, admirers and beautiful women.
I always wondered what seemed to draw
people to Jeremy like a magnet.
One day, we were out at lunch and both the
server and the hostess gave him their number,
without him even asking. I was blown away. I
finally asked him, “What’s your secret?”
HOW TO MAKE THE PERSONAL CONNECTION
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Jeremy just pointed to our waitress and said,
“the hostess, she’s from Lake Minnetonka.”
“So what?”
“I spent a summer there growing up. I guess
she thinks we have a lot to talk about.”
“And what about the server?”
He grinned, “She liked that I ordered a diet
Sprite.”
I said, “Jeremy that makes no sense. Talking
about people’s favorite brand of soda or their
hometown is just small talk. It’s what I’ve
always told men to avoid if they want to make
a lasting impression.”
Jeremy just smiled. “It worked on you,” he said.
Then I thought back to the first time we met.
He was a friend of a friend I got to talking to
at a party. We had what had seemed like an
innocuous conversation but, thinking back, it
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was the only part of the party that stood out in
my memory. We talked about bath mats for a
full ten minutes and little did I know, it was a
conversation I would never forget.
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The truth was, though his chit chat had
seemed very standard, Jeremy did something
that very few people do. He had a knack for
ferreting out points of connection in people
he met. Within five minutes of meeting
him, he knew something about you that few
other people knew, even if it was as silly as
diet Sprite. And beyond that, he’d found out
something the two of you have in common.
He achieved this not through some magical
combination of words and phrases. It
was about actively listening and making
connections between your life and his. The
result of this was a surprisingly strong bond
between two people who were barely on a first
name basis. This is what I mean when I say
you need to find a personal connection.
You see, no matter how extroverted and
charming you may be, meeting new people
puts you in a position of social stress. It’s how
we handle that stress that determines our
success or failure.
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It all comes back to fight, flight, or freeze.
Introverted, shy, or socially inept people will
freeze up and struggle to get a word out. Then
they’ll run away at the first sign of trouble.
Extroverts will do the opposite. What we may
process on the surface as charm and wit, are,
in reality, an effort to impress the other person
which is, believe it or not, a fight response. This
is what happens when you meet someone at a
party who stands out as charming, funny and
interesting and yet is gone from our mind as
soon as they’re out of sight.
The truth is, charm and wit are certainly
attractive, but without that personal
connection, our brain recognizes what they
really are: a play for social domination--a
parlor trick.
Jeremy never had this problem. As I said,
Jeremy wasn’t particularly charming. His
talent came from his ability to listen and make
connections. Instead of freezing, fighting, or
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fleeing, Jeremy found another path. He’d ask
innocuous questions and from your answers,
he’d figure out what was important to you and
how you saw yourself, and, most importantly,
what the two of you had in common. In
essence, Jeremy turned the social stress
generated to a common goal.
Since I came to this realization, I’ve studied
Jeremy in social situations and here are some
of the points of connection I’ve seen him find:
Yoyos, not understanding how air conditioning
works, making fun of Scientology, the taste of
ice from plastic ice trays--I could go on.
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Finding common ground
So how can you be like Jeremy? This kind of
communication is an acquired skill that you
need to practice to master but it’s easier than
you think.
Jeremy realized that social success is all about
stickiness. Namely, do people remember you
when you leave a room. Do your conversations
stick in their heads?
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Your goal needs to be finding what the two of
you have in common as soon as possible in a
conversation and repeat it to reinforce it.
It can feel artificial and many people will
realize what you’re doing. But guess what?
That’s totally fine.
Despite what they may say, nearly all people
are driven to make connections any chance
they get.
They’ll appreciate it if you’re willing to make
the effort to make that connection, even if it
feels a bit awkward at first. It’s like icebreaker
games. Sure, they’re extremely embarrassing
and stupid but people use them because
they really do work.
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90% of success is showing up, and getting
to stick around. There are so many ways to
make or break any interaction with a woman,
but more important than making a good
impression, is continuing to be present and
available. If you want to learn how to make
a really powerful first impression that gets a
woman instantly attracted to you, though, just
click this video link below. It’s a great video
guide featuring yours truly!
THE ‘FOOT IN THE DOOR’ PRINCIPLE
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Anyways, you can blow her away with a huge
romantic gesture but if you’re not there for
the follow up, it’s all for nothing. Most often,
seduction is a marathon, not a sprint.
To master The Foot In The Door Principle,
you simply need to roll with the punches,
make it past the awkward moments and avoid
making huge attraction-killing mistakes.
Making small errors and putting your foot
in your mouth isn’t what destroys your
chances with women. It’s how you react that
determines your success. 
“Opened my eyes to my value, and my past mistakes”
“Dating used to feel like banging my head against
a wall. I would get stuck in the same short term
relationships and unable to make a true connection with
the women I really wanted. The Obsession Method was
my way out. Kate opened my eyes to my hidden inner
value that I didn’t even know I had while also showing
me all the mistakes I’d been making in the past. A true
game changer for my sex life.” -Stefan B., Portland OR
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While I don’t typically advise looking to
Hollywood movies for romantic advice, there
is one element of romantic comedies that has
always been spot on: the meet-cute.
A meet-cute is when two characters
who will eventually form a romantic
relationship meet under humorous
or cute circumstances.
Maybe he spills a coffee on her shoes or
she accidentally knocks him down a flight
of stairs--whatever. The specific interaction
doesn’t matter. What matters is that it leads
somewhere.
She doesn’t fall for him because he spills the
coffee; she falls for him because of how he
manages to turn this awkward moment into a
moment of connection. That’s what you need
to do if you want to master the Foot In The
Door Principle.
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I don’t advise trying to manufacture some sort
of elaborate meet-cute or knock her down a
flight of stairs. The truth is, chances are you’re
going to make some sort of mistake when
you first meet a woman, especially if you’re
nervous. You need to be able to laugh it off,
press onward, and use this mistake to your
advantage. If you can show her that being
vulnerable isn’t embarrassing, it will speak
volumes about your value as a man and your
ability to give her exactly what she wants.
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Women are willing to forgive quite a lot of
male behaviour but there are certain actions
that will kill attraction in any woman. These
behaviours are so damning because they
speak to a larger problem with your character
and confidence, and women have an uncanny
ability to recognize these faults.
Women aren’t looking for a reason to turn you
away, but sexual selection is baked into how
we all see the world.
This is the end result of millions of years of
evolution. We can’t stop noticing red flags,
just as we can’t stop our heart from beating
or our stomach from digesting food. It’s an
automatic process.
AVOID THESE ATTRACTION-KILLING MISTAKES
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That’s why you need to be aware of these four
behaviours and tear them out at the root, if you
want to have any chance of attracting women.
1. Bad hygiene
Take care to always look your best. You don’t
need to wear a three-piece suit every day
but you do need to be dressed in a flattering,
comfortable style that makes the most of your
best attributes.
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More important than that is the personal
hygiene side. Make sure that when you leave
the house you are always showered, shaved,
and smelling good.
If this is something you’ve always struggled
with, then this is a huge opportunity. Master
proper hygiene and watch how it completely
transforms how other people see you.
2. Being hesitant
So much of seduction is, for better or worse,
about entitlement. If you see yourself as an
outsider who doesn’t deserve her attention or
attraction, she’ll see you the same way.
Don’t be aggressive but be assertive. Whether or
not you feel confident is irrelevant. Sometimes
it’s okay to “fake it until you make it”.
Most women aren’t going out and looking
for a diamond in the rough to pull out of
obscurity and into their bed. They’re looking
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for socially dominant men who are at, or
above, their level. You need to project this
energy by any means necessary.
As you cultivate this mindset it will become
easier over time. Don’t be surprised if it bleeds
into other areas of your life as well. There are
plenty of men who start out with the goal of
simply getting a girlfriend and end up with a
promotion, the corner office, and the respect
and love of those around them. Don’t hesitate
to take this first step.
There are several body language cues that
you can use to convey the kind of confidence
that make women crave you. Check out my
free guide on how to this right here.
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3. Comparing yourself to others
Teddy Roosevelt once said, “comparison is
the thief of joy.” It can also be the thief of
love. Chances are the women you’re looking
at dating are under no illusions that you’re
the most attractive man that ever lived. What
she finds attractive is that you know your
limitations, accept them, and still manage to
be confident and happy.
The alternative is to compare yourself to
others, find yourself wanting and share this
information for anyone who’s willing to listen.
Instead of focusing on where you lack, focus
on the connection you’re building together.
If you can do that, it won’t matter if you have
a million dollars in the bank or a full head of
hair, because you’ll have her.
4. Putting her above yourself
It’s important to respect women if you want
to get close to them, but it’s even more
important to respect yourself.
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A lack of respect for yourself is evident in
the following behaviours: letting her choose
where and when you go on a date, rearranging
your schedule for her, and changing your
opinions and beliefs to please her.
It’s certainly a fine line you need to find
between respect and subservience. I think
it’s better to be assertive and self assured and
risk coming across as a jerk than it is to bend
too much and risk coming across as meek.
Women will date jerks before they’ll date men
who make them feel pity.
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So up to this point we’ve covered the principles
you need to put into play early on if you want to
maximize your chances with any woman. We’ve
also covered the most common attraction-killing
mistakes you’d need to avoid if you want to
maintain attraction in the short term.
Now we dive into what I call long-term self
projects. These are both elements of yourself
that you need to focus on and accentuate.
SEDUCTION SYNTHESIS: WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT
“I was skeptical, but it just works”
“I’ve never trusted online advice in the past. It always
felt like a one-size fits all approach that didn’t meet my
needs. But Kate’s program truly worked for me. Within
days of beginning to implement her techniques, I got a
girlfriend who I now love. I was skeptical, but it turns out
it just works.” -Cherren B., India
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Essentially it’s not only about being your best
self, it’s about presenting that self to a woman
in a way that will maximize her attraction
towards you.
1. Excel in social situations
This is easier said than done but I’m going
to give you a little life hack that will make it
easy for you to appear confident and suave
in social situations around women. This is a
great first or second date tactic. You’re going
to set yourself up to succeed in a situation.
Surround yourself with friends in a situation
where you feel comfortable. Put your focus on
her so she can tell you care.
She sees this exciting and interesting guy who
is choosing her first before all his friends and
opportunities. This will make her heart go wild.
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2. Harness her attraction
Men often take the lead when it comes to the
sexual side of a relationship because they
think being overly assertive is the way to win
women’s hearts.
The truth is, if you push her beyond her
comfort zone, you’re actually putting her in
the driver’s seat. As soon as she says no to
you, the power balance has shifted in a way
that may be impossible to repair. Because
now she’s acting as a gatekeeper which means
you’re on the outside, looking in.
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Stay out of this minefield. Instead, be the one
in the relationship who is holding back. Don’t
push her for sex too early in the game.
Think of it this way: have you ever heard a
woman complaining about a guy not wanting
to get in her pants? Of course not. Most
women say “men only want one thing”.
The truth is, even though they may not respect
men who hound them for sex, women love to be
desired. It’s an important part of their self image
and how they see themselves in the world. By
flipping the script on this typical dynamic,
you’re taking the power position. It just takes
a little restraint and suddenly you’re the one
calling the shots, not her.
In practice this is a subtle distinction but an
important one. It basically comes down to
“always leave them wanting more.” Wait an
extra date before making a move, always put
her pleasure before your own, and don’t be
desperate to get her clothes off.
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3. Stand out from the crowd
High quality women are overwhelmed by
attention from eligible men who want to win
their hearts. While this seems like a negative,
you can actually use this information to win
her heart.
In fact, the more men who are trying to
pick her up with the same tired lines and
cliched approaches, the more you have an
opportunity to stand out from the crowd. All
it takes is a little introspection and an honest
self assessment.
What I mean is, you need to find what makes
you special.
I don’t mean to sound like Dr. Seuss, but
everyone has something that makes them
special. Those who succeed in life and love
are those who find what makes them special
and harness it.
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For me, it’s about my passion for helping
people find love. For you it might be your
drive to keep going despite adversity, or
maybe it’s how good you look in a sweater.
Trust me that everyone has something that
sets them apart from the crowd. For most it’s
not as quantifiable as, say, being the fastest
person in the world to run a mile. It’s more
often something subtle and subjective like the
way you treat animals or your ability to make
people feel appreciated.
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Once you find your special something, you
need to know how to display it in a way that
will make you seem valuable but not full of
yourself. Don’t just talk her ear off about your
passion.
This is what women mean when they say they
like the “strong, silent type.” They don’t want
to date a mute. What they really want is a man
who is more focused on action than speech. In
other words, show don’t tell.
Unsure what makes you special?
Take a good hard look at yourself. What attracts people to
you. What are you best at? Ask your close friends and family.
It may be embarrassing but you can find out so much more
about yourself by how those around you see you.
The process of finding out what makes you special can be
difficult and even painful but it’s essential to achieving true
confidence and winning the hearts and minds of women.
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4. Vulnerability and value
The truth is, vulnerability is sexy because
it’s a measure of confidence. Think of it in
terms of animals. The alpha male in wolves is
not always the biggest or the strongest wolf,
it’s the wolf that has the courage and killer
instinct required to take down any challenger.
How does this relate? While human social
dominance is no longer tied to winning fights,
it is still based on hierarchy. And you want to
be on top.
The way to the top of that pile can come from
simply being the best, most attractive and
most confident guy in the room, but for many
men, this simply isn’t achievable. These men
need to find a different path: vulnerability.
Think of it this way. Your value in society’s eyes
is in your ability to climb the ladder. To do so,
you have to be willing to take social risks to
improve and thrive. Vulnerability is emblematic
of the willingness to take risks and go for what
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you want. After all, who is the braver man: the
man who wears a full suit of armor or the one
who goes into battle completely naked?
Vulnerability is the willingness to be open
about yourself, your flaws, your fears and your
downsides and be confident that, no matter
how it all turns out, you’re still in control.
There are plenty of ways to show off your
vulnerability. Basically it comes down to
taking social risks and not worrying about the
outcome. Admit your faults. Get in touch with
your emotions. Don’t back down from tough
conversations. Be willing to disagree with her.
Show off your feminine side. Be honest. The
possibilities here are endless.
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5. Listening is so important
The biggest mistake I see so many guys make
is focusing on themselves rather than on her
needs. You can memorize a hundred perfect
pickup lines, have a perfect body and a
million dollars in your bank account but if she
feels, even for a second, like you’re running
game on her, she’s going to immediately lose
interest.
This is what makes real listening the most
important factor when it comes to getting
women.
Luckily, listening comes naturally if you’re
willing to make the effort. It’s not just
about hearing what she’s saying, you need
to actively participate in her side of the
conversation.
To do this, you need to summarize what she’s
saying back to her. It may feel silly at first
but it not only helps you understand and
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remember what she’s saying, it also makes her
feel heard. Women love to talk so if you make
them feel like what they have to say is really
reaching you, they’ll associate this positive
feeling with you.
So focus on getting to know her rather than
trying to get in her pants and pretty soon
you’ll have both.
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Did you know that there’s a secret language
that all women understand without even
knowing it?
In my free video guide, I will explain how you
can exploit this “secret language” to make how
women swoon and chase after you. And this
secret little “mind hack” is super simple to use.
Just click here to watch my free how-to guide
on how to do this.
NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT TAKEAWAY...
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All the best and thanks for reading.
Yours truly,
Kate Spring
“I never thought dating could be like this”
“I used to be the last guy on any girl’s list. Two weeks
of your advice and now they can’t stay away! I had to
turn down two women who I used to think were out of my
league. Thanks so much Kate. I never thought dating
could be like this.” -Gareth P., North Africa