osho
when the shoe fits
talks on the stories of chuang tzu
talks given from 11/10/74 am to 20/10/74 am
english discourse series
10 chapters
year published: 1978
chapter 1 : when the shoe fits
chapter 2 : the tower of the spirit
chapter 3 : flight from the shadow
chapter 4 : fighting cock
chapter 5 : monkey mountain
chapter 6 : symphony for a seabird
chapter 7 : autumn floods
chapter 8 : the turtle
chapter 9 : duke hwan and the wheelright
chapter 10 : man is a born in tao
this book has been produced thanks to the devoted work of people from:
http://oshobg.free.fr - the bulgarian osho site,
http://oshoworld.com,
http://www.sannyas.org,
and thanks to the spirit of osho!
***** chapter 1 :when the shoe fits *****
11 october 1974 am in buddha hall
chu'i the draftsman could draw more perfect circles freehand than with a compass.
his fingers brought forth spontaneous forms from nowhere. his mind was meanwhile free
and without concern with what he was doing.
no application was needed, his mind was perfectly simple and knew no obstacle.
so, when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten, when the belt fits, the belly is forgotten, when
the heart is right, 'for' and 'against' are forgotten.
no drives, no compulsions, no needs, no attractions: then your affairs are under control. you
are a free man.
easy is right. begin right and you are easy. continue easy and you are right. the right way to
go easy is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy.
chuang tzu is one of the rarest of flowerings, rarer even than a buddha or a jesus. because
buddha and jesus emphasise effort and chuang tzu emphasises effortlessness.
much can be done through effort but more can be done through effortlessness. much can be
achieved through will but much more can be achieved through will-lessness. and whatsoever you
achieve through will will always remain a burden to you; it will always be a conflict, an inner
tension, and you can lose it at any moment.it has to be maintained continuously -- and
maintaining it takes energy, maintaining it finally dissipates you.
only that which is attained through effortlessness will never be a burden to you, and only
that which is not a burden can be eternal. only that which is not in any way unnatural can remain
with you forever and forever.
chuang tzu says that the real, the divine, the existential, is to be attained by losing yourself
completely in it. even the effort to attain it becomes a barrier -- then you cannot lose yourself.
even the effort to lose yourself becomes a barrier.
how can you make any effort to lose yourself? all effort is born out of the ego, and through
effort ego is strengthened. ego is the disease. so all effort has to be left completely, nothing is to
be done; one has to lose oneself completely in the existential. one has to become again like a
small child, just born, not knowing what is right, not knowing what is wrong, not knowing any
distinctions. once distinctions enter, once you know this is right and that is wrong, you are
already ill, and you are far away from reality.
a child lives naturally -- he is total. he does not make any effort, because making an effort
means you are fighting with yourself. a part of you is for and a part of you is against -- hence the
effort.
you can achieve much, remember. in this world, particularly, you can achieve much through
effort because effort is aggression, effort is violence, effort is competition. but in the other world
nothing can be achieved through effort, and those who start with effort finally have also to drop
it.
buddha worked for six years, continuously meditating, concentrating -- he became an
ascetic. he did all that can be done by a human being, not a single stone was left unturned -- he
staked his whole being. but it was an effort, the ego was there, and he failed.
nothing fails like the ego in the ultimate; nothing succeeds like the ego in this world.
in the world of matter nothing succeeds like the ego; in the world of consciousness nothing
fails like the ego. the case is just the opposite -- and it has to be so because the dimension is just
the opposite.
buddha failed absolutely. after six years he was completely frustrated, and when i say
completely, i mean completely. not even a single fragment of hope remained, he became
absolutely hopeless. in that hopelessness he dropped all effort. he had already dropped the world,
he had already left his kingdom; all that belonged to this visible world, he had left, renounced.
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now after six years of strenuous effort he left also all that belonged to the other world. he
was in a complete vacuum -- empty. that night he slept a different quality of sleep because there
was no ego; a different quality of silence arose because there was no effort; a different quality of
being happened to him that night because there was no dreaming.
if there is no effort, nothing is incomplete, then there is no need to dream. a dream is always
to complete something: something which has remained incomplete in the day will be completed
in a dream because mind has a tendency to complete everything. if it is not complete then the
mind will always be uneasy. effort is put into many things and if they remain incomplete, a dream
is needed.
when there is desire, there is bound to be dreaming, because desiring is dreaming --
dreaming is just a shadow of desiring.
that night, when there was nothing to be done -- this world was already useless, now the
other world was also useless -- all motivation to move ceased. there was nowhere to go, and there
was no one to go anywhere that night sleep became samadhi, it became satori; it became the
ultimate thing that can happen to a man. buddha flowered that night and in the morning he was
enlightened. he opened his eyes, looked at the last star disappearing in the sky, and everything
was there. it had always been there, but he had wanted it so much he couldn't see it. it had always
been there,. but he had been moving so much in the future with the desire that he could not look
at the here and now.
that night there was no desire, no goal, nowhere to go, and no one to go anywhere -- all
effort ceased. suddenly he became aware of himself, suddenly he became aware of the reality as it
is. chuang tzu says from the very beginning: don't make any effort. and he is right. because you
will never make such a total effort as buddha. you will never be so frustrated that the effort drops
by itself; it will always be incomplete. and your mind will always go on saying: a little more and
something will happen, a step more. the goal is near, why are you getting dejected? just a little
more effort is needed because the goal is coming nearer every day.
because you will never make so absolute an effort you will never be completely hopeless.
and you can continue this half-hearted effort for many lives -- that is what you have been doing in
the past. you are not here for the first time before me. you are not here for the first time making
some effort to realise the true, the real. you have done it many, many times, a million times in the
past -- but you are still hopeful.
chuang tzu says; it is better to drop effort in the beginning. it has to be dropped: either you
drop it in the beginning or you will have to drop it in the end. but the end may not come soon! so
there are two ways: either make a total effort... so total that all hope is shattered and you come to
realise that nothing can be achieved through effort, there is not even a single small fragment
somewhere in the unconscious still lingering and saying: do a little more and this will be
achieved.... either make a total effort, then it drops by itself, or don't make any effort at all. just
understand the whole thing. don't move into it at all. remember one thing... you cannot come out
of it if it is incomplete; once entered, it has to be completed. because the mind has a tendency to
complete everything -- not only the human mind, even the animal mind. if you draw a half circle,
incomplete, and a gorilla comes and sees it, and if some chalk is there, he will immediately
complete it.
your mind as such has a tendency to complete -- anything incomplete gives you tension. if
you wanted to laugh and you could not, there will be tension. if you wanted to cry and could not,
there will be tension. if you wanted to be angry and could not, there will be tension. that's why
you have been ill for so long; everything has been left incomplete!
you have never laughed totally, you have never cried totally, you have never been angry
totally, you have never hated totally, you have never loved totally. nothing has been done totally
-- everything is incomplete. nothing is total. it lingers on, and then there are always many things
on your mind. that is why you are so ill at ease. you can never feel at home.
chuang tzu says: it is better not to start because once you start it has to be completed.
understand, and don't move in a vicious circle. that is why i say that chuang tzu is a rare
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flowering, rarer than a buddha or a jesus. because he achieved simply by understanding. there is
no method, no meditation for chuang tzu. he says: simply understand the 'facticity' of it. you are
born. what effort have you made to be born? you grow. what effort have you made to grow? you
breathe. what effort have you made to breathe? everything moves on its own, so why bother? let
life flow on its own then you will be in a let go. don't struggle and don't try to move upstream,
don't even try to swim, just float with the current and let the current lead you wherever it leads. be
a white cloud moving in the sky -- no goal, going nowhere, just floating. that floating is the
ultimate flowering.
so the first thing to understand about chuang tzu before we enter his sutras, is -- be natural.
everything unnatural has to be avoided. don't do anything that is unnatural. nature is enough --
you cannot improve upon it, but the ego says, no, you can improve upon nature -- that is how all
culture exists.
any effort to improve upon nature is culture, and all culture is like a disease -- the more a
man is cultured the more dangerous he is.
i have heard that a hunter, a european hunter, was lost in a forest in africa. suddenly he
came upon a few huts. he had never heard that a village existed in that thick forest. it was not on
any map. so he approached the chief of the village, and he said: this is a pity that you are lost to
civilisation. the chief said: no, it is not a pity, we are always afraid of being discovered -- once
civilisation comes in we are lost. nature is lost once you make an effort to improve upon it -- that
means you are trying to improve upon god. all religions are trying to do that -- to improve upon
god. chuang tzu is not in favour of that. he says nature is ultimate, and that ultimate nature he
calls tao. tao means that nature is ultimate and cannot be improved. if you try to improve upon it,
you will cripple it -- that is how we cripple every child.
every child is born in tao, then we cripple him with society, civilisation, culture, morality,
religion... we cripple him from every side. then he lives, but he is not alive.
i have heard that a small girl was going to a party, a friend's birthday party. she was very
small, just four years old. she asked her mother: were there such parties and dances when you
were alive?
the more cultured and civilised, the more dead. if you want to see perfectly dead men and
yet still alive go to the monk in the monasteries, go to the priests in the churches, go to the pope
in the vatican. they are not alive, they are so afraid of life, so afraid of nature, that they have
suppressed it from everywhere. they are already in their graves. you can paint the grave, you can
even make a marble grave, very valuable -- but the man inside is dead.
a drunkard was passing through a graveyard and he saw a beautiful grave made of pure
white marble. he looked at the grave, looked at the name on it. the grave was that of the famous
rothschild. he laughed, and said: these rothschilds, they know how to live.
culture kills you, culture is a murderer, culture is a slow poison -- it is a suicide.
chuang tzu and his old master, lao tzu, are against culture. they are for nature, pure nature.
trees are in a better position than you, even birds, fishes in the river, are in a better position
because they are more alive, they dance more to the rhythm of nature. you have completely
forgotten what nature is. you have condemned it to the very root.
and if you want to condemn nature you have to start by condemning sex, because the whole
of nature arises out of it. the whole of nature is an overflowing of sex energy, of love. the birds
sing, the trees flower -- this is all sexual energy, exploding. flowers are sex symbols, the singing
of the birds is sexual, the whole of tao is nothing but sex energy -- the whole of nature propagates
itself, loves itself, moves into deeper ecstasies of love and existence.
if you want to destroy nature condemn sex, condemn love, create moral concepts around
life. those moral concepts, howsoever beautiful they look, will be like marble graves and you will
be there inside them. some-drunkard may think that you know what life is, that you know how to
live, but anyone who is in his state of awareness is in no state even to call you alive. your
morality is a sort of death: before death kills you, the society kills you.
that is why chuang tzu's message is one of the most dangerous, the most revolutionary, the
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most rebellious -- because he says: allow nature! and don't give any goal to nature. who are you
to create goals and purposes? you are just a tiny part, an atomic cell. who are you to force the
whole to move according to you?
this is most dangerous for people who are religious, for people who are moralistic puritans.
this is a most dangerous message. this means break all the barriers, allow nature to erupt --
dangerous it is.
i have heard that a head nurse was introducing a new nurse, who had just come from
college, to the hospital. she was taking her around the hospital to show it to her. she introduced
the various wards: this is a cancer ward, this is a tuberculosis ward, and others and others. then
she came to a big hall, and she said: look, and remember well, this is the most dangerous ward of
all, this is the dangerous ward. the new nurse looked, but she couldn't see what the danger was. so
she asked: what is the matter? why is this the most dangerous ward? even in the cancer ward you
didn't say that it was dangerous. the head nurse laughed and she said: these people are almost
healthy, that's why this is the most dangerous ward. so be alert -- health is always dangerous.
priests are afraid of health because health is immoral in their eyes. you may or may not
have heard of one of the thinkers of this century, a german thinker, very famous in his day --
count keyserling. he was thought to be a great religious philosopher and he wrote in his diary:
health is the most immoral thing. because health is energy, and energy is delight, energy is
enjoyment, energy is love, energy is sex, energy is everything that is natural. destroy the energy,
make it feeble and dim. hence so many fasts -- just to destroy the energy, just to prevent so much
energy from arising that it starts overflowing.
religious people have always thought that health is dangerous. then to be unhealthy
becomes a spiritual goal.
i repeat again, chuang tzu is very rebellious. he says: nature, energy and the ecstasy that
comes by overflowing, and the balance that happens spontaneously, is enough. there is no need
for effort, so much beauty happens all around in nature without any effort: a rose is beautiful
without any effort, a cuckoo goes on singing without any effort.... look at a deer, alive, full of
energy, fast. look at a hare, so alert, so aware, that even a buddha may become jealous.
look at nature everything is so perfect. can you improve upon a rose? can you improve on
nature in any way? only man has gone wrong somewhere. if the rose is beautiful without any
effort on its part, why not man? what is wrong with man? if stars remain beautiful without any
effort, without any of patanjali's yoga sutras, why not man? man is part of nature, just as stars are.
so chuang tzu says: be natural, and you will flower. if this understanding enters you, deeper and
deeper and deeper, then all effort becomes meaningless. then you are not constantly making
arrangements for the future, then you live here and now, then this moment is all, then this
moment is eternity. and buddhahood is already the case, you are already a buddha. the only thing
that is missing is that you have not given it any chance to flower because you are so engaged in
your own projects.
a flower flowers without any effort because the energy is not dissipated in any projects; the
flower is not planning for the future, the flower is here and now. be like a flower, be like a bird,
be like a tree, a river, or the ocean -- but don't be like a man. because man has gone wrong
somewhere.
nature and to be natural -- effortlessly natural, spontaneously natural -- that is the essence of
all the teaching that chuang tzu is going to give to you.
now we will enter his sutra. listen to every word as deeply as possible, because your mind
will create barriers, your mind will not allow you to listen. the mind is society within you. society
is very cunning: it is not only outside you, it has penetrated within you. that is what your mind is,
and that is why all those who know are against the mind and for nature. because mind is an
artificial thing, implanted in you by society. so when you listen to chuang tzu your mind will
create barriers. your mind will not like to listen because what he says is so against the mind. if
you allow it, if you put aside your mind and allow it to penetrate you, the very listening will
become meditation, the very listening will transform you. there is no other thing to be done, just
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listening.
chuang tzu believes in understanding, not in meditation. and if i say you have to meditate, it
is only because i feel that understanding is so difficult for you. meditation will not lead you to the
goal -- no method can lead you to the goal. there exists no method, no technique. meditation will
only help you to understand. it will not lead you to the truth, it will only destroy the mind, so that
whenever there is truth, you can see it.
chu'i, the draftsman, could draw more perfect circles freehand than with a compass.
chuang tzu talks about a draftsman of the name chu'i, who could draw more perfect circles
freehand than with a compass. really, the compass is needed because you are afraid. if you are not
afraid you yourself can draw a perfect circle without any help.
in nature circles exist everywhere, everything moves on a circular path. the circle is the
easiest phenomenon in nature -- and no compass is used. the stars don't consult a map, they don't
carry a compass and they go on moving in a circle. if you give them compasses and maps, i am
certain they will be lost -- they will not know where to go and what to do.
you must have heard the story of the centipede? a centipede walks with a hundred legs. a
frog, a philosopher, saw the centipede, he looked and watched and he became very troubled; it is
so difficult to walk even with four legs, but this centipede was walking with one hundred legs.
this was a miracle! how did the centipede decide which leg to move first, and then which one
next and then which one after that? and one hundred legs! so the frog stopped the centipede and
asked a question: i am a philosopher and i am puzzled by you. a problem has arisen which i
cannot solve. how do you walk? how do you manage it at all? it seems impossible! the centipede
said: i have been walking all my life, but i have not thought about it. now that you ask, i will
think about it and then i will tell you.
for the first time thought entered the centipede's consciousness. really, the frog was right --
which leg should be moved first? the centipede stood there for a few minutes, couldn't move,
wobbled, and fell down. and he said to the frog: please don't ask another centipede this question. i
have been walking throughout my life and it was never a problem, and now you have killed me
completely! i cannot move. and a hundred legs to move! how can i manage?
life moves in a perfect circle, life moves perfectly, there is no problem. chuang tzu says of
chu'i that he could draw more perfect circles freehand than with a compass. you need a compass
because you are not confident of life; you need moralities, precepts, principles, bibles, korans,
gitas to direct you because you are not confident of the inner force. that is your life. and these
bibles, korans, and gitas, they have created the same situation for you that the frog created for the
centipede.
so many precepts to be followed, so many principles to be managed -- so many moral
concepts. you have so many things imposed on you that your inner life cannot be spontaneous.
you go astray, not because of any evil force, but because of the do-gooders. it is not a devil which
is leading you towards wrong, it is your priests, your leaders, your so-called saints.
this is very difficult. it is easy to believe in a devil, so you throw all the responsibility onto
the devil. there is no devil, i tell you. and that is what chuang tzu is saying also.
chuang tzu says: there is no god, there is no devil, only life exists. priests create god and
priests create the devil because priests create the distinction between wrong and right. and once
the distinction enters your mind you will never be right. nature is right. once the distinction enters
your mind that this is wrong and that is right, you will never be right, you will never be at ease,
you will never feel relaxed, you will always be tense. and whatsoever you do will be wrong
because the distinction creates confusion. the whole of life is so silent and meditative, why is so
much effort needed for you? it is because there is distinction.
chu'i the draftsman could draw more perfect circles freehand than with a compass. if you
are not self-conscious your life moves automatically. that compass is self consciousness: you do
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anything self-consciously and you will be in trouble. you talk, the whole day you go on chattering
with friends, and there is no problem. but if i ask you to come here and talk from this chair to the
friends who have gathered here, you will be in the same position as the centipede. and yet you
have been talking your whole life and there was never a problem.
why does this problem come in? the problem comes in because now you are self-conscious.
now so many persons are looking at you, watching you, that now you cannot be at ease and
spontaneous. now you project, now you want to plan, now you want the people to like you.
whatsoever you say, you would like them to be impressed -- now you are self conscious.
otherwise everybody is a talker, a born talker. people go on talking and there is never any
problem. but once you put them in a pulpit and tell them to talk to an audience, something goes
wrong. what goes wrong? nothing has changed but self-consciousness has entered, and self
consciousness is the problem.
his fingers brought forth spontaneous forms from nowhere. his mind was meanwhile free
and without concern with what he was doing.
no application was needed, his mind was perfectly simple and knew no obstacle.
his fingers brought forth spontaneous forms from nowhere. nowhere means everywhere,
nowhere means the ultimate void; nowhere means the ultimate source, the very basis of life.
from where are you breathing so perfectly? chuang tzu says you are not breathing, rather,'it'
breathes you. you are not breathing, because what do you have to do with it? nothing.'i am
breathing' is a false notion, it would be better to say: nature, 'it', breathes me. then the whole
gestalt changes, then the whole emphasis is on nature, not on you, not on the ego, but on 'it', the
vast, the infinite that surrounds you, the basis, the very basis -- 'it' breathes you.
when you fall in love, is it really you who falls in love -- or does 'it' fall in love through
you? when you are angry, are you angry? because when there is anger, you are not; when there is
love, you are not. in anger, in love, in any passionate emotion, you are not. in anything alive, you
disappear; then 'it' exists -- tao.
so a man of tao is one who has come to understand that 'i' is the most useless thing. it only
creates problems and nothing else -- so he drops it. really there is no need to drop it, once he
understands, it drops -- there is no 'i'. then he lives, then he eats, then he loves, then he sleeps, but
there is no 'i'.'it' lives through him. then there is no burden and no tension and no anxiety; then he
becomes a child; then his mind is free, without concern.
you cannot do anything without concern. whatsoever you do, the ego comes in, concern
comes in, and then there is anxiety.
look at this phenomenon: a surgeon operates, and he is a perfect surgeon. but if his wife is
on the operation table, he cannot operate; his hand trembles. at other times, he works like a
perfect mechanism, but when his wife is on the table, he cannot operate -- some other surgeon is
needed.
what has happened? concern has entered. with other patients there was no concern, he was
detached. he was not concerned this way or that, he was simply a surgeon, a natural force,
working. the mind was not there; he was perfect. but now that his wife is there, concern has
entered: will the operation succeed or not? will i be able to save my wife or not? now, these
problems are there, his mind has a concern -- then his hand trembles.
your whole life is a trembling because you have been carrying so many concerns; and then
you cannot draw a perfect circle.
and your writing....
there is a science about reading your writing and through it, your mind. there is a definite
basis to it because when you write, your trembling enters it. and when you sign your name you
are the most concerned. then your trembling is there, and with a magnifying glass that trembling
can be observed, can be detected. that trembling can show much about you because whatsoever
you are doing, you are doing it. it will carry you, it will carry indications about you. just by
seeing your handwriting much can be known about your personality.
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if a buddha signs, it is going to be absolutely different. there will be no trembling because
there is no concern. and even through the signature it can be said whether it belongs to a buddha
or not.
whatsoever you do, your trembling follows you like a shadow. who is creating this
trembling?
you come to me and you say: i am not at peace; my mind is not silent. how can it be unless
you drop your concern? you want your mind to be stilled, you want your mind to be made silent,
clear, transparent. without dropping the concern it is impossible because there will still be a
trembling.
the only thing that can be done without changing your concern is to suppress all the
trembling inside. so if you watch you will feel that on the surface everything is placid, calm, but
deep down you are trembling, continuously trembling. deep down fear and trembling continue.
they are born out of concern.
and what is the concern? it is about how others are impressed by you. but why are you so
worried about others? so worried that you cannot live at all? everybody is wondering what others
are thinking about them, and the same is the case with others. they are worried about you, and
you are worried about them.
once it happened that mulla nasrudin was walking on a path. it was a lonely path, the sun
had set, and darkness was descending. suddenly he felt afraid because a few people were coming,
in a band, and he thought: these must be dacoits, robbers, and there is nobody else here, only
myself. so he jumped over a wall that was just nearby and found himself in a graveyard. a newly
dug grave was there so he climbed into it, somehow calmed himself, closed his eyes, and waited
for the people to pass so he could go home. but the people had also seen that somebody was
there. mulla had jumped suddenly, so they also became afraid. what was the matter? was
somebody hiding there, or doing something mischievous? so they all jumped over the wall. now,
mulla was certain: i was right, i inferred right, they are dangerous people. now nothing more can
be done; i must pretend that i am dead. so he pretended. he stopped his breathing because you
cannot rob or kill a dead man. but the people had seen the man jump so they became very
worried. what was he doing they gathered around, looked in the grave, and they said: what is the
idea? what are you doing? why are you here? mulla opened his eyes, looked at them, then became
certain that there was no danger. he laughed, and said: now, here is a problem, a very
philosophical problem. you ask me why i am here, and i would like to ask why you are here. i am
here because of you, and you are here because of me!
it is a vicious circle: you are afraid of others, others are afraid of you, and your whole life
becomes a mess. drop out of this nonsense, drop out of this vicious circle, don't be concerned
with others. your life is enough, don't be concerned with others. and i tell you that if you can live
unconcerned your life will flower, and then others can share in it. you would like to share, and
you can give much to others, but first you must stop thinking about others and what they are
thinking about you.
this 'about' is very dangerous. nobody is at ease, nobody is at home. because of others,
everybody is chasing everybody else -- and life has become a hell.
his fingers brought forth spontaneous form from nowhere. his mind was meanwhile free
and without concern with what he was doing.
do! don't be concerned about what you are doing -- do it so wholeheartedly that the very
doing becomes a bliss. and don't think of great things, there is no such thing as great or small.
don't think that you are to do great things, play great music, paint great paintings, that you are to
become a picasso or a van gogh, or something else -- a great writer, a shakespeare, or a milton.
there is nothing -- no great things, no small things. there are great men and small men but things
are not great and small. and a great man is one who brings his greatness to every small thing that
he is doing: he eats in a great way, he walks in a great way, he sleeps in a great way. he brings the
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quality of greatness to everything.
and what is greatness? nature.... nothing is greater than nature.
eat like an emperor. that doesn't depend upon the quality of the food, it depends on the
eater, the way he celebrates it. even with just bread, butter, and salt, you can be an emperor.
it happened that epicurus had a garden, just near athens....
he was also one of the rarest of men, just like chuang tzu. he didn't believe in god, he didn't
believe in anything, because belief is nonsense. only foolish people believe. a man of
understanding has faith, not belief. faith is different. faith means trusting life, trusting it so
absolutely that one is ready to go with it, anywhere.
.... he had a small garden, and he lived there with his disciples. people thought that he was
an atheist, immoral. he did not believe in god, he did not believe in scriptures, he did not believe
in any temple; he was an atheist. but he lived in such a great way. his life was superb, magnificent
even though he had nothing, even though they were very poor. the king heard about them, and
wanted to see how they lived, and how they could be happy without belief. if you cannot be
happy even with a belief in god how could these people be happy without god?
so he came one evening to visit epicurus' garden.
he was really surprised, amazed -- it was a miracle. they had nothing, almost nothing, but
they lived like emperors. like gods they lived. their whole life was a celebration. when they went
to the stream to take their bath, it was not simply a bath; it was a dance with the river, it was
getting in tune with the river. they sang, and they danced, and they swam, and they jumped, and
they dived.
their eating was a celebration, a feast, and they had nothing, just bread and salt, not even
butter. but they felt so thankful that just to be was enough, nothing more was needed.
the emperor was very much impressed, and he asked epicurus: next time i come, i would
like to bring some gifts for you. what would you like? epicurus said: give us time to think, we
never thought that anybody would give us gifts, and we have so many gifts from nature. but if
you insist, then bring a little butter, nothing else. just that will do.
life can become a celebration if you know how to live without concern. otherwise life
becomes a long prolonged disease and illness which culminates only in death.
.... his mind was meanwhile free and without concern, with what he was doing. no
application was needed -- his mind was perfectly simple and knew no obstacle.
you need to learn everything because you have forgotten your nature completely. now
psychologists are proposing that there must be training for love, because people are by and by
forgetting how to love. much literature has come into existence: 'the art of love', 'how to love?'
people have completely forgotten sexual orgasm, sexual ecstasy. no animal needs any training!
even trees seem to be more intelligent than you.
everything has to be taught, even the very basics of life have to be taught. that means that
somehow we are uprooted. we have lost contact with nature, a gap exists.
and if you are taught how to love your love is going to be false. real love should be
spontaneous. how can you be taught to love? if you are taught, then you will act according to the
rules and the natural flow will not be there.
nature does not flow according to your rules; it has its own rules. you have simply to be
with it and it starts functioning. the day is not very far away when we will have to teach people
how to breathe. right now you laugh about it, but if you went back and asked epicurus, 'will there
be a time when people will have to be taught how to achieve orgasm?' he would have laughed.
because animals achieve it without any teaching, no masters, no johnsons are needed, no kinsey
report is needed. animals simply love -- love happens naturally.
now there are clinics in the united states where they teach people how to achieve orgasm.
and if through learning and training you achieve orgasm, remember well, it is not the real thing.
because then you are manipulating it, then you are controlling it, then somehow you are forcing
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it, and orgasm happens only in a let-go -- and a let-go cannot be taught.
you cannot teach people how to go to sleep. if you try to teach then you will disturb their
sleep because if they try -- anything -- it will only be a disturbance. you simply go to sleep, you
simply put your head on the pillow and go to sleep. if you do something, then that very doing will
be the undoing. life is just like sleep; life is just like breathing.
no application was needed -- his mind was perfectly simple and knew no obstacle.
when your mind is clear it has a clarity, you need not follow any rules. you need not carry
any scriptures in the head -- you simply look. everything is transparent, because you are clear.
so, when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten; when the belt fits, the belly is forgotten; and
when the heart is right, 'for' and 'against' are forgotten.
remember, this is one of the greatest mantras: when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten.
whenever you are healthy you don't know anything about your body -- the body is
forgotten. when there is some illness, only then can you not forget the body. do you know if there
is any head without a headache? when there is a headache you cannot forget the head. when the
shoe is pinching then it doesn't fit. when you don't have any headache, where is the head? you
completely forget about it. whatsoever is healthy is forgotten but whatsoever is ill is remembered
-- it becomes a continuous note in the mind, a continuous tension in the mind.
a perfect man of tao does not know himself; you know, because you are ill. ego is illness, a
substantial illness, because you continuously have to remember that you are somebody. this
shows that you are in a deep 'dis-ease'. disease creates the ego; a perfectly healthy natural being
forgets completely. he is like a cloud, like a breeze, like a rock, like a tree, like a bird -- but never
like a man. he is not, because only illness, like a wound, has to be remembered.
remembering is a mechanism for safety and security: if there is a thorn in your foot, you
have to remember. the mind will go continuously again and again to the spot because the thorn
has to be thrown out. if you forget it, the thorn will remain there and it will become dangerous; it
may poison the whole body. when there is a headache the body tells you to remember it,
something has to be done. if you forget it, the headache may become dangerous.
the body tells you whenever there is some illness, something wrong -- it attracts your
attention. but when the body is healthy, you forget it; you become 'body-less' when the body is
healthy. and this is the only definition of health: health is when there is no consciousness of the
body. if there is any sort of consciousness of the body, then that part is not healthy.
the same applies to the mind. when your consciousness is healthy, there is no ego -- you
don't know anything about yourself. you don't go on reminding yourself that 'i am something,'
you simply relax. you are, but there is no 'i'. it is a simple 'am-ness', an 'is-ness', but there is no 'i',
no crystallised ego. the self is not there.
so, when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten; when the belt fits, the belly is forgotten; and
when the heart is right, 'for' and 'against' are forgotten.
this is one of the deepest things to be understood. when the heart is right, all 'for' and
'against' are forgotten. when the heart is wrong, ill, then you go on continuously being burdened,
worried: this is right and that is wrong -- and the right should be followed, the wrong should be
avoided. the whole of life becomes a struggle how to avoid the wrong and how to achieve the
right. and this is not the way to achieve the right! this is the way to miss it forever.
look.... you have anger, sex, greed. if you say anger is wrong then your whole life will be
passed in an angry state. sometimes you will be angry, and sometimes you will be angry because
of your anger -- that will be the only difference. sometimes you will be angry, and when the anger
is gone you will be angry because of the anger; you call this repentance. and then you will decide
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never to be angry again, but you will be angry again, because both states are anger. sometimes
you are angry against someone else, sometimes you are angry against yourself because you were
angry.
if you are against sex and you say that it is wrong, -- as the whole world has said -- then
you will be sexual, and, after your sexuality has passed, you will feel guilty. in that guilt you will
ponder and think about sex again and again; it will become cerebral. so sometimes you will be
physically sexual, and sometimes cerebrally sexual -- sometimes sexual in the body, sometimes
sexual in the mind.
once you make a distinction, once you make a conflict, you will be divided.
once i was staying with mulla nasrudin. a very beautiful widow came to see him to ask for
his advice. she said: i am in trouble, and you have to help me. i am in love with a very handsome
man, younger than me, but he is poor. and an old man who is very, very rich and very ugly is in
love with me. so what should i do? which one should i marry? mulla nasrudin closed his eyes,
pondered, and said: marry the rich man, and be good to the poor.
this is how all conflict arises, this is how you choose both the alternatives. then you become
divided. whenever you say that this is right and that is wrong you are already divided, and your
whole life will be a conflict -- from this polarity to the other you will move like a pendulum.
don't be against anything. why? because whenever you are against anything it means that
deep down you are for it, otherwise why be against it?
a man who is not angry deep down will not be against anger. why should he be? a man who
is not greedy deep down will not be against greed. why should he be against it? there is no
problem for him, it is not a choice, he has not made any distinction. remember, it is always
greedy persons who are against greed, sexual persons who are against sex, angry persons who are
against anger, violent persons who are against voilence. then what do they do? they create an
opposite goal.
if you are violent, non-violence will become the goal. and how can a violent man become
non-voilent? what will he do? there is only one possibility, he will be violent towards himself,
that's all. what else can he do? a violent man... how can he be non-violent? an angry person... how
can he be without anger? and if an angry person cultivates non-anger, in his non-anger there will
also be anger because you cannot cultivate anything without you entering it. the anger will enter
the non-anger; the violence will enter the non violence.
if you look around, if you watch rightly, you cannot find more violent people than those
who have non violence as their goal. and you cannot find more sexual, pervertedly sexual people
than those who have brahmacharya, celibacy, as their goal.
chuang tzu says: don't make distinctions, otherwise you will be divided. once divided, you
are two, split.
a person who is split cannot be natural. nature exists in unity, it is a deep harmony, there is
no conflict at all. nature accepts everything -- there is no choice, it is a choiceless let-go. don't
choose. and this is the miracle: if you don't choose to be against anger, then when anger comes
you are simply angry. don't choose against anger. when anger comes simply be angry, and when
anger goes, let it go. don't repent, don't let it continue inside the mind, don't make it a continuity,
don't be against it. when anger comes, it comes! what can you do? when it doesn't come, it
doesn't come! you have no choice.
then a miracle happens. without choice you become so alert that your energies are divided
no longer. and when energies are undivided they are so powerful, so tremendous that anger
becomes impossible -- because anger is part of weakness. remember this... the weaker you are,
the more angry; the stronger you are, the less angry. if you are absolutely strong, there will be no
anger. remember this... the weaker you are, the more greedy -- really, the weak has to be greedy
to protect himself -- and the stronger you are, the less greedy.
when the energy is total in you, not divided, not split, you are a unity. greed disappears,
because greed belongs to a weak mind, a split mind. and when you are split, there will be anger,
and you will fight against it, and a bigger split will be created and more energy will be dissipated.
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and you will become full of inner turmoil, anarchy, not one harmonious note anywhere.
everything will be out of tune.
and the more you make an effort to bring it to a tuning, the more trouble there will be --
because you have missed the first step, and you will go on missing it to the very last.
the first step is that when the heart is right, 'for' and 'against' are forgotten. so what to do?
forget 'for' and 'against' and let the heart settle. one thing is certain, you have been fighting
against anger for so long but still you are angry -- so try chuang tzu's way. you are not going to
lose anything.
you have tried to be non-sexual and you remain sexual; on the contrary, you have become
more perverted. sex has become more poisoned -- so try chuang tzu, you are not going to lose
anything. be sexual when sex comes. just as when hunger comes, you eat food, so when sex
comes be sexual. don't make any choice, don't say this is wrong. it is good. accept it -- it is part of
nature. and suddenly the moment will come when you will be a unity and sex will be transformed
automatically into love.
because a man who is in unity.... try to understand what this unity means.
every man and every woman is bisexual: every man is both man and woman inside, and
every woman is both man and woman inside. no one is simply man or woman -- they cannot be --
because one parent was a man and the other parent was a woman, and you carry both within you
-- half and half. half your mother and half your father is carried within you, so you are both male
and female -- half and half. this is the deep split. and if you create more split, this split will widen
more and more. drop all splits, don't create any fight -- don't choose. be angry and accept it, be
sexual and accept it, be greedy and accept. what else can you do? nature has given these things to
you so accept them, and their consequences of course.
if you are angry, then someone else will be angry -- accept the anger and the consequences.
then your split drops, and by and by your inner bi-sexuality becomes a harmony, a circle is
created, an inner orgasm happens -- your female and your male meet inside. and when they meet
inside you have become one; now a new being is born. this one-ness has love as its shadow. you
cannot love. your love is a facade, a deception. your love is just a trick, your love is just to attain
sex. that's why when you attain sex, love disappears.
once you have had sexual intercourse with a woman or a man, love disappears. again after
twenty four hours energy will come, you will accumulate energy, and there will be sex again --
you will become loving again. so love is just a means to have sex, that's why you cannot love
your own wife or husband -- very difficult. how can you love? the need has disappeared. love is
just a courting, just a foreplay to persuade the other person to have sex. for a wife or a husband no
persuasion is needed, they are taken for granted. a husband can demand, a wife can demand, there
is no need to persuade. so love disappears. there is no need to court. it is almost impossible to see
how a wife can love the husband, how a husband can love the wife. they can only pretend. and
that pretension becomes a heavy, heavy thing on everybody. pretending love! then your life feels
meaningless.
if you are divided inside, then sex will be there. when you hanker after a woman or a man,
what is happening? your one part is hankering to meet the other part but you are trying to meet
the other outside. you can meet for a single moment, but again you will be alone, because outside
there can be no eternal meeting. sex is bound to be just momentary because the other is the other.
if you meet your inner woman or man inside then the meeting can be eternal. and when all
divisions are lost this meeting happens. this is an alchemical transformation: your woman and
man meet inside and you become one. and when you are one, you will have love.
love is a quality of a buddha or a christ or a chuang tzu. you are just playing with false
coins, you cannot love. and the more you understand it, the better it is, because then you will not
be fooled and you will not be fooling others.
once you are a unity, chuang tzu has happened to you also, and: when the heart is right, 'for'
and 'against' are forgotten.
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no drives, no compulsions, no needs, no attractions: then your affairs are under control. you
are a free man.
right now you have obsessions, compulsions, you have to do certain things. continuously
the body forces you, the mind forces you to do them. if you don't do them then you feel uneasy, if
you do do them, you feel guilty -- there seems to be no way out. if you move into sex, you feel
guilty, you have done something wrong; if you don't move into sex, you feel uneasy because
energy gathers and where can you release that energy? then the energy moves inside and forces
you, compels you; your life is one of compulsions and obsessions. and whatsoever you do, you
will be in trouble, because if you move into sex, you will feel frustrated; all dreams will be
shattered, nothing will be achieved. you have been imagining so much, you were projecting so
much, but the real thing is never in any way equal to that which you were dreaming.
the more you dream, the more the actual will be frustrating, and then you feel: why waste
energy? why get into relationships and unnecessary complexities? because when the other enters,
he will bring his own problems
so every relationship becomes a burden, it is not freedom -- because every relationship
arises from compulsions.
only a man whose heart is at ease, one who has become a unity, is a free man. that doesn't
mean that he will go to the himalayas, or escape to tibet. no! he will be here, but he will be here
with a different quality. he will love, he will have compassion, there will be relationships; but he
will remain free. no relationship comes out of obsession, it is just his sharing, he shares his being.
he has too much so he gives it. and if you accept his gift, he feels deeply grateful to you. look....
your love is just a technique to obtain sex, his love is not to achieve anything. his love is not to
get anything from you, his love is just a sharing. he has it, he has so much that he gives some to
you. and the more he gives, the more it grows. his being moves in a different dimension.
just look... go into the garden and see. if flowers are left on the plants, then more flowers
will not come. have been observing it. i have never allowed anybody to pluck flowers, but if on a
rose bush, five flowers have grown and you don't pluck them, no more will come, and those five
will soon die. if you pluck five, ten will come; if you pluck ten, twenty will come. the more you
pluck, the more flowers the tree will give you.
the same is the case when you are a unity: you have become a flowering tree. the more you
give, the more you find will come; the more you share, the more you grow in it. bliss grows
higher and higher, ecstasy goes deeper and deeper -- share it, because unshared, everything dies.
but the basic thing is, don't be 'for' and 'against'; then you will be a free man.
easy is right. for you the case is just the opposite. you always choose the difficult because
the difficult gives you a challenge and challenge gives you the ego. difficult is right for you; easy
is never right. because with the easy there is no conquering, the ego cannot feel fulfilled. the more
difficult a task, the more the ego feels exhilarated, ecstatic. it has to be done -- everest has to be
conquered, the moon has to be conquered.
somebody asked edmund hillary who was the first to reach the top of everest: why? why so
much effort? for a hundred years man has been trying and trying and many have died! they never
came back. why this desire to climb everest? and what is there? there is nothing! for a hundred
years many people simply died, lost their lives, never came back, but again, every year, a group
would go and try. and this is beautiful: no indian has ever bothered, and everest is in india! no
tibetan has ever bothered, and everest is on the boundary of tibet! why?
groups come from the west every year. when hillary climbed it, and came back, he was
asked: why? he said: because everest was there, and unless it is conquered, i cannot feel easy. it
remains there, unconquered, a challenge to the ego. just because it is there, it has to be conquered.
the difficult attracts. the more difficult it is, the more it attracts you. it becomes more
valuable because through it, if you conquer, you will achieve a greater ego. even if you fail, you
will achieve a greater ego because you at least tried, while others have not tried at all.
if you achieve with the easy, nothing is achieved, because the ego cannot feel greater. and if
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you fail, much is lost, because everybody will say: such an easy thing, and you couldn't achieve
it? ego is always attracted magnetically to the difficult, but easy is right. so ego is never attracted
towards the right, it is always attracted towards the wrong.
a person becomes a criminal because crime is difficult, a person becomes a politician
because politics is difficult, a person becomes mad about money because making money is
difficult. for anything that is difficult, people will go mad. not that anything is achieved, but just
because it is there like an everest, a challenge, it has to be conquered.
look at your successful people, those who have succeeded. look at them! what have they
attained? they may have reached everest, okay, but there is nothing there. one has to come back.
look at your presidents, prime ministers, rockefellers, what have they achieved? nothing! they
know deep down that they have achieved nothing. but one thing they have done, the most
difficult thing -- history will remember them.
history always remembers foolish people, because fools make history and fools write it!
chuang tzu makes no history, because easy is right. so how can you make history if you are
easy? if you win a war and kill millions of people you make history. if you just brush your teeth
in the morning how can you make history? and easy is right! you take a bath, and you sing a little
song, how can you make history? you eat your food and you silently go to sleep without any
dreams. how can you make history? no! history takes no notice of persons who are easy and
natural. history takes notice of people who are mad, obsessed with something, who create trouble
in some way or the other. and difficult is wrong, easy is right; be easy and don't try to be in
history. leave it for fools and mad people, you just stay out of it. because you cannot have both.
either you can have life, or you can be remembered in history. if you have life, you will be just an
easy and simple man, doing simple and small things, and enjoying them. you will not create any
trouble for anybody, nobody will take any notice of you; you will exist as if you never existed.
that is what easy is -- existing as if you are not existing, existing as if you are not, not in anyone's
way. nobody will know about you but there is no need. you will enjoy, you will attain to the
highest peak of ecstasy.
easy is right. easy is right. begin right, and you are easy. and this is the criterion: doing
anything, if you feel easy doing it, it is right. if you feel uneasy doing it, something is wrong. if
you are tense, it means you are living an uneasy life. if you cannot sleep, cannot relax, cannot let
go, it shows you are living an uneasy life -- you are after difficult things, impossible things.
change your style of life, you are on the wrong path. begin right and you are always easy,
begin right and you are always at rest -- that is the criterion. so always look at what happens when
you do something: if you become peaceful, if you become restful, at home, relaxed, it is right.
this is the criterion, nothing else is the criterion. what is right for you may not be right for
somebody else, remember that too. because what is easy for you may not be easy for somebody
else, something else may be easy for him. so there can be no universal law about it. every
individual has to work it out for himself. what is easy for you? don't listen to the world, because
there are people who would like to impose their laws on you. these people are enemies, criminals.
nobody who has understood life would like to impose anything on you. he will simply help
you to be easy so that you can find what is right for you.
continue easy and you are right.
and then live in such a way that you are always easy. just like a small child, sleeping
happily, eating happily, dancing happily, bubbling with energy -- just easy. remember, nobody
will take any notice of you. people may even think you are mad. because if you are serious, they
think you are valuable, if you go on laughing and you make your life fun they think you are a
fool. let them think. you be a fool, but be easy. don't be a wise man and uneasy, because no
wisdom can flower in an uneasy life. that wisdom is false, it is borrowed. be easy. and it is not
difficult to be easy. once you understand then you can find your path.
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continue easy and you are right.
beautiful is chuang tzu, incomparable is chuang tzu, unique is chuang tzu! because he says:
continue easy and you are right. he doesn't say: be non-violent, then you are right; be truthful,
then you are right; don't be angry, otherwise you will be wrong; don't be sexual.... no! nothing! he
says: be easy and continue easy, and you are right -- and then you choose your own path. he gives
you the essence, not particular directions, but just a universal truth.
the right way to go easy is to forget the right way.
because if you are too concerned with the right way you will become uneasy. so even with
chuang tzu be easy; otherwise you will become uneasy. and you are so efficient at becoming
uneasy, that you can even turn chuang tzu into a madness.
the right way to go easy is to forget the right way. just forget. be easy, that is all. and forget
that the going is easy -- that too! otherwise you will become too attached to easiness, and then
easiness will also become a rock on your chest.
if you go to chuang tzu and say: now i have become easy. he will say: go, throw this! you
are still carrying it. when you are easy, you are easy, no concept, no notion is made out of it.
when you are easy, why say it, why even carry it? because if you carry it, sooner or later it will
become a wound. an easy man is simply easy, and forgetful. he does not know that he is easy, he
does not know that he is right, he does not know that he is valuable in any way. he simply lives
his easiness.
and whenever you come to a person who lives his easiness easily, simply, without being
aware, you will be able to smell it. tension has its own smell and easiness has its own smell; but
you may not be impressed by it.
you are so tense, you are always impressed by tense people -- people who act, people who
are sitting on their thrones, like statues. then you are impressed; the thing seems so difficult. are
you impressed by a child? do you look at a child playing? nobody is impressed! then you cannot
be impressed by chuang tzu. then you cannot be impressed by a really easy person because he
may not make any impact on you.
but if you understand, you will smell a different vibration around a person who is easy. and
how will you feel it? what will be the way? the way will be that near a person who is easy you
will also feel yourself becoming easier, more relaxed.
a really relaxed man will make you relaxed, a tense man will make you tense. with a man
who lives naturally you will feel that you are at home; he will not force you in any way, he will
not try to change you in any way. he will accept you, he will be accepting. through his acceptance
you can learn acceptance and if you can accept yourself, nature takes over. and once nature takes
over, the ocean is not very far, the river is constantly flowing towards it.
***** chapter 2 : the tower of the spirit *****
12 october 1974 am in buddha hall
the spirit has an impregnable tower which no danger can disturb as long as the tower is
guarded by the invisible protector who acts unconsciously, and whose actions go astray when
they become deliberate, reflexive and intentional.
the unconsciousness and entire sincerity of tao are disturbed by any effort at self-conscious
demonstration. all such demonstrations are lies.
when one displays himself in this ambiguous way the world outside storms in and
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imprisons him.
he is no longer protected by the sincerity of tao.
each new act is a new failure.
if his acts are done in public, in broad daylight, he will be punished by men. if they are
done in private and in secret, they will be punished by spirits.
let each one understand the meaning of sincerity and guard against display!
he will be at peace with men and spirits and will act rightly, unseen, in his own solitude, in
the tower of his spirit.
only man is in suffering. suffering exists nowhere else than in the heart of man.
the whole of nature is joyous; the whole of nature is always celebrating without any fear,
without any anxiety. existence goes on existing, but man is a problem. why is this so? and every
man is a problem. if only a few were problems we could call them ill, abnormal, but just the
contrary is the case -- only a few are not problems. rarely is there a man like buddha, jesus, or
chuang tzu -- one who is at home, whose life is an ecstasy and not a suffering and an anxiety.
otherwise everybody lives in suffering and in hell.
somewhere man has gone wrong -- not any particular man, but human society as such has
gone wrong. and this has gone to the roots. whenever a child is born, the society starts changing
the child to the abnormal pattern -- the unnatural pattern through which everybody else is
suffering. psychologists have been trying hard to probe the mystery of where a child goes wrong
and they have stumbled upon the age of four. somewhere near that age the child becomes part of
society; somewhere around that age he is no longer natural. before the age of four he is still part
of the great world of trees, flowers, birds and animals; before the age of four he is still wild. after
that he is domesticated. then the society takes over. then he lives according to rules, morality,
right and wrong. then he is not total. then everything is divided. now before he moves he has to
decide deliberately how to move, what to do, and what not to do. the 'ought' has entered and that
'ought' is the disease. discrimination has come in. now the child is no longer part of the divine --
he has fallen from that grace.
this is the meaning of the biblical story of adam's fall. before he ate from the tree of
knowledge he was natural, he lived in the garden of eden. that garden of eden is here. these trees
are still living in it; animals are still part of it; the sun and moon and stars are still moving in it;
here and now is the garden of eden -- but you are out of it. why was adam turned out? he ate the
fruit of knowledge. and at the age of four every adam and every eve are turned out again. it is not
something that happened in the past it happens every time a child is born -- again the adam comes
into being, again the eve comes into being. up to the age of four there is no knowledge. by the age
of four the child starts understanding what is what. then he misses the path, then he is no longer
natural, then the spontaneity is lost. now he will live according to the rules.
once you start living according to the rules you will suffer. you will suffer because you
cannot love spontaneously, you cannot enjoy, you cannot dance, you cannot sing. once you start
living according to the rules you have to move in a fixed pattern -- and life is never a fixed
pattern, it is a fluidity, it is a liquid flexible flow. and nobody knows where it is moving. once you
start living through rules then you know where you are moving. but deep down the movement has
stopped. now you are simply vegetating, now you are simply dying -- because you are
imprisoned. and the imprisonment is very subtle -- unless you become absolutely alert you will
not be able to see it, it is like an unseen armour around you.
one of the greatest revolutionary thinkers of this age, wilhelm reich, stumbled upon this
armour. but he was proved by society to be mad and was thrown in jail. he died in jail in deep
anguish. the anguish was this: whatsoever he said was true but nobody was ready to even listen to
him. he came upon the same thing about which chuang tzu talks about in this sutra -- the
imprisonment. wilhelm reich found that every mental disease has a bodily part to it, a parallel part
in the body; in the body something has gone dead, solid. and unless that part of the body is
released, that block dispersed, and again your body energy becomes a flow is impossible to make
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your spirit free. the imprisonment must be broken; the armour must be thrown.
for example, look how the child is prohibited from the age of two. he is not allowed to play
with his genital organs: don't touch your penis. don't touch your vagina. there seems to be a
natural enjoyment in playing with one's own body. there seems to be an ecstasy, a natural ecstasy.
look at a small child, boy or girl, enjoying his own body and you will see what ecstasy is. tremors
of ecstasy move all over the body. you can see the waves passing all over the body. the child is
madly ecstatic. but this looks animalistic to us -- because we have forgotten how to be wild and
natural we will stop the child.
this stopping is for two reasons. one reason is that deep down we feel jealous. the second
reason is that we were also stopped in our childhood and man's mind is a repetitive mechanism.
whatsoever has been done to us by our parents we will do to our children. we feel guilt.
something is wrong. the child is happy and we feel something is wrong. remember, whenever a
child is happy don't make the association that something is wrong, otherwise deep down
happiness will become something wrong.
that is what has happened. whenever you feel happy you feel guilty, and whenever you feel
sad you feel happy. what nonsense -- whenever you feel happy you feel something somewhere is
wrong! 'i am doing something wrong.' whenever you are sad everything is okay, it is as it should
be. this is because whenever a child is happy, immediately, from somewhere, society enters and
says no. the child has no conception of what is wrong and what is right. he has no morality. a
child is amoral. he knows only happiness and unhappiness -- he is wild. and when you say stop,
what will the child do? waves of happiness were moving all over the body from the head to the
toe; from the first centre of sex, to the seventh centre of sahasrar -- the kundalini was awake.
every child comes into this world with his kundalini functioning. but you say stop, and
what will the child do? he will hold his breath. whenever something has to be stopped, breathing
has to be stopped. he will not breathe, he will pull in his stomach because that is the only way to
stop those waves. his diaphragm will become rock like. again and again he will pull in his
stomach and not allow deep breathing. his diaphragm will become an armour. now, beyond that
block, breathing will never pass. if breathing goes deep, it hits the sex centre, and when it hits the
sex centre, waves start moving, energy flows. that is why nobody breathes deeply.
when i tell people to breathe chaotically, they come to me and say that it is very dangerous.
they feel afraid. what is the fear? the fear is that if you breathe chaotically, you will become wild
again. the armour will be broken and the breath will hit the sex centre again. this is how society
suppresses you -- it creates a gap between the sex centre and the breathing. and if breathing does
not reach the sex centre, then all sources of happiness are blocked. your stomach becomes rock
like. it does not allow anything to move down and your body is divided into two. you never
identify yourself with the lower body. to you, lower is really something lower. evaluation has
entered. upper means something higher, something good; lower means something bad. you never
feel identified with your lower body, it is something bad -- the devil, the devil is there.
adam was turned out, and every adam and eve are turned out of the garden. why? because
they have eaten the fruit of knowledge, and the fruit of knowledge is the most poisonous. if you
want to throw out discrimination, deliberate intentional division, you will have to throw out
knowledge; you will have to become children again. only then can the armour be broken. but
there is going to be anguish if you want to try and break this armour because this armour is your
whole ego. you feel good because of it, because you are moral you feel that you have something
superior to others because you are moral.
if you break this armour a chaos will follow. first you have to go mad and then fear comes,
and if you are afraid you will again suppress, you will again put on the armour -- you will even
make it stronger. and now you have become afraid to come out of it. it protects you.
i have heard that in a small school, a primary school, the teacher was lecturing to her pupils
about the law of gravitation. she said in conclusion that because of the law of gravitation we are
able to be on the earth. one small child was very puzzled. he stood up and said that he didn't
understand -- how did we manage to stick to the earth before the law was passed?
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you think you are here because of the society; you think you are here because of morality --
and all the nonsense that goes with it; you think you are here because of your bible, koran, gita.
no! nature exists without any laws. it has its own intrinsic laws but they are not laws passed by
men. they don't need your sanction, they are there, and life goes on following them. if you don't
interfere you will reach the goal immediately; if you interfere then you will be in trouble. so if
you are in trouble, anguish and suffering, then know well that you have been interfering with
nature. nothing is possible unless you stop interfering.
this is the whole message of chuang tzu -- don't interfere with nature, allow it, move with it,
trust it. you come out of it; it is your mother; it is the source; and one day you will go back to it --
it is the ultimate goal. and in the meantime, why create interference, why fight?
you will have to go back to your childhood, you have to regress. you will have to relive
those moments when society entered and forced you to interfere. so remember one basic thing:
whenever something wrong happens on the path of life, you cannot just dissolve it by intellectual
understanding -- it is not so easy. it has become your life pattern. it is in your body and in your
bones. you will have to go back. if you really want to become natural you will have to relive the
past -- move backwards.
all meditative methods help you to go back. lie down in your bed at night and make it a one
hour effort every day. in the beginning it will be an effort, but soon effortlessness will happen and
you will enjoy it. the more you go back, the more you will feel free and great.
nature is vast, and all man created laws are narrow. they are like funnels -- the more you
move into them the narrower they become, and a moment comes of cul-de-sac, you cannot move
anywhere, and the tunnel becomes your grave. that is how everyone is stuck.
if you really want to get unstuck, at night, before falling asleep, close your eyes and just go
back and try to relive the past. move slowly, there is no hurry, you cannot do it in one day -- it
will take almost three months. move slowly. relive -- do not just remember. remembering will not
help because remembering is intellectual, you remain aloof, it doesn't touch you. relive.
what do i mean when i say relive? just go back as if it is happening again. in the beginning
it will be 'as if', but soon it becomes real. incomplete, your suppressed being is there, struggling to
become free. just go back, and soon, within three weeks, you will reach the point where you will
know this barrier. beyond this barrier you will know you were free, natural, and this barrier
created the whole trouble. since this you have never been natural. somewhere you will find your
mother, your father, standing at the barrier -- that is why you have forgotten so completely.
if you remember, you will not be able to remember beyond the age of four because the
barrier is so big. it has completely blocked things out. otherwise, why can't you remember beyond
the age of four? why have you forgotten it so deeply? your mind was there. you enjoyed, you
suffered, you passed through many experiences -- so why have you forgotten them all? you have
not forgotten. because of this barrier you have repressed everything deep down in the
unconscious. that is why people go on saying that their childhood was very beautiful. you go on
thinking that childhood was paradise. it was -- but it appears so to you because you can't
remember.
go slowly. by and by more things will come up. the whole dust of the past has to be stirred
up. you will perspire; you will be scared; your whole mind will say: what are you doing? come
back, go to the future! the mind always says go to the future because then the mind can stay
intact.
if you really want to become a meditator, first go to the past. if you have taken a wrong
route somewhere at some cross-road, the only way is to go back to the cross-roads and move
again on the right path. there is no other way. wherever you are now, from here you cannot
suddenly take the right path -- you have to go back.
and when i say relive, i mean allow it to happen in the body. remember the first day you
touched your sex centre and your father or mother told you take away your hand. remember their
eyes, their face -- everything that condemned you. just see your father standing there again, the
same face, the same eyes, the gesture, the condemnation, the whole thing. and not only this, but
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feel how you felt on that day -- the shrinking, the narrowing of your consciousness, the wound
they created, the condemnation.
a child is so helpless he has to follow your orders; whatever you say, he has to follow you.
even if it is against his nature he has to obey you. he is so helpless he cannot live without you. he
depends on you.
see the whole helplessness. feel it in your body. you may start crying, weeping. you may
start kicking. maybe you would like to hit your father -- you didn't do it then and that is the
incompletion. you will not be able to forgive your father unless you hit him in this reliving
moment. that is why no child can forgive and forget his parents. they are always there because
something happened with them. go back, relive those moments, and by and by you will be able to
go deeper and deeper. then suddenly the tunnel is no more -- you have passed the barrier. you are
under a wide infinite sky. you are a child again. only then chuang tzu will be understood by you,
not before.
and wilhelm reich and his therapy can be helpful; you can use wilhelm reich beautifully on
the path of chuang tzu.
now the sutra:
the tower of the spirit.
the spirit has an impregnable tower which no danger can disturb as long as the tower is
guarded by the invisible protector who acts unconsciously, and whose actions go astray when
they become deliberate, reflexive, and intentional.
your spirit is protected by nature itself, you need not be afraid for it. you need not be afraid
and insecure because your being is protected by the whole of existence; the whole cosmos helps
you. but the help is unconscious. it is not deliberate, and you cannot manipulate it -- you have to
be in a let go so that the cosmic force can work through you. if you become deliberate, you
become tense. if you become tense, you become narrow. if you become narrow, the infinite
cannot work through you. and whenever you become afraid, you shrink -- physical shrinking
happens.
chuang tzu says that inside you is the eternal, the immortal. no death can destroy it. there is
no need to fear for it. you are afraid because you are not there in the tower -- the invisible tower
of the spirit. you have moved into the laws and regulations of the society and those laws and
regulations cannot protect you, they only give you a feeling of protection. but nothing protects.
the laws cannot make you secure, they only give a feeling of security which is false. death
ultimately comes and shatters all your securities. you will stay trembling, fear-filled, unless you
come back to the source -- the inner tower of the spirit.
what is that tower? how does it function? it functions unconsciously.
a child is born. how does the child know that the nine months are over and he has to come
out of the womb? how does the child know? he has no calendar, no watch, nothing of the sort. but
when the nine months are over the child is ready to be born. he actually struggles to be born. that
is why pain is felt by the mother. there is a real struggle. conflict has started, and the mother
shrinks -- afraid of the pain that is going to happen to her body. so she resists. that resistance and
the child trying to come out of the womb creates the pain. if the mother allows, if she is not
resistant, there will be no pain. in primitive societies there is never pain. the more civilised a
woman, the more pain she feels. this is because she now lives according to laws and rules; now
everything has become false and unnatural.
how does the child know when the time is ripe? how does a seed know when it is time to
sprout? the seed may wait for the whole year until the night time comes. the seed never goes to
ask an astrologer or palmist; at the right moment the seed simply breaks down and loses itself in
the earth. it just drops its protection and sprouts. how do the trees flower at the right season? how
do the stars move? look at this cosmos -- so mysterious, so complicated, so complex, but moving
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so easily, so simply, so effortlessly. it is protected by tao, by nature, by the spirit of nature itself.
man is foolish because he thinks himself very wise.
then the child grows. and have you ever observed that every child is beautiful? it is very
difficult to find an ugly child. every child is beautiful. from where does the grace come? later on
it is difficult to find one beautiful person in one hundred. in the beginning all the hundred were
beautiful -- so what happened to the other ninety-nine? how did they become so ugly? why is
every child beautiful? he is beautiful because of the movement; the flow is natural. nature is
beautiful. artificial, unnatural, then you become ugly; deliberate, then ugliness enters.
a child lives unconsciously. when he feels hungry, he cries; when he feels sleepy, he sleeps.
but we force rules and regulations on him. now there are instruction books on how to raise a
child, how to be a mother, how to be a father. and every instruction is given. one wonders how
children were born before these instruction books. when the law was not passed, how did we
manage to get born at all?
the guide books give particular, specific rules. after every four hours milk is to be given to
the child. the child is crying but the mother is to watch the clock, not the child, and the four hours
have not passed. now you are destroying the unconscious nature. soon the child will follow your
example -- he will also look at the clock and when the four hours are up he will start crying --
whether he feels hungry or not! early in the morning he has to go to the toilet. toilet training is
such a nuisance. how is the child supposed to have a bowel movement when he doesn't feel one?
and his mother is standing there with a very condemnatory look on her face telling him to do it --
on order. and the child is crying and weeping, and he doesn't know how to satisfy this mother --
and she is simply mad! but sooner or later he will force himself.
psychologists have unearthed the fact that fifty per cent of neurosis in humanity is because
of toilet training. fifty per cent! the child starts forcing because he has to obey, and he feels guilty
if he cannot do it right on time. and whenever he does it naturally, then too he feels guilty because
guests were there -- and he did it in the drawing room. and how is the child to know that the
drawing room is not the right place? he lives unconsciously. he does not know which is the toilet
and which is the drawing room. he does not know when guests are there and when they are not,
and when he is allowed and when he is not. he does not live according to the rules but he will
obey because he has to follow. he is so helpless, and you are so strong.
look what happens when a child forces himself to go to the toilet. by and by the whole body
becomes an artificial mechanism to be manipulated. then nothing is natural. then, somehow, he
forces himself -- just to satisfy his parents. when he is not feeling hungry he starts weeping and
crying. you can see it happening. go to any house. small children are sitting at tables, tears
pouring from their eyes, and eating. they don't feel the hunger right now -- and they are right and
the mother is wrong. this is how the child will move on a wrong path. then, when it is the 'right'
time, he will ask for food -- and he is not hungry! when he is hungry he will control because he is
not allowed to ask.
this is the way he will lose contact with nature -- and to be out of contact with nature is to
be neurotic.
a child is feeling alive, active; he wants to run and dance. the mother tries to force him to go
to sleep. have you ever thought that this is asking the impossible? can you deliberately go to sleep
-- even you? can even the mother deliberately go to sleep? when there is no sleep, what can be
done? the child will pretend, he will close his eyes and pretend, only to open them as soon as the
mother has gone. this is training him for pretensions and making him a hypocrite all for
absolutely useless things. sleep cannot be forced -- there is no way to do it. otherwise why is there
so much insomnia? why are so many tranquillisers needed? why do people spend the whole night
tossing and turning in bed? and a child is expected to go to sleep on order, and get up on order, in
order to be a good child -- a goody-goody -- otherwise he is a bad guy. all those who are natural
are bad guys, and all those who are artificial are goody-goody. now the whole life of this being
will suffer. he will go to this priest and that, this swami and that, from this master to that, and they
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will go on giving him things to do -- this and that -- but nothing will be of much help because his
whole life style is wrong, nothing can be added because the whole structure is wrong. the whole
structure has to be dropped and a fresh start made.
but this seems too much. you have lived for forty, fifty years, and you have much invested
in your life-style. and you come to me and i tell you to drop it completely. this is what i mean by
sannyas -- it is just a decision to drop the whole life style; to change so completely that the past is
dropped. and because you no longer identify with it, you drop all the investments you had there
and all the profits that you were getting through them. there are profits, otherwise why should you
carry such a burden? it pays. society respects you -- you are a respectable person. society honours
you when you follow society.
so when i say take a jump into sannyas, i mean change your whole life-style. nothing less
will do. i cannot change fragments because you are such a disease. even if i try to change the
fragment, there is no point, because this fragment cannot change the whole the disease is so big. it
is more likely that the disease will re-change the fragment. unless you are ready to drop totally,
nothing can be done. you can meditate, you can do t.m., you can close your eyes and do a mantra
for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the evening -- you can go on befooling yourself
in many ways, hoping that something will happen without spoiling your life-style.
that is how mahesh yogi is so influential in the west. he never touches your life style. he
never says change yourself. he says you are okay whatsoever you are. just a little injection of t.m.
and everything will be okay. it is just like taking a pill; your life-style is not touched, not at all.
whoever you are, wrong or right, just add this much more mantra, to be done for ten minutes in
the morning and evening -- then everything is okay because the doors of paradise are open and
just waiting for you. and man is so foolish that he goes on believing in such tricks -- these are just
tricks. they can help just like tranquillisers. they may help you to adjust to your wrong life-style --
and that is the problem, they may help. they may give you an adjustment to your life-style, but
your life style is basically wrong. so it is better not to be adjusted to it than to be adjusted. they
may give consolations but those consolations are poisonous -- because then you will never
change. you will be consoled in your life-style, and you will think that everything is okay because
you are doing something -- t.m.
you will sleep a little better -- i know a mantra can give you better sleep. you may become
less prone to disease -- that too is possible because you will be more adjusted to a wrong life-
style. but this is not going to give you bliss. you may be less unhealthy, but this is not going to
give you ecstasy. you may be able to prolong the suffering a little more. you will be less mal-
adjusted, but you will never become an ecstatic being, a blissful being. you can become a blissful
being only when you are ready to drop the whole life-style. nothing less than sannyas can help.
the spirit has an impregnable tower which no danger can disturb as long as the tower is
guarded by the invisible protector who acts unconsciously, and whose actions go astray when
they become deliberate, reflexive, and intentional.
avoid deliberateness, avoid will, avoid intentions -- move like a child, trusting nature. when
you feel hungry, eat. when you don't feel hungry, don't eat. nature guides you. when you feel
sleepy, go to sleep. if you don't feel sleepy there is no need -- just drop the idea. move
unintentionally and soon this neurotic style of life will be dropped and you will fall back to the
source. that source is tao.
the unconsciousness and entire sincerity of tao are disturbed by any effort at self conscious
demonstration. all such demonstrations are lies.
live, but don't make your life a demonstration. all such demonstrations are lies. live, but
don't make your life a demonstration. live, but don't become a showman. don't allow
showmanship -- there is no need. what others say is useless, irrelevant; what you are is the only
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relevant thing. live according to your nature. whatsoever others think about you is their problem,
you need not worry about it. don't make your life a piece of showmanship. once you start there is
no end to it, then you will always be making yourself false, and if people pay respect to a falsity,
you will become false. if they think that it is good and respectable you will do a thing even when
there is no natural reason.
if you want to become a painter and this is an unconscious desire, become a painter and
remain poor. don't become a doctor and become rich. you may become rich by being a doctor, but
if you didn't become a doctor because of an unconscious desire, if you have only done it to satisfy
your parents, society, friends, then although you may become very, very rich, you will remain
unfulfilled -- and the ultimate thing is fulfillment.
i have heard about a doctor who became the greatest surgeon in his country. he was made
president of the national society of surgeons. the day he was made president there was a great
celebration in his honour. but he was sad.
a friend asked him: why are you looking so sad? you should be very, very happy. you have
become the greatest surgeon and nobody can compete with you now. the greatest honour that a
surgeon can have is to become president of the national society. why are you so sad? the surgeon
replied: i never wanted to become a surgeon. i have succeeded in something i never wanted. and
now there is no escape from it. if i had been a failure then there would have been a chance, but
now i am stuck. his friend said: you must be kidding. what are you saying? your family is happy,
your wife is happy, your children are happy, everybody is happy -- and everybody has great
respect for you. the surgeon said: but i cannot respect myself, and that is the basic thing. i wanted
to become a dancer but my father and mother wouldn't allow it, and i had to obey them. i was a
weakling. and i am not happy that i have become the greatest surgeon. i am unhappy because i am
the lousiest dancer in the world. i cannot dance, and that is the trouble.
fulfillment comes through nature -- not through society. you carry your destiny within
yourself but it is an unconscious thing. follow it. nobody else will know that you have reached
but you will be aware. you may not get a nobel prize because it has never been awarded to a
fulfilled person. nobody fulfilled has yet received a nobel prize, no buddha, no jesus, and it won't
happen in the future either, because the nobel prize is given to somebody who has obeyed society
very sincerely, and who has achieved society's aims -- not his own. look at the nobel prize-
winners and you will not find sadder men than those. most of them commit suicide, and this is not
accidental, it has deep meaning in it. most of them feel unfulfilled. prizes cannot fulfill you. allow
the conscious nature, don't force it consciously.
the unconsciousness and entire sincerity of tao are disturbed by any effort at self-conscious
demonstration. all such demonstrations are lies.
mulla nasrudin was ill, so he went to the doctor. the doctor said to him: nasrudin, do you
drink alcoholic beverages? nasrudin said no. and his hands were trembling. even at that moment
he was drunk -- you could smell it on his breath. so the doctor said: all right then. do you chase
after women? nasrudin said no. and he had just come from a prostitute -- you could see the
lipstick on his face. 'do you smoke, nasrudin?' said the doctor.'no never,' said nasrudin -- and you
could see a packet of cigarettes in his pocket, and his fingers were brown. 'what do you do then?'
said the doctor. 'i tell lies,' said mulla nasrudin.
and this is how all your successful men are: the greater liar you are, the greater will be your
success. to succeed in this world you have to be a liar. but then you miss yourself. you succeed in
this world but you become a failure in the other. and, finally, the other counts.
all such demonstrations are lies. when one displays himself in this ambiguous way the
world outside storms in and imprisons him.
once you show the inclination towards demonstration and showmanship, the world comes
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in and imprisons you immediately. you have become a victim.
he is no longer protected by the sincerity of tao.
each new act is a new failure.
once you become interested in what others say about you, each new act of yours will be a
failure. here it may succeed but this success is absolutely useless because you are never fulfilled
by it. you never flow through it. you never come to the fulfillment of your destiny. your seed
remains a seed. you may accumulate cuttings from newspapers about yourself, but those dead
cuttings, certificates, that you put on the wall of your sitting room, are not life. faces that you
carry with you when you go out, smiles that are false, are not life. and by and by, with every new
act, you go deeper into lies. how do you think you can be blissful through these lies? you may
attain much of the rubbish of this world but you will lose all of the real.
says chuang tzu: be in tao, authentically in it, sincerely in it. there is only one sincerity
needed of you, and that sincerity is towards tao -- your inner nature, your authentic being. no
other sincerity is needed -- let the whole world say you are insincere.
that is what buddha's father said to him -- because buddha deserted his parents. that is what
buddha's wife said to him because he deserted her. that is what his whole kingdom said to him
because he deserted the whole kingdom. but he was happy, and he remained sincere to his tao, his
nature. and he said: no other way is possible. if you suffer, you suffer because of your
expectations -- not because of me.
you are here to fulfill yourself. others are here to fulfill themselves. if they expect
something from you this is their problem; they will suffer. but you need not become false because
of it.
be sincere to your inner nature and help others to be sincere to their inner nature. this is
what i call a religious man. a religious man is one who is sincere to his inner nature and helps
others to be sincere to their inner nature. you are here to fulfill your destiny, and others are here to
fulfill theirs. don't expect anything from them, otherwise you will turn them into showmen, you
will turn them into liars. don't expect anything from anybody, and don't fulfill others' expectations
of you. this is arduous, but this is what sannyas is -- this is what it is all about. don't help
anybody's expectation of you to grow. don't even give them a hint that you will fulfill it.
whatsoever suffering you pass through, be ready to pass through it, but don't allow others to have
expectations about you. otherwise the world will close you in and there will be imprisonment.
once you nod yes to doing something, then you are closed in. you are in the tunnel already, and
now with every step, every new act, you will fall into a new misery, new unfulfillment, new lies,
new failures. drop fulfilling others' expectations, and drop expecting others to fulfill yours.
remember, if you suffer, you suffer because of you; if others suffer, they suffer because of them.
nobody suffers because of others -- remember that deeply. only then will you be able to be really
sincere to your inner self; and that sincerity is religiousness.
hindus have called this rit. jesus calls it the kingdom of god. chuang tzu calls it tao.
whatsoever the word used, it means to stay close to one's unconsciousness, and to flow with it
without any conditions. it means to flow unconditionally with the unconscious, wherever it leads
-- and to trust it.
this is what trust is. it is not a belief in a god, not a belief in a heaven or hell, not a belief in
concepts, theories or philosophies. trust means trusting nature from whence you came and to
which finally you return. trusting that nature you will return fulfilled, and each moment of your
life will be a new and deeper fulfillment. otherwise each new act is a new failure.
if his acts are done in public, in broad daylight, he will be punished by men. if they are
done in private and in secret, they will be punished by spirits.
don't demonstrate yourself. if you demonstrate in public, in broad daylight, you will be
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punished by man. this has to be understood. when you become a demonstrator, a showman, when
your life becomes a circus, an exhibition, people will appreciate you because you are falling
victim to their whims, to their expectations. they will applaud you, but this is not going to last
very long. sooner or later they will start feeling your lies, because how long can you carry a lie? it
shows, and when they start feeling your lies they will punish you. look at richard nixon. that
happens to everybody who becomes a showman. first they applaud you. now you have become a
victim. just to get their applause you will lie more and more. you will start filling their
expectations and you will become more and more unreal. this is a vicious circle. and the more
unreal you become, the more they will be able to see that you are lying. then they will start
punishing you. whenever others appreciate you -- beware, you are moving on a dangerous path.
sooner or later they will punish you. when people talk about your success -- beware, now failure
is not far off. when they put you on the throne, escape, because sooner or later they will throw
you off. but you are so foolish and stupid, that you never see the fact that somebody else was
there on the throne before you. they put him there, and now, for you, they have thrown him off.
now they are garlanding and welcoming you, but sooner or later they will find another showman
and they will throw you out. this happens to everybody who lives through public opinion. don't
ask for any success in the outside world and you will not have any failure. don't ask people to
respect you, then there will be no insult.
chuang tzu says be the last, so nobody can push you further back. don't move to the front of
the queue because then everybody will be your enemy and sooner or later they will punish you.
everything has its opposite with it. if they appreciate you they will punish you; if they respect you
they will insult you.
what is the mechanism of it? when somebody respects you, he feels insulted deep down --
deep down he has become inferior to you. so how can he forgive? he cannot. someday the
accounts will have to be put right. when he bowed down and touched your feet, that very moment
a deep wound happened within him. he was lower than you. now he will have to prove that he is
not. someday he will prove that he is higher than you. try to understand the inner mechanism:
accounts have to be settled, you cannot go on with an imbalance whenever you appreciate
somebody, at that very moment, if you are alert, you can find inside that you would also like to
insult him. only a time gap is needed. sooner or later it will come up. a man who is wise never
asks for your appreciation. when you come with garlands for him, he says: stop here and now,
because later i will have to pay.
if his acts are done in public, in broad daylight, he will be punished by men. if they are
done in private and in secret, will be punished by spirits.
it may be that you are not doing your showmanship in public but in private. people have
become so false, that even in their bathroom, when they are alone, they are liars. even there they
are not real and authentic. lies have become so ingrained that you cannot easily put them aside --
they follow you. even in your dreams you lie, even in your dreams. lies have become so deep-
rooted that even there they follow you. if you want to kill your father, you will kill your uncle in
your dream. this is how lies follow. your uncle has not done anything to you but he is the nearest,
and he looks just like your father. even in your dream it is difficult to kill your father. that is why
dreams become complex and freuds and jungs are needed to interpret them. you bring up the
uncle, and freud will read the father. the uncle is just the symbol -- nearest to the father.
if you do in private then by nature itself you will be punished. showmanship has to be
punished. that is what chuang tzu means by the spirit: he means by nature itself you will be
punished.
if you don't want to be punished then don't be a showman. remain natural whatsoever others
say. just because they say such and such, don't change yourself. even if they say you are
rebellious, criminal, bad, evil, let them think it. even if they put you on the cross, let them do it,
but you remain true to yourself. when jesus was crucified he could have escaped. pontius pilate
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was ready to forgive him but jesus had to ask for it. he would not ask because he was
authentically true towards his own nature.
when socrates was punished by athens there was a condition. they said: if you will promise
the court that you will not talk around the town, and you will not discuss things and philosophies,
if you will keep silent, then we can forgive you. socrates laughed and said: that is impossible
because i cannot be untrue to my own true nature. that is how i am. i will continue my business of
talking. you can kill me, that is for you to decide. he accepted poison but he would not accept
silence; he would not accept to keep quiet.
be true to yourself, and don't look at what others are saying. this is the only way to reach to
the divine, because it is the only way to be natural.
let each one understand the meaning of sincerity and guard against display.
he will be at peace with men and spirits and will act rightly, unseen, in his own solitude, in
the tower of his spirit.
he will be at peace with men and spirits. if you are not in any way interested in showing
who you are, you will be at peace with nature and people. even if they kill you, you will be at
peace. jesus was at peace when he was crucified. socrates was as peaceful as ever even when the
poison was given. you will be at peace. what does it maker what they do? it does not touch you,
you remain aloof, detached in your tower of the spirit. in your inner nature you are protected.
nothing reaches and penetrates you.
he will be at peace with men and spirits and will act rightly, unseen, in his own solitude, in
the tower of his spirit.
and when chuang tzu says he will act rightly, he does not mean right against wrong. no. he
does not mean the opposite of wrong, he means the natural. the natural is right. the easy is right.
to be yourself is right. to be yourself is all that you can really be. anything else is to go astray.
***** chapter 3 : flight from the shadow *****
13 october 1974 am in buddha hall
there was a man who was so disturbed by the sight of his own shadow and so displeased
with his own footsteps, that he determined to get rid of both.
the method he hit upon was to run away from them. so he got up and ran.
but every time he put his foot down there was another step, while his shadow kept up with
him without the slightest difficulty.
he attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. so he ran faster and
faster, without stopping, until he finally dropped dead.
he failed to realise that if he merely stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish, and if
he sat down and stayed still, there would be no more footsteps.
man creates his own confusion just because he goes on rejecting himself, condemning
himself, not accepting himself. then a chain of confusion, inner chaos and misery is created. why
don't you accept yourself as you are? what is wrong? the whole existence accepts you as you are,
but you don't.
you have some ideal to achieve. that ideal is always in the future -- it has to be, no ideal can
be in the present. and the future is nowhere; it is not yet born. because of the ideal you live in the
future which is nothing but a dream; because of the ideal you cannot live here and now; because
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of the ideal you condemn yourself.
all ideologies, all ideals, are condemnatory because then an image is created in the mind.
and when you go on comparing yourself with that image you will always feel that something is
lacking, something is missing. nothing is lacking and nothing is missing. you are perfect as far as
there is any possibility of perfection.
try to understand this, because only then will you be able to understand chuang tzu's
parable. it is one of the most beautiful parables that anybody has ever talked about, and it goes
very deep into the very mechanism of the human mind. why do you go on carrying ideals in the
mind? why are you not enough as you are? just at this moment why are you not like gods? who is
interfering? who is blocking your path? this very moment why can't you enjoy and be blissful?
where is the block?
the block comes through the ideal.... how can you enjoy? you are filled with so much anger;
first the anger has to go. how can you be blissful? you are filled with so much sexuality; first the
sex has to go. how can you be like gods celebrating this very moment? you are filled with so
much greed, passion, anger; first they have to go. then you will be like gods.
this is how the ideal is created and because of the ideal, you become condemned. compare
yourself with the ideal, and you will never be perfect, it is impossible. if you say 'if', then bliss is
impossible because that 'if' is the greatest disturbance.
if you say, 'if those conditions are fulfilled then i will be blissful', then these conditions are
never going to be fulfilled. and, secondly, even if these conditions are fulfilled, by that time you
will have lost the very capacity to celebrate and enjoy. and moreover, when these conditions are
fulfilled -- if ever, because they cannot be fulfilled -- your mind will create further ideals.
this is how you have been missing life for lives together. you create an ideal and then you
want to be that ideal; then you feel condemned and inferior. because of your dreaming mind your
reality is condemned; dreams have been disturbing you.
i tell you just the opposite. be like gods this very moment. let there be anger, let there be
sex, let there be greed -- you celebrate life. and by and by you will feel more celebration, less
anger; more blissfulness, less greed; more joy, less sex. then you have hit upon the right path. it is
not otherwise. when a person can celebrate life in its totality, all that is wrong disappears, but if
you try first to make arrangements for the wrong to disappear, it never disappears.
it is just like fighting with darkness. your house is filled with darkness and you ask: how
can i light a candle? before i light a candle this darkness has to be dispelled. this is what you have
been doing. you say that first greed must go, then there will be samadhi, ecstasy. you are foolish!
you are saying that first the darkness must go then you can light a candle as if darkness can
hinder you. darkness is a non entity, it is nothing, it has no solidity to it. it is just an absence, not a
presence, it is just the absence of light. light the light and darkness disappears.
celebrate, become a blissful flame, and all that is wrong disappears. anger, greed, sex, or
whatsoever else you name, are not solid, they are just the absence of a blissful, ecstatic life.
because you cannot enjoy, you are angry. it is not that somebody creates your anger --
because you cannot enjoy, you are in much misery, that is why you are angry. others are only
excuses. because you cannot celebrate love cannot happen to you -- hence sex. that is settling for
shadows. and then the mind says: first destroy these and then there will be the descendence of
god. it is one of the most patent stupidities of humanity, the most ancient. and it follows
everybody.
it is difficult for you to think that at this very moment you are gods, but i ask you -- what is
lacking? what is missing? you are alive, breathing, conscious -- what else do you need? this very
moment be like gods. even if you feel that it is just an 'as if', don't bother. even if you feel 'i am
just presuming that i am like a god', presume, don't bother. start with the 'as if', and soon the
reality will follow, because in reality you are. and once you start existing as a god, all misery, all
confusion, all darkness disappears. become a light and this becoming has no conditions to be
fulfilled.
now i will enter this beautiful parable.
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there was a man who was so disturbed by the sight of his own shadow and so displeased
with his own footsteps, that he determined to get rid of both.
remember, you are this man, this man exists in everybody. this is how you have been
behaving, this is also your logic -- flight from the shadow. this man was much disturbed by the
sight of his own shadow. why? what is wrong with a shadow? why should you be disturbed by a
shadow? because you may have heard, dreamers have said, that gods have no shadows. when
they walk no shadow is created. this man was disturbed because of these gods.
it is said that in heaven the sun rises and gods walk but they don't have any shadows, they
are transparent. but i tell you, this is just a dream. nowhere does anything exist, can anything
exist, without a shadow. if it is, then a shadow will be created; if it is not, only then the shadow
can disappear.
to be, means to create a shadow. your anger, your sex, your greed -- all are shadows. but
remember they are shadows. they are in a sense, and still they are not, that is the meaning of a
shadow. it is non substantial. a shadow is just an absence. you stand, the sun's rays fall on you,
and because of you, a few rays cannot pass. then the figure is created, the figure of the shadow. it
is just an absence. you obstruct the sun, that is why the shadow is created.
the shadow is not substantial, you are substantial. you are substantial, that is why the
shadow is created. if you were like a ghost then there would be no shadow. and the angels in
heaven are nothing but ghosts, ghosts dreamed up by you and your ideologists, men who create
ideals. this man was disturbed because he had heard that you become a god only when the
shadow disappears.
there was a man who was so disturbed by the sight of his own shadow and so displeased
with his own footsteps, that he determined to get rid of both.
what are your disturbances? if you go deep, you will find nothing but the sound of your
footsteps. why are you so disturbed by the sound of your footsteps? you are substantial so there
must be a little sound, one has to accept this
but the man had heard the story that gods have no shadows, and when they walk, no sound
of footsteps is created. these gods can be nothing but dream-objects; they exist only in the mind.
this heaven exists nowhere. whenever something exists, sound is created around it -- footsteps,
shadows. this is how things are, you cannot do anything about it, this is how nature is. if you try
to do something about it you will go wrong; if you try to do something about it your whole life
will be wasted, and in the end you will feel that you have not reached anywhere. the shadow
remains, the footsteps make sounds, and death is knocking at the door.
before death knocks, accept yourself -- and then a miracle happens. that miracle is that
when you accept yourself, you don't run away from yourself.
right now, each one of you is running away from himself. even if you come to me, you
come to me as part of your escape from yourself. that is why you cannot reach me; that is the gap.
if you have come to me as an escape from yourself you cannot come to me, because my whole
effort is to help you not to escape from yourself. don't try to escape from yourself, you cannot be
anybody else. you have a definite destiny and individuality.
just as your thumb makes a sign, a print, unique and individual -- that type of thumb has
never existed before and will never exist again, it belongs only to you, there will never be another
like it -- the same is the case with your being also. you have a being unique and individual,
incomparable. it has never been before, it will never be again, only you have got it. celebrate it!
something unique has happened to everyone, god has given a unique gift to everyone, and you
condemn it you want something better! you try to be wiser than the existence, you try to be wiser
than tao -- then you go wrong.
remember, the part can never be wiser than the whole, and whatsoever the whole is doing is
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the final thing, you cannot change. you can make an effort to do so and waste your life, but
nothing will be achieved through it.
the whole is vast, you are just an atomic cell. the ocean is vast, you are just a drop in it. the
whole ocean is salty, and you are trying to be sweet. it is impossible! but the ego wants to do the
impossible, the difficult, that which cannot be done. and chuang tzu says, easy is right. why can't
you be easy and accepting? why not say yes to the shadow? the moment you say yes, you forget
it, it disappears, from the mind at least, even if it remains with the body.
but what is the problem how does a shadow create a problem? why make a problem out of
it? as you are right now, you make a problem out of everything. this man was puzzled, disturbed,
by the sight of his own shadow. he would have liked to be a god, he would have liked to be
shadowless.
but you are already like a god and you cannot be anything that you are not already. how can
you be? you can only be that which you are, all becoming is just moving towards the being which
is already there. you may wander, and knock on others' doors, but this is just playing hide and
seek with yourself. it is up to you how much you knock on others' doors and how much you
wander here and there. finally you will come to your own and to the realisation that your own has
always been there. nobody can take it away. nature, the tao, cannot be taken away from you.
this man was disturbed because of his shadow. the method he hit upon was to run away
from it. that is the method everybody hits upon. it seems that the mind has a vicious logic.
for example, if you feel angry, what will you do? the mind will say: don't be angry, take a
vow. what will you do? you will suppress it and the more you suppress, the more the anger will
move to the very roots of your being. then you will not be sometimes angry and sometimes not
angry; if you have suppressed too much you will be continuously angry, it will become your
blood, it will be a poison all over. it will spread into all your relationships. even if you are in love
with someone, the anger will be there and the love will become violent. even if you try to help
somebody, in that help there will be poison because the poison is in you. and all your acts will
carry it, they will reflect you. when you feel this again, the mind will say: you have not been
suppressing enough, suppress more. but anger is there because of suppression, and the mind says:
suppress it more! then there will be more anger.
your mind is sexual because of suppression and the mind says: suppress it more. find new
methods, and ways and means to suppress it more so brahmacharya will flower. but it cannot
flower that way. through suppression sex not only goes into the body, it goes into the mind, it
becomes cerebral. then a person goes on thinking about it, again and again. hence so much
pornographic literature in the world.
why do people like to see pictures of naked women? are women not enough? they are, they
are more than enough! so what is the need? the picture is always more sexual than a real woman.
a real woman has a body and a shadow, and her footsteps will be there, and sound will be created.
a photograph is a dream, it is absolutely mental, cerebral, and it has no shadow.
a real woman will perspire and there will be a smell of the body; a picture never perspires,
and there is no smell of the body. a real woman will be angry; a picture is never angry. a real
woman will age, will become old; a picture always remains young and fresh. a picture is just
mental. those who suppress sex in the body become mentally sexual. then their mind moves in
sexuality, and then it is a disease.
if you feel hungry it is okay, eat but if you think about food continuously then it is an
obsession and a disease. when you feel hungry it is okay if you eat and are finished with it. but
you are never finished with anything, and everything goes into the mind.
mulla nasrudin's wife was ill and she had been operated on. a few days earlier she had come
back home from the hospital, so i asked: how is your wife? has she recovered from the operation?
he said: no, she is still talking about it. if you are thinking about something, talking about
something, it is there. and now it is more dangerous because the body will recover, but the mind
can go on and on and on -- ad infinitum. the body may recover, but the mind will never recover.
if you suppress hunger in the body, it goes into the mind. the problem has not been thrown
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out, it has been pushed in. suppress anything and it goes to the roots. then the mind will say that if
you are not succeeding, something is wrong you are not making enough effort. make more effort.
the method he hit upon was to run away from them.
mind has only two alternatives, fight or flight. whenever there is a problem, the mind says
either fight it, or escape from it. and both are wrong. if you fight, you remain with the problem. if
you fight, the problem will be there continuously. if you fight, you are divided, because the
problem is not outside -- the problem is inside. for example, if there is anger and you fight, what
will happen? half of your being will be with the anger, and half with this idea of fight. it is as if
both your hands are fighting each other. who is going to win? you will be simply dissipating
energy. no one is going to be victorious. you can fool yourself that you have now got your anger
suppressed, now you are sitting on your anger, but then you will have to sit on it continuously, not
even a single moment's holiday is allowed. if you forget about it for a single moment, you will
lose your whole victory. so people who have suppressed something are always sitting on those
suppressed things and they are always afraid. they cannot relax. why has relaxation become so
difficult? why can't you sleep? why can't you relax? why can't you be in a let go? because you
have suppressed so many things. you are afraid that if you relax, they will come up. your so
called religious people cannot relax. they are tense, and the tension is because of this: they have
suppressed something, and you say relax they know that if they relax the enemy will come up.
they cannot relax. they are afraid to go to sleep.
go to your mahatmas, they are more afraid of sleep than anything. and they think in their
minds that someday they will be capable of not sleeping at all. they go on cutting their sleep from
eight hours to six, from six to five, from five to three, to two. and if an old monk, a sannyasin can
sleep for only two hours a day, this is thought to be something of an achievement. this is foolish.
this is not an achievement. and this is not what krishna means when he says in the gita, that when
the world sleeps, the yogi is awake. this is not the meaning. the meaning is that the body is
relaxed, the body goes into sleep, but the inner consciousness remains alert even in sleep. that is
something absolutely different, it has nothing to do with ordinary sleep.
really a yogi sleeps better than you. he will do, because he can relax, he is not afraid. but
these so called religious people will be afraid, because in their dreams all that they have
suppressed will come up. mahatma gandhi has written in his autobiography: i have become a
victor of sex as far as my waking hours are concerned, but in sleep, sex dreams still persist. they
will persist, because a suppressed thing will come up in the dreams. why in the dream? because
now you are asleep, the censor is relaxed, and the fighter is no longer there -- he is sleeping. the
enemy will bubble up.
the mind thinks, either fight -- if you fight then you suppress -- or escape. but to where will
you escape? even if you go to the himalayas the anger will follow you, it is your shadow; the sex
will follow you, it is your shadow. wherever you go, your shadow will be with you.
the method he hit upon was to run away from them. so he got up and ran.
but every time he put his foot down there was another step, while his shadow kept up with
him without the slightest difficulty.
he was surprised, he was running so fast, but there was no difficulty for the shadow. the
shadow was following easily, not even perspiring, not breathing hard. there was no difficulty on
the part of the shadow because a shadow is not substantial, a shadow is nobody. the man may
have been perspiring, he may have had difficulty breathing, but the shadow was always in step
with him. the shadow cannot leave you in this way. neither fighting nor flight will help. where
will you go? wherever you go, you will carry yourself with you and your shadow will be there.
he attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. so he ran faster and
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faster, without stopping, until he finally dropped dead.
one has to understand the logic of the mind. if you don't understand you will be a victim of
it. the mind has a vicious logic, it is a vicious circle -- it is circular. if you listen to it, then every
step will lead you more and more into the circle. this man is perfectly logical, you cannot find any
fault, any flaw, in his logic. there is no loophole, he is as perfect a logician as any aristotle. he
says that if the shadow is following him it shows that he is not running fast enough. he must run
faster and faster, then the moment will come when the shadow will not be able to follow him. but
the shadow is yours, and the shadow is nobody. it is not somebody else following you; if it were,
then the logic would have been right.
remember, when there is somebody else the mind is always right; when you are alone, the
mind is always wrong. in society, with others, the mind is almost always right; with yourself, in
isolation, the mind is always wrong. why? because mind is just an instrument to exist with others;
it is just a technique to help you to be with others; it has nothing to do with yourself. mind is
needed because of society. if a child is born and he is not exposed to any society then the mind
will not develop, there will be no mind. it has happened many times. it happened near calcutta,
thirty or forty years ago, that a girl was taken by wolves who took care of her, and she grew. she
was fourteen when she was caught again by society. but she was just a wolf child; no human
mind at all. she would run on all fours, and she was very dangerous, she needed to eat raw meat.
and she was very strong, even eight strong men were not enough to control her. she had a wolf
mind. she had to grow up with wolves, a society of wolves, so she had to grow a wolf-mind. it
was impossible to train her to stand on two feet. she would try two or three steps, and again, she
would fall down and be on all fours. but she could run so fast on all fours that nobody could
follow her.
again, just ten years ago, a boy was found in uttar pradesh, near lucknow. the same incident
had happened -- wolves seem to be very loving to children. they raised the child, a boy. when he
was caught he was about twelve. this time the doctors tried hard. they hospitalised the boy, they
massaged him, they gave him medicines and everything. within six months the child was dead,
because they tried to make him a human being and his whole being refused. when they got hold
of him he was so healthy that no human being was ever so healthy. he was wild, he was a wolf,
and when they hospitalised him and started treating him he became ill; within six months they
killed him. they were trying to create a human mind, but it was impossible. they only succeeded
in training him to say one word, his name. they named him ram. in six months, that was their only
success. if you asked him: what is your name? the wolf child could say: ram. that was all.
a mind is a social function. a wolf needs a mind for a society of wolves; a man needs a
mind for a society of men. and because of this there exist many types of human minds because
there are so many societies on the earth.
a hindu has a different mind from a mohammedan; a christian has a different mind from an
aboriginal; a russian has a different mind from an american. they see differently, their perspective
is different, their interpretation is different. the same thing is seen absolutely differently. why?
because to exist in a particular society you need a particular mind. in russia if you believe in god,
you are thought to be crazy. in india if you don't believe in a god you are thought to be crazy.
once it happened that i was conducting a meditation camp and two dogs were watching
people doing the dynamic meditation, with chaotic expressions. and then i heard the one dog say
to the other: when i do this, my master gives me worm pills! he thinks i am crazy!
wherever you go in the world, be alert, don't do the dynamic meditation in front of others,
they will think you have gone crazy.
everybody has settled for a mind, and every mind is a fragment. one has to throw away this
mind only then the cosmic mind, the universal mind, happens to you.
this fragmentary mind is just a method, a function for society. you need language to talk to
others, you need mind to relate to others. remember, mind is almost always right when you are
using it with others, and it is almost always wrong when you start using it with yourselves. this
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man was right. if somebody else had been following him, then he was right, absolutely right: he
was not running fast enough and that was why the other was following. but he was wrong,
because there was nobody else. the mind was useless. mind for others -- meditation for yourself.
mind for others -- no mind for yourself. that is the whole emphasis of chuang tzu, or zen, or sufis,
or hasids, of all those who know; of buddha, jesus, mohammed, of all those who have known. the
whole emphasis is: mind for others, no mind for yourself.
this man got into trouble because he used the mind for himself, and the mind has its own
pattern. the mind said: faster, faster! if you go fast enough, this shadow will not be able to follow
you.
he attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. the failure was there
in the first place because he was running. but the mind cannot say that, the mind has not been fed
for it. it is a computer, you have to feed it, it is a mechanism. it cannot give you anything new, it
can only give you whatsoever you have fed into it. the mind cannot give you anything new;
whatsoever it gives you is borrowed. and if you are addicted to listening to it always you will be
in trouble when you turn towards yourself. when there is a conversion, a turning towards the
source, then you will be in difficulty. then this mind is absolutely useless -- not only useless, it is
a positive hindrance, it is harmful. so drop it.
i have heard it happened that one day mulla nasrudin's son came home from his progressive
school and brought a book on sexology. the mother was very much disturbed but she waited for
mulla nasrudin to come. something had to be done; this progressive school was going too far!
when mulla nasrudin came his wife showed him the book.
nasrudin went upstairs to find out where his son was. he found him in his room, kissing the
maidservant. so nasrudin said: son, when you are finished with your homework, come down.
but this is logical! logic has its own steps, and each step follows another, there is no end to
it.
this man followed the mind, so he ran faster and faster without stopping, until he finally
dropped dead. faster and faster without stopping -- then only death can occur.
have you ever observed that life has not occurred to you yet? have you observed that there
has never been a single moment of life as such happening to you? you have not experienced a
single moment of the bliss that chuang tzu and buddha talk about. and what is going to happen to
you? nothing is going to happen to you except death. and the nearer you come to death, the faster
you run, because you think that if you go faster you will escape.
where are you going, so fast? man and man's mind have always been mad about speed, as if
we are going somewhere and speed is needed. so we go on becoming more and more speedy.
where are you going?
finally, whether you go slow or fast, you reach death.
there is a sufi story. a king dreamed that his death was coming. he saw a shadow standing in
the dream so he asked: who are you? the shadow said: i am your death and tomorrow, by the time
the sun sets, i will be coming to you. the king wanted to ask if there was any way to escape, but
he couldn't because he became so afraid that the dream was broken, and the shadow disappeared.
he was perspiring and trembling.
in the middle of the night he called all his wise men and said: find out the meaning of this
dream. and as you know, you cannot find more foolish people than wise men. they ran to their
houses and brought their scriptures. they were big, big volumes. and they started to consult and
debate and discuss and fight with each other and argue.
listening to their talk the king became more and more confused. they were not agreeing on
any point; they belonged to different sects, as wise men always do. they don't belong to
themselves, they belong to some dead tradition. one was a hindu, another was a mohammedan,
another was a christian. they had brought their scriptures with them and they tried and tried. and
as they got into discussion they became mad, and argued over and over again. the king was very
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much disturbed because the sun was rising, and when the sun rises, it is not long until the sun will
set, because rising is really setting, it has already started. the journey has started and within
twelve hours the sun will set.
he tried to interrupt them, but they said: don't interrupt, this is a serious question. then one
old man, who had served the king for his whole life, came near and whispered in his ear: it is
better that you escape, because these people will never come to any conclusion. wise men have
never reached any conclusion. they will discuss and debate, and their death will come, but the
conclusion will not come my suggestion is that when death has warned you, it is better that you
escape from this palace at least! go anywhere! and go fast! this advice appealed, it was absolutely
right. when man cannot do anything, he thinks of flight, escape.
the king had a very fast horse, he got onto it and escaped. he had told the wise men: if i
come back alive and you have decided, tell me -- but right now, i am going. he was very happy,
and faster and faster he went, because it was a life and death problem.
again and again he looked back to see if the shadow was coming, but there was no shadow.
he was happy, death was not there, and he was escaping. by the time the sun was setting, he was
hundreds and hundreds of miles away from the capital. under a big banyan tree he stopped, got
down from his horse, thanked it and said: it is you, you who have saved me. suddenly, as he was
talking to and thanking the horse, he felt the same hand that he had felt in the dream. he looked
back. the same shadow was there, and death said: i would also like to thank your horse, he is
really fast. i have been waiting under this banyan tree all day and i was worried whether you
would be able to reach it or not the distance was so great, but this horse is really something. you
have arrived at exactly the moment you were needed here.
where are you going? where will you reach? all this flight and escape will bring you under
the banyan tree. and as you are thanking your horse or your car, you will feel the hand of death on
your shoulder. death will say: i have been waiting here for you for a long time. you have come.
and everybody comes at the right moment, not a single moment is lost. everybody reaches
there right on time, nobody is ever late. i have heard that a few people have reached before their
time but i have never heard of anybody reaching there late.
some people reach there before their time because of their doctors.
he attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. so he ran faster and
faster, without stopping, until he finally dropped dead. he failed to realise that if he merely
stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish.
easy it was -- the easiest! if you just move into the shade where the sun is not, the shadow
disappears, because a shadow is created by the sun. it is the absence of the sun's rays. if you are
under a tree in the shade, the shadow disappears.
he failed to realise that if he merely stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish. that
shade is called silence, that shade is called inner peace. don't listen to the mind, just step into the
shade, into the inner silence where no rays of the sun enter.
you remain on the periphery, that is the problem. there you are in the light of the outside
world, and shadow is created.
close your eyes, move into the shade. the moment you close your eyes the sun is no longer
there, hence all meditations are done with closed eyes -- you are moving into your own shade.
inside there is no sun and no shadow, outside is society, and outside are all types of shadows.
have you ever realised that your anger, your sex, your greed, your ambition, are all part of the
society? if you really move in and leave the society out, where is anger? where is sex? but
remember, in the beginning when you close your eyes, they are not really closed. you carry
images from the outside inside and you will find the same society reflected. but if you continue
simply moving, moving, moving inside, sooner or later the society will be left out. you are in,
society is out -- you have moved from the periphery to the centre.
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in this centre, there is a silence: no anger, and no anti anger, no sex, and also no
brahmacharya, no greed, no non-greed, no violence, no non-voilence -- because those are all
outside. the opposites are also outside -- remember. inside you are neither, not this nor that, you
are simply a being, pure. this is what i mean, being like a god -- a pure being with no opposites
hanging around, fighting, 'flighting' -- no! simply being. you have moved into the shade.
he failed to realise that if he only moved into the shade then his shadow would vanish, and
if he sat down and stayed still, there could be no more footsteps. it was really so easy. but that
which is easy is so difficult for the mind because mind always finds it easier to run, to fight,
because then there is something to do. if you say to the mind, 'don't do anything', that is the most
difficult thing. the mind will ask: give me a mantra at least, so that with closed eyes i can say:
aum, aum; ram, ram.... something to do, because how can we remain without doing anything,
without something to run after, chase?
mind is activity, and being is absolute inactivity. mind is running; being is sitting. the
periphery is moving; the centre is not moving. look at a bullock cart moving -- the wheel is
moving, but the centre around which the whole wheel moves is static, absolutely static, non-
moving. your being is eternally unmoving, and your periphery is continuously moving. this is the
point to remember in dervish dancing. when you do it, let the body become the periphery -- the
body moves, and you are eternally unmoving. become a wheel. the body becomes the wheel, the
periphery, and you are the centre. soon you will realise that although the body goes on moving
faster and faster and faster, inside you can feel that you are not moving; and the faster the body
moves the better, because then the contrast is created. suddenly, the body and you are separate.
but you move with the body continuously so there is no separation. go and sit. simply
sitting is enough, not doing anything. simply close your eyes and sit, and sit, and sit and allow
everything to settle. it will take time, because you have been unsettled for so many lives. you
have been trying to create all sorts of disturbances. it will take time, but only time. you need not
do anything; you simply look and sit, look and sit.... zen people call it zazen. zazen means just
sitting, not doing anything.
this is what chuang tzu says: he failed to realise that if he merely stepped into the shade, his
shadow would vanish, and if he sat down and stayed still, there would be no more footsteps.
there was no need to fight, and there was no need to escape. the only thing needed was just
to move into the shade and sit still. and this is to be done during your whole life. don't fight with
anything and don't try to escape from anything. let things take their own course. you simply close
your eyes and move inside to the centre where no sun ray has ever penetrated. there is no shadow.
and really, that is the meaning of the myth that gods have no shadows. not that there are gods
somewhere who have no shadows, but the god that is within you has no shadow because no
outside penetrates there. it cannot penetrate, it is always under the shade.
that shade chuang tzu calls 'tao', your innermost nature -- utterly innermost, absolutely
innermost.
so what is to be done? one, don't listen to the mind. it is a good tool for the outside but it is
absolutely a barrier for the inside. logic is good for people, it is not good for yourself. on the
contrary, faith is better, because faith is illogical. faith is dangerous in society because they will
cheat you. there logic is needed, doubt is needed. in tackling things, logic and doubt are needed.
science depends on doubt and religion depends on faith, shraddha. just sit, with a deep trust that
your inner nature will take over. it always takes over, you have only to wait, patience only is
needed. and whatsoever your mind says simply don't listen to it because mind says: drop it!
and mind will go on saying things because you have always listened to it, you have given it
so much significance. even where it is absolutely useless it will go on suggesting and advising.
i have heard that a bank was trying to decide if they should have computers and automatic
mechanisms installed in their headquarters. so an efficiency expert was called in to do some
research work: which people were needed, and which people were not needed. which could be
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disposed of.
the efficiency expert asked one clerk: what do you do here? the clerk said: nothing. then he
asked an executive: what do you do here? the executive said: nothing. triumphantly, very happy,
the efficiency expert turned to the directors and he said: i told you, there is much duplication. two
people doing nothing -- there is much duplication!
an efficiency expert is an efficiency expert, he uses logic, he has been trained. if two
persons are doing the same thing then there is duplication, and if two persons are not doing
anything then too there is duplication and one can be disposed of. one has to be retained to do
nothing.
listen to the mind for the outside world, don't listen to the mind for the inside -- simply put
it aside. there is no need to fight with it, because if you fight with it it may influence you. you
simply put it aside. that's what faith is. faith is not a fight with the mind. if you fight, then the
enemy impresses you, and remember... even friends don't have such an impact as enemies have. if
you fight with someone continuously, you will be influenced by them, because you will have to
use the same techniques to fight them. ultimately, enemies become similar. it is very difficult to
be aloof and detached from the enemy; the enemy influences you. and those who start fighting
with the mind become great philosophers. they may talk about anti mind, but their whole talk is
of the mind. they may say, 'be against the mind', but whatsoever they say is coming from the
mind even their enmity. and you have to remain with your enemy. and by and by enemies settle
terms, and they become the same.
it happened in the second world war. adolf hitler almost completely turned the whole world
nazi, fascist. even his enemies, those who were fighting against fascism, also became fascist; they
had to.
one interesting incident happened: adolf hitler was almost mad, and he wouldn't listen to
the military experts. he thought himself to be the greatest military genius ever born; so the whole
war was to be conducted according to his whims. that's why in the beginning he continued to win,
because the french generals, english generals, american generals and russian generals, could not
understand what was going to happen. they could have understood if the war was being run by
military generals -- they have the same minds. then they could have known what the next move
would be.
but here was a madman who didn't believe in any military training, who didn't believe in
any military tactics or strategy, who would simply decide. and what was his way of deciding? he
had astrologers to decide! and you may be surprised that when churchill came to know, he had to
appoint an astrologer. and churchill thought that this was foolish, because he was an army man! it
was foolish to decide how the war should be run by using astrologers! but if the enemy is doing it
what can you do? and the moment he appointed astrologers he started to win, because now they
were the same.
always remember, don't fight with the mind otherwise you will have to yield to the terms. if
you want to convince the mind, you have to be argumentative -- and that is the whole point. if
you have to convince the mind you have to use words -- that is the whole problem. simply put it
aside. this putting aside is shraddha. it is not against mind, it is beyond mind, it is simply putting
it aside.
just as when you go out, you use your shoes, and when you come in, you put them aside --
there is no fight, nothing. you don't say to the shoes, 'now i am going in and you are not needed
so i will put you aside', you simply put them aside, they are not needed.
just like this -- easy is right -- there is no fight. easy is right -- there is no struggle and
conflict. you simply put mind aside, move into the inner shade and sit, then no footsteps are
heard, and no shadow follows you, you become god-like. and you can become only that which
you are already. so i tell you, you are god-like, you are gods. don't settle for less than that.
and don't create any ideal, otherwise you will create conflict and condemnation and
escaping and fighting -- and your whole life becomes a riddle. life is a mystery, not a riddle. it has
to be lived, not solved.
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***** chapter 4 : fighting cock *****
14 october 1974 am in buddha hall
chi hsing tzu was a trainer of fighting cocks for king hsuan. he was training a fine bird. the
king kept asking if the bird were ready for combat.
'not yet', said the trainer. 'he is full of fire. he is ready to pick a fight with every other bird.
he is vain and confident of his own strength'.
after ten days he answered again: 'not yet. he flares up when he hears another bird crow'.
after ten more days: 'not yet. he still gets that angry look and ruffles his feathers'.
again ten days. the trainer said: 'now he is nearly ready. when another bird crows, his eye
does not even flicker. he stands immobile like a cock of wood. he is a mature fighter. other birds
will take one look at him and run'.
the human mind always ends with the ego -- that is its final growth. so first try to
understand how the human mind becomes the ego.
the ego is the barrier. the more you are, the less the divine can be; the less you are, the more
available you are for the divine. if you are totally empty the divine becomes the guest, and he can
become the guest only when you are totally empty, when not even a fragment of you is left. then
you become the host and he becomes the guest. when you are not, you are the host; when you are,
all your prayers are in vain, all your invitations false. when you are, you have not called him yet
because your call can only be authentic when you are not. it is a silent thirst of an empty being, a
silent prayer without any words of a mind which is no more, of an ego which is dissolved.
once it happened that mulla nasrudin came to me, very much disturbed, sad, perplexed, and
he said: i am in deep trouble. a problem has arisen. and i am not a blind believer, i am a rational
man. so i asked him: what is the problem? he said: just this morning i saw a mouse sitting on the
koran, the holy koran. so i am disturbed. if the koran cannot protect itself against an ordinary
mouse, how can it protect me? my whole faith is shattered, my whole being is troubled. now i
cannot believe in the koran any more. what should i do?
so i told him: this is the logical step. now you start believing in the mouse, because you
have seen with your own eyes that the mouse is stronger than the holy koran.
and, of course, strength is the only criterion for the mind, power is what mind is in search of
-- friedrich nietzsche is right.
i told mulla nasrudin: man is nothing but a will to power. and now you have seen with your
own eyes that a mouse is more powerful-than the holy koran.
he was convinced. of course there was no way to escape from logic so he started
worshipping the mouse. but soon he was in trouble because one day he saw a cat jump on the
mouse. but this time he didn't come to ask me; now he had the key in his own hand -- he started
to worship the cat. soon he was in trouble again. a dog chased the cat and the cat was trembling.
so he started to worship the dog. but then again he was in trouble. one day his wife beat the dog
to death. then he came again. he said: now this is too much. i can worship a mouse, a cat, a dog,
but not my own wife. but i told him: nasrudin, you are a rational man, and this is how reason
moves. you cannot go back, you have to accept it. so he said: then i will do one thing. i will take a
picture of her without anybody knowing and i will go inside my room, lock the door from the
inside, and worship her. but please don't tell her.
so he started to worship her in secrecy and privacy. things were going well. then one day
mulla nasrudin's wife came running to me, and she said: something has been wrong for many
days. we thought that he had gone a little crazy because he had been worshipping a mouse, then
he was worshipping a cat, then a dog, and for a few days he has been doing something secret
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inside his room. he locks it and allows nobody in. but today, just out of curiosity, i looked through
the keyhole, and it is too much to bear! i asked: what was he doing? she said: you come and see.
so i had to go, had to look through the keyhole! he was standing naked before a mirror
worshipping himself so i knocked on the door, and he came out and said: this is the logical
conclusion. this morning i got angry and beat my wife, and i thought: i am more powerful than
her. so now i am worshipping myself.
this is how mind goes on moving towards the ego -- the final goal is 'i'. and if you listen to
the mind this goal is bound to come sooner or later: you will have to worship yourself. and i am
not kidding. this is how the whole of humanity has come to worship. all gods have been thrown
aside, all the temples have become useless, and man worships himself.
how does it happen? if you listen to the mind it will convince you, by subtle arguments, that
you are the centre of the world, you are the most significant being in the world, you are the most
superior -- you are god. this egoistical attitude is bound to come, it is a logical, final step. and the
mind will raise doubts about everything but it will never raise any doubt about your ego.
whenever the mind feels that it has to surrender, it will raise doubts. it will say: what are you
doing? surrendering to a master? surrendering to a god? surrendering in a temple, or in a church?
surrendering in prayer and love? surrendering in sex? what are you doing? you are losing
yourself. be alert and control yourself, otherwise you will be lost.
whenever there is something where you can let go of yourself, the mind resists. that is why
the mind is against love -- because love is a surrendering. in love the ego cannot exist, that is why
the mind is against a master, a guru, because the ego has to be surrendered otherwise the master
cannot function. that is why the mind is against god, because if there is a god then you can never
be the most superior, then the ego will always remain inferior, then you can never be enthroned
upon the highest pedestal conceivable. you cannot allow god.
nietzsche said: it is impossible for me to allow there to be a god, because then what will
happen to me? then where am i? if god is, then i am nowhere, so i will choose myself, not god.
that is why he said: god is dead and man is now free, absolutely free. nietzsche set the trend for
this century, he was the prophet of this century. he is at the base of you all, whether you know
him or not; he is deep down in everybody who has been born in this century. within you god is
dead, only the ego is alive. and remember -- they cannot both exist together.
in the old testament there is a beautiful sentence. the sentence is: you cannot see god alive.
the meaning is the same. when you see god you have to die, you cannot see god alive. when you
die, only then can you see god because you are the barrier, you are the wall. ego or god, that is
how things are going to be, you cannot manage both. and if you try to manage both, you will
manage the ego and god will be dead -- within you. in existence, god cannot be dead, but within
you, god will be dead. he will not be there. you have pushed him out because you are too filled
with yourself. you are too much. and the ego is not porous; it has no space for anybody else. it is
very jealous, it is absolutely jealous. it will not allow anybody else to enter into the inner sanctum
of your being. it wants to be the superior-most ruler.
the mind is always against surrendering. that is why as the mind has become more
prominent, all dimensions of surrender have disappeared. this century suffers because this century
cannot surrender. this is the problem. this is the basis, the crux of the modern mind -- and you go
on asking: how can i love? the mind cannot love. the mind can go to war, that is easy, but the
mind cannot move into love, that is impossible. because in a war the mind can exist, it can
function well; but in love, mind has to surrender.
love means giving power to the other over yourself, and you are afraid. it means the other
becomes so important, so much more important than you that if a crisis comes you would
sacrifice yourself for your lover. the lover is enthroned -- you are just a servant, you are just a
shadow. this is difficult for the mind. that is why love is not possible and even sex becomes
impossible. because even in sex a moment comes when you have to lose yourself -- only then can
the orgasm happen, only then can the whole body be filled with a new energy, with new
vibrations, with bio-electricity. it can become a vibrant, radiant flow -- you lose yourself. but
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even that is not possible.
ejaculation is not orgasm, it is just the physical part of it. orgasm is psychic, it is spiritual.
ejaculation is just futile, it can relieve the body, that's all. it works as a safety valve: when there is
too much energy you can release it through ejaculation, but that is not the real thing. the real thing
is when you come to a peak of vibrancy, you come to a peak of ecstasy, and from that peak
everything relaxes, your whole being relaxes. first the whole being vibrates with a new music --
it is in tune with the cosmos, the ego is not there, you are just energy; there is nobody inside, just
energy moving like a river in flood -- and then the flood goes, the river relaxes, and you are in
tune with the whole cosmos. then it is orgasm. orgasm is an inner phenomenon.
but orgasm has become impossible and because of the lack of orgasm ninety per cent of the
people are neurotic in a subtle way. this is because you have lost the easiest approach to the
divine. you have lost the natural possibility of being one, even for moments, with the whole. and
the whole rejuvenates, the whole gives you life and energy, the whole refreshes you. and the old
is destroyed by the orgasm, your whole energy becomes new, fresh and young. otherwise you go
on becoming dull and dead. but this has become impossible because of the ego. the problem is the
same, whether it is in the dimension of sex, or of love, or of prayer, or of meditation -- the
problem is the same. you have to surrender, and the ego cannot surrender, it can only fight.
why is the ego always ready to fight? every moment you are ready to jump upon someone,
to find an excuse and fight, argue, and be angry. why is the ego always in search of a fight?
because fight is the fuel: through fight it feels powerful; through fight it exists. ego is the deepest
violence and if you want to strengthen the ego you have to go on fighting continuously. for
twenty-four hours a day you have to fight with something or other. but an enemy must be there so
that you can have the challenge, the conflict, and you can maintain the ego. ego needs constant
war. why? firstly, through war it accumulates energy. secondly, ego is always afraid, that is why it
is always ready to fight -- there is fear. ego can never be fearless, never. why? because it is a false
thing, it is not natural, it is not part of the tao. it is an artificial human device, you have to manage
it and maintain it continuously. if for even a single moment you don't manage it it will disappear
-- that is the fear. so you are constantly alert.
if for even twenty-four hours you live an egoless existence, you will be surprised, amazed,
mystified. what happened to that ego which you have been carrying for so many lives? even
within twenty-four hours it will simply disappear because it needs a constant refueling, again and
again. it is not a natural phenomenon, it has no perpetual energy in it.
existence goes on perpetually, eternally; it has something eternal, non-exhausting. this tree
may die, but immediately another tree will replace it; the energy moves into another. your body
may fall, but the energy moves into another body. you have deep down, like everything else in
existence, some eternal energy which cannot be exhausted. you need fuel for the body. if you
don't eat and don't drink you will die. if you don't eat, then within three months you will die; if
you don't drink, within three weeks you will die; if you don't breathe, within three minutes you
will die. constant fuel is needed for the body because the body is not an eternal phenomenon.
but for consciousness no fuel is needed. when this body dies your consciousness moves into
another womb. consciousness is perpetual movement. it is non ending energy -- no beginning, no
end. it never started, and it will never end. that is why when you become one with consciousness
there is no fear. fear disappears only when you have hit upon the eternal source, the immortal,
which cannot die -- the deathless.
and the ego is very fragile; every moment it is on the verge of dying. and anybody can kill
it, just a gesture can kill it, just a look. somebody looks at you, and the ego is troubled. that man
seems to be an enemy. a gesture of enmity and you feel a trembling because the ego is fragile. it
is a false, artificial thing, it has to be maintained. that is why there is so much fear -- and amidst
this fear, this oceanic fear, you manage to create a few islands of bravery. otherwise it would be
too difficult.
you think yourself brave, even a coward, the most cowardly man, thinks himself brave,
because that too is a very complex problem. the ego is afraid, fearful, inside, because death can
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happen at any moment. in love, death can happen; in prayer, death can happen to the ego, in any
deep relationship the ego will have to die. even if you look at a rose without thinking, the ego will
have to die. even a rose can kill it; it is so fragile, just flimsy, a dream-like thing -- nothing
substantial about it. so afraid, and deep down continuously thinking of death, still you go on
thinking yourself to be brave. that is how this bravery, this fearlessness, this 'i am not a coward',
helps your ego. if you come to know that the ego is a coward, that 'i am a coward', if you really
realise and become aware that this ego is fear and nothing else, you will not maintain it. you will
drop it. why carry a disease? but the disease is hidden and you think it is not a disease, rather, it is
the only health.
it happened that mulla nasrudin got married. he went to the hills for his honeymoon. the
very first night, at midnight, somebody knocked on the door nasrudin got up and opened the door.
there was a man with a pistol in his hand, a robber. he came in. but he forgot about robbery when
he saw mulla nasrudin's wife, a beautiful young girl. he forgot all about robbery. and he said to
mulla nasrudin: you stand in that corner. then he drew a circle around him, and told him: don't
step out of it -- one step and you are no more. then he kissed nasrudin's wife and made love to
her.
when he had gone, the wife said: what sort of man are you? standing there in the circle and
watching another man make love to your wife nasrudin said: i am not a coward! and triumphantly
he said: whenever the man turned his back towards me i would step out of the circle, and not just
once, thrice!
this is how the ego goes on maintaining itself, just stepping out of the circle. when the back
is turned, when death is not looking at you, then you step. and not only once, thrice! and you feel
good. and i tell you that everybody is standing in a corner with a circle around him. you stand
inside the circle and sometimes you step out just to feel that you are not a coward. but the ego is a
coward, it cannot be otherwise. you cannot see a fearless man with an ego, it is impossible, it is
not in the way of nature.
why is it impossible? how can the ego be fearless? it cannot be eternal, it cannot be
immortal, death is bound to happen. the ego is a created phenomenon, created by you; it is going
to disappear. and when death is there, a certainty, how can you be fearless? sometimes you may
step out of the circle, that is all. but with ego there can be no fearlessness. so remember three
words: one is 'coward', another is 'brave', and the third is 'fearlessness'. cowardice is part of the
ego, the deeper part, the real thing, and bravery is stepping out of the circle thrice. it is also part
of the cowardice but hidden, decorated.it is a wound with flowers upon it, a wound hidden by
flowers. bravery is nothing else but cowardice decorated and refined; inside every brave man you
will find a coward. even your napoleons, hitlers and alexanders are cowards. their bravery is
nothing but stepping out of the circle thrice -- inside you will find the same trembling coward.
just to hide that coward, you project bravery -- bravery is a trick. and now psychologists also
know about it.
religion has always been aware that to hide something you project the opposite. if you are a
fool, you will try to project some wisdom around you to hide the fact. if you are ugly then you
will beautify your body, your face, your hair, to somehow hide the fact that you are ugly. with
clothes and ornaments you will try to hide it. if you are inferior inside, you will project
superiority, just to show others that i am not an inferior. if you feel a 'nobodiness' -- and
everybody feels it because with the ego, everybody is a nobody -- then you will try to project, and
enforce and emphasize that you are somebody.
cowardice and bravery are two aspects of the same coin: fear is in both, they are two faces
of fear. one is simple and direct, another is cunning and hidden -- a brave man is a cunning
coward.
i have heard, once it happened that a soldier fighting on the front got very scared, so he
started to run towards the rear. an officer stopped him and asked: what are you doing? where are
you going? the fight is on! are you a coward? but the man was so scared, he didn't bother to
answer, he continued running. the officer followed him, got hold of him and said: where are you
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running? why are you not answering? do you know who i am? i am your general! the soldier said:
my god, am i that far back?
your generals, your leaders, they are always at the back. they never get killed, they are
never in trouble, they are perfect cowards posing that they are the most brave. others die for them
and they remain at the back. your napoleons, your hitlers, your alexanders are all cowards
projecting, creating a phenomenon that is just the opposite of their inner feeling. this has to be
remembered, only then can you remember a third possibility, that is, fearlessness. a man who is
fearless is neither a coward nor brave, he is neither -- he cannot be because he is simply fearless.
a mahavir, a buddha, a chuang tzu, a jesus, they are not brave men, not at all, because they are not
cowards. you can be brave only if you are a coward! you can step out of the circle thrice only if
you are standing in the circle, otherwise how can you step out of it? if you never agreed to stand
in the circle how can you step out thrice and show your bravery?
a fearless man is one who has come to know the deathless within himself, one who has
come to understand the inner, the immortal, the innermost eternal. then there is no fear, and then
there is no bravery either, because bravery is just a cover-up. this man is neither a fool nor is he
wise, because wisdom is simply nothing but a cover-up. and this man is not divided into
opposites, this man is a unity, he is one, he is a unique phenomenon, that is why you cannot
define him. it is impossible to define a buddha. how will you define him? will you call him a
coward? you cannot! will you call him brave? you cannot! will you call him a fool? you cannot!
will you call him wise? no! because wisdom is the opposite of foolishness and bravery is the
opposite of cowardice.
what will you call a buddha? whatsoever you call a buddha will be wrong. you have to be
simply silent before a buddha. will you call him a sinner or a saint? no, he is neither. how can you
be a saint without sin inside? sainthood is nothing but a decoration, a cover-up. this is the
problem. whenever a buddha appears, this is the problem: we cannot define him, we cannot put
him into any category. you cannot label him, there is no way you can put him anywhere. either he
belongs to everywhere or he belongs to nowhere. he transcends all categories. pigeon holes are
not for him. the whole language drops before a buddha, the mind becomes silent. you cannot say
anything which can be relevant. he is fearless, he is mindless, you cannot call him a fool or a wise
man because the mind is needed for both.
and now enter this beautiful story of chuang tzu, it is one of his most beautiful parables.
chi hsing tzu was a trainer of fighting cocks for king hsuan. he was training a fine bird. the
king kept asking if the bird were ready for combat.
this man, chi hsing, was not only a trainer, he was a man of tao. in china, in japan, in the far
east, they have used all sorts of things as stepping boards for meditation. all sorts of things:
archery, painting, swordsmanship, even training cocks and birds to fight. name any dimension of
life and they have used it for an inner training. this man, chi hsing, was asked by the emperor to
train a cock for him. the king was interested in combat, in competition, and of course he was also
interested in his cock winning the competition.
even through cocks our egos fight. we use everything for the ego, even games become
adulterated by it. then you are not interested in the game, you are only interested in how to win it
-- that is the difference between play and a game. in play you are interested in the play itself --
children's play. then play is beautiful, and if your whole life can become a play it will become a
beautiful thing. in a game you are not interested in the play itself, you are interested in the end
result. you are interested in how to win, and when you are interested in how to win, you have
destroyed the game. now it is no longer play, it has become a business.
from the very first, remember that this man, chi hsing, had one type of interest in training
the cock, and the king had another: he was interested in combat, and the trainer was interested in
something else.
chi hsing was training a fine bird. the king kept asking if the bird was ready for combat. the
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trainer said: not yet, he is full of fire. look... the king would have said: if he is full of fire, that is
what we need because when you fight with somebody and you are full of fire, there is more
possibility of winning. the king must have been puzzled. what type of trainer was this man? he
says: not yet, because he is still full of fire. he is ready to pick a fight with every other bird, he is
constantly ready to fight -- that means he is afraid and he is not ready.
when you are afraid, how can you be ready to fight? look at the different minds: the logic of
the mind will say that if you are full of fire and ready to fight with everybody, then you can
become a great warrior -- you are already. why are you waiting? what are you waiting for? if the
fire is ready, fight! because if you wait too long the fire may go; if you wait too long the energy
may subside.
but with a no-mind it is absolutely different, the gestalt is different. the man of no-mind
says: because he is still ready to fight at every moment, he is not yet ready. why? because when
you are ready to fight at every moment you are a coward. fight is a cover-up. you want to prove
that you are a brave man. the very wanting, the very desire to prove, means that you are not. a
man who is really wise will never in any way be searching for opportunities to prove that he is
wise. a fool is always in search of a way to prove that he is wise. a man who is really in love, who
has become love, will not try to prove that he is in love.
when you are not in love you try to prove in many, many ways that you are in love. you
bring presents, you go on talking about love, but all your efforts say just the opposite. if you
really love a person you will not even mention the fact that you love them. what is the need? if
the other cannot understand your love without words, the love is not worth anything. if you have
to say it, it means that something is false.
ask a dale carnegie and he will say that even if you don't feel it, every morning tell your
wife again and again that you love her. whenever you have an opportunity in the day don't forget
to repeat it. when you go to sleep, repeat it again, make it a mantra. and he is right -- as you are,
he is right -- because your wife will depend on words. you also depend on words. that is why
whenever two people fall in love, in the beginning they talk so much about love. they are so
poetic, and because they are courting each other, there is much romance and dreaming. by and by
it subsides, because you cannot continue the same thing again and again. it looks foolish. and the
moment it starts looking foolish, they start feeling that something has gone wrong. now there is
no love because the love depended only on words. in the very beginning it was not there, you
talked about it, but it was not there. your talk was a cover-up.
remember this word 'cover-up'. in your whole life you are doing that in every dimension
and dale carnegie looks right, he appeals. his books are being sold all over the world, millions of
copies, second only to the bible. but i tell you, beware of dale carnegies because they are the
persons who are making you more and more false. then you cannot be authentic. there is no need
to say: love, i love you. let your whole being say it. if you love, it will say it, words are not
needed at all. the way that you say it will express it; the way that you move will express it; the
way that you look will express it. your whole being will express it.
love is such a vital phenomenon that you cannot hide it. has anybody ever been capable of
hiding his love? nobody can hide it; it is such a fire inside. it glows. whenever somebody falls in
love you can see from his face, from his eyes, that he is no longer the same person -- something
has transformed him. a fire has happened, a new fragrance has come into his being. he walks with
a dancing step; he talks and his very talk has a poetic flavour to it. and not only with his beloved
-- when you are in love your whole being is transformed. even talking to a stranger on the street,
you are different. and if the stranger has known love in his life he knows that this man is in love.
you cannot hide love, it is almost impossible. nobody has ever been successful in hiding love.
but when it is not, then you have to project it, then you have to pretend it.
a small boy was visiting a zoo and there was a deer park, full of deer. he asked the keeper:
what are these animals called? the keeper replied: the same thing as your mother calls your father
in the morning, when they get up. the boy said: don't tell me that these are skunks!
something goes sour, something becomes like a wound when it is false, something becomes
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ugly. there is no ugliness except falseness. but you hide it with the opposite.
'not yet,' said the trainer. 'he is full of fire'. that shows that he is afraid, otherwise why is he
full of fire? to whom are you showing your fire? what is the need? fear inside, fire outside, that is
the projection. he is ready to pick a fight with every other bird, unnecessarily. whosoever comes
on his path, he is ready. he is vain and confident of his own strength. not yet. he is not ready.
when you think you are confident of your strength, remember well, you are hiding
something from yourself. what do you mean when you say: i am confident? if you are really
confident the word is meaningless. you are not confident, you are pretending. and not only to
others, you are repeating to yourself: i am confident. you are creating an auto-hypnosis. if you
repeat it long enough you may start feeling it but that feeling will have no inner energy in it.
everybody keeps on repeating to himself: i am confident. why? what are you hiding? if this
confidence that you talk about is really there then there is no need to say anything about it. a
really confident man is not even aware of it. this has to be understood -- whenever something is
false you are aware of it, self-conscious. when something is real, you simply forget it. do you
remember that you are breathing? if something goes wrong, yes. if it is hard and there is
something wrong with your lungs and you have a cold or asthma, then you remember that you are
breathing. but when everything goes okay, you are not conscious. when the shoe fits, the foot is
forgotten. when you are really confident, confidence is forgotten.
people come to me and they say that they have absolute confidence in me. what is this
absolute? what are you covering up? is confidence not enough? what is absolute confidence? it is
not absolute, that is why you say it. you say: i love you totally. what is this total? have you ever
heard about any love which is not total? love is total. why do you repeat the same word again?
inside you know it is not total, and if you don't say it who else will say it? nobody can know it
without your saying because if it was total, everybody would know.
a total love is a transfiguration; a total love is a death and a new life; a total love needs
nobody to say anything about it.
i have heard about a great connoisseur, he was a wine taster. a friend invited him to his
house because he had some very, very old valuable wines and he wanted to show this man his
collection. he wanted this man's appreciation. he gave him one of his most valuable wines. the
man tasted it but remained silent. he didn't say anything, not even that it was good. the friend felt
hurt. then he gave him a very rough, ordinary wine. he tasted it and said: very, very good, fine!
the friend was puzzled, he said: i am puzzled, i gave you one of the rarest, most valuable wines,
and you remained silent, yet to this ordinary, not even costly, rough wine you say: very, very
good! the connoisseur said: for the first, nobody is required to say anything. it speaks for itself.
but for the second, somebody is needed to praise it otherwise it will feel hurt!
when you say absolute confidence you know that it is not absolute; that is why you are
saying it although you may not be conscious of it. be conscious and use words carefully.
'not yet,' said the trainer. he is full of fire. he is ready to pick a fight with every other bird.
he is vain and confident of his own strength'.
and you can observe this in your own life also. this is happening all around. you are ready
to fight with everybody -- just waiting for the opportunity, just for some excuse. someone treads
on your toe and a fight starts. why are you so ready? because you are troubled inside, you know
you are nobody. so if someone treads on your toe, immediately you say: do you know who i am ?
you yourself don't know.
after ten days, he answered again: 'not yet. he flares up when he hears another bird crow'.
the emperor went on insisting because the day for the competition was coming nearer and
nearer and the emperor's cock must win. and this man went on delaying -- and the excuses that he
was giving looked just absurd
whenever there is a man of tao his statements will look absurd. they are, because they don't
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fit in with your mind. he says again after ten days: 'not yet. he flares up when he hears another
bird crow'. he is still immature, childish. this is not the way of a warrior, this is the way of a
coward. this is not the way of a fearless man, a fearless cock, no! it is not the way of those who
ate fearless.
when anybody -- when any bird is crowing -- why do you feel that it is meant for you? why
do you feel that the challenge is for you? why do you take the whole world as your enemy? if you
take the whole world as your enemy it means that somewhere, deep down, you have not hit upon
the source. otherwise the whole world would be felt as friendly, friendliness would be the main
note. if enemies happen that would be an exception. now enmity is the main note and if friends
happen that is an exception. and you can never know, and you can never even believe in a friend,
because you know enmity so much.
it happened that mulla nasrudin was made a justice of the peace. it has to be done because
there are mischievous people. if they are very, very mischievous, you make them governors. if
they are even more mischievous, you send them abroad as ambassadors. if they are just ordinarily
mischievous, local, then you make them justices of the peace. they have to be given something to
do so that they don't make too much mischief.
mulla nasrudin is a mischievous person, but not very big; if you will allow me to say so, a
very small v.i.p.not a big gun, just a local gun. so they make him a j.p. -- justice of the peace. he
changed his drawing room into a court, engaged a clerk and a watchman, got up in the early
morning, and waited and waited but nobody turned up. by the evening he was very depressed and
he said to the clerk: not a single case! no murder, no robbery, no crime committed in the town. if
things continue in this way then it will be a very boring job. i was very excited, but not even a
traffic offence, nothing has turned up. said the clerk: don't be so depressed, mulla, just trust in
human nature. something is bound to happen sooner or later. i still have got enough trust in
human nature.
what type of human nature is this clerk talking about? he says that he still has enough trust,
something is bound to happen. just you wait, things will happen.
your courts, your judges, your governments depend on you, on your nature. this whole
nonsense is run because of you, and at the base it is because you are always ready to fight. if the
society really becomes more and more natural, the government will disappear. it is a disease. the
courts will disappear, they are not good signs. the policeman is there because the criminal is
there, and the whole structure exists just because of one thing -- because you are always ready to
fight, to flare up. because of your ego the government exists, the court exists, the magistrate
exists. if ego is dropped the whole of politics disappears. all politics exist because of the ego.
said he: 'not yet. he flares up when he hears another bird crow'.
after ten more days: 'not yet. he still gets that angry look and ruffles his feathers'. he is
getting silent, growing, becoming more and more mature, but not yet. as yet, he still gets that
angry look and ruffles his feathers. deep down in the unconscious he is still ready to fight. on the
surface he is getting calm and quiet but if a cock passes he still gets that angry look. now it is not
conscious, now it is unconscious, but he is growing, moving. now the fight has dropped from his
conscious mind but from the unconscious it has not dropped, not yet.
again ten days: the trainer said: 'now he is nearly ready'. not yet perfectly ready, but nearly
ready.'when another bird crows, his eye does not even flicker. he stands immobile like a cock of
wood. he is a mature fighter. other birds will take one look at him and run'. there is no need for
him to fight. when the fighter is mature, there is no need to fight. when the warrior is really there,
fearless, what is the need to fight? his very presence will be enough other birds will run. and this
happened. this bird was put into combat, he just stood there. the other birds came with much
bravery, they stepped out of the circle, they were filled with ego, arrogant, and vain -- but then
they looked at this bird. this bird looked abnormal, not of this world at all. he was standing just
like a buddha. they tried to make him angry but not even his eyes would flicker. they jumped,
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they crowed, but to no effect. then they trembled. this bird is not natural, this bird is a stranger, he
does not belong to us.
they simply got the message -- that this bird was neither a cowardly nor a brave bird. he
was simply fearless and whenever there is a fearless being the other has to run. the training is the
same for a zen warrior, for a samurai -- the same. he has to fight but with no anger. this seems
difficult, because you even love with anger, yet he has to fight without anger.
there is a sufi story. it happened in the life of omar -- a great mohammedan khalipha. he
was fighting with an enemy for thirty years. the enemy was very strong and the fight continued --
a life-time of war. in the end, it happened one day that the opportunity came. the enemy fell off
his horse and omar jumped on him with his spear. in just one second the spear would have
pierced the heart of the man and everything would have been finished. but in that small gap the
enemy did one thing: he spat on omar's face -- and the spear stopped. omar touched his face, got
up and told the enemy: tomorrow we start again. the enemy was puzzled. he said. what is the
matter? i have been waiting for this for thirty years, and you have been waiting for this for thirty
years. i have been waiting hoping that someday or other i would be on your chest with my spear
and the thing would be finished. that opportunity never came to me, but it came your way. you
could have finished me in a single moment. what is the matter with you? said omar: this has been
not an ordinary war. i have taken a vow, a sufi vow, that i will fight without anger. for thirty
years, i was fighting without anger. but just for a moment anger came. when you spat, just for a
moment i felt angry and it became personal. i wanted to kill you, the ego came in. up to now for
thirty years that was not a problem at all, we were fighting for a cause. you were not my enemy, it
was not personal in any way. i was not in any way interested in killing you; i just wanted the
cause to win. but just now, for a moment, i forgot about the cause. you were my enemy and i
wanted to kill you. that is why i cannot kill you. so, tomorrow we start again.
but the war never started again because the enemy became a friend. he said: now teach me.
be my master and let me be your disciple. i would also like to fight without anger.
the whole secret is to fight without the ego, and if you can fight without the ego then you
will be capable of doing everything without the ego. because fight is the climax of the ego. if you
can do that then you can do everything. right now you cannot even love without ego.
so this is the training of a samurai, of a zen warrior -- to fight without the ego just like this
cock. now he is nearly ready. but remember the words, 'nearly ready'. why not perfect? because
the tao says the perfect cannot exist in this world, only the nearly perfect. the moment you are
perfect you disappear. perfection cannot exist in matter, in the material. matter itself gives a little
imperfection of its own. you cannot be in the body and be perfect, a little will always be missing
-- and that little which is missing is the link. that is why you can be in the body. once you are
perfect you disappear. you die, but a perfect man never dies, he simply disappears. you depart,
but a perfect man disappears. departure means that arrival will happen immediately, because
departure is just a part, the beginning of arrival. arrival is the beginning of departure. you depart
from this world to arrive again. a perfect man simply disappears because he is so perfect that
matter cannot hold him; he is so perfect that the body cannot contain him; he is so perfect that in
this imperfect world he cannot have any form. he becomes formless. that is why the trainer said:
how he is nearly ready. and you cannot imagine how he can be any more ready. this seems to be
the last thing.
when another bird crows, his eye does not even flicker. -- what more perfection? he stands
immobile like a cock of wood. -- what further perfection is possible? he is a mature fighter. other
birds will take one look at him and run.
what further perfection is possible? it is possible. because he may be standing immobile,
just like a cock of wood; his eyes may be static, with not even a flicker; the other birds may run
and he may win the combat; but he still is. that is why he is not perfect. he still is.
and everything that he is doing is being done through effort. that is why he is imperfect. he
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has been trained to do this and now he is ready. he will perform, but deep inside he is the old
cock. a slight tremor will be there. it cannot be detected, nobody can detect it, from the outside he
is a perfect saint, but inside he is still the old cock, deep down at the centre he is still the same.
and this is the problem. you can practise religion and you can practise it so much that you become
almost perfect. but almost perfect is still imperfect and you have to be absolutely perfect. what is
absolute perfection? when the training, the effort, is dropped. easy is right, and this cock is still
with effort. he is doing it. he is immobile, but deep down it is not a non doing. he is doing it. he
has been trained, disciplined.
religion is not a discipline, it is not something to practise. it is something to flow into, to let
go in. it is something not to be forced. you are not to begin from the outside and force it, you have
to help it from the inside and let it flow, overflow, to the outside. it should be spontaneous.
so what is to be done? if you wait for the spontaneous it doesn't seem to come. if you
practise you may become just like this cock; good for the combat, good for the other, but for
yourself you remain the old. that is what has happened to many so-called saints. you go to them --
their saintliness is still with effort. they are maintaining it. and whenever you maintain something
it is not authentic, because the against, the opposite, is still lying there somewhere in the
unconscious. it can uncoil at any moment -- and if you relax it will uncoil.
once it happened that a sufi was brought to me. for thirty years he had been practising and
he had really practised, there was no doubt about it. he was almost perfect, just like this cock. he
had many disciples and they told me that wherever he looks, in the trees, in the rocks, in the stars,
he sees allah -- the divine everywhere.
the sufi came to stay with me for three days.
he chanted continuously -- the sufis call it gigra -- the name of allah. even when taking his
bath he would go on chanting. i asked him: why? if you are now able to see allah everywhere
why go on chanting his name? what are you practising for? if allah is everywhere and the divine
is everywhere, to whom are you calling? and who is this chanter inside? drop it! for the three
days that you are here with me drop all your practice. he could see the point, he was a humble
man. he could see the point that if you are still practising then it has not been achieved.
he said: i have absolute confidence that it has been achieved. so i said: then you drop it. the
moment he said 'absolute confidence' it was clear that he would be in difficulty if he dropped it.
he dropped it, he had to, and for three days i watched him. on the third day, at four o'clock in the
morning, he came running into my room, started shaking me and said: what have you done?
everything is lost! i cannot see god now; things have started to appear again. a tree is a tree, a
stone is a stone. what have you done? you have killed me. you have destroyed my thirty years'
effort. you are not a friend, you are an enemy.
but i told him: be a little more silent and sit by my side, and let us see what has happened. i
am not your enemy. because even if you continue this practice for thirty lives, nothing is going to
happen. you will always be almost ready. any time you stop this practice, the old will be back. it
has not disappeared, it is only hiding, and you are pushing it in. your practice is nothing but
pushing it in. you stop the practice and it uncoils, it is like a spring. you go on pushing it and you
think everything is okay; you take your hand off and the spring opens and uncoils and everything
is back as it was.
so don't be angry and don't feel at a loss, this is a great realisation. now don't practise, just
look at the tree! you need not project god into it. this is the difference between an authentic and
an inauthentic religious man. look at the tree, don't impose god on it. if you say it is god and go
on repeating it you will be almost at the point where it will start looking like god, but that god is
false. you have imposed it, it is a projection. look at the tree and be silent. no need to project your
god on the tree, the tree is god enough. it doesn't need your god to be imposed on it, you just be
silent with the tree, and by and by, as you become more and more silent, by and by you will see
that the tree is transforming with your silence. and one day you will realise that everything is
divine but nobody can take that divineness away from you. it is not a practised thing, it has
happened. the real happens not through words but through silence.
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and this trainer said that now he was nearly ready, because he had practised, had been
forced. this is how many so-called saints are 'completely' ready, trained. they are good for
demonstration, but deep down good for nothing. a real sage is one who lives spontaneously. all
his experience is without any projection of the mind.
so what is to be done? in the beginning you will have to practise, otherwise the spontaneous
may not come. and you have forced it to such hidden depths, it may not bubble up, it may not pop
up into your consciousness. so what is to be done? practise first, and practise so totally that you
also come to the point where i can say to you: now you are nearly ready. then the next step is to
drop all practice, and just watch what is happening. if you drop the practice, then everything old
will start coming again. now just be a witness and watch it. if you can watch, it will exhaust itself
-- no need to do anything.
your practice is just to push the coil to the very end -- the spring to the very end. what
happens? you try it with a spring, you push it to the very end and then let it go. it will not only
uncoil, it will jump. this happens if you practise with your whole being as much as possible -- you
can never be really whole, but as much as possible.
your mind, just like a spring, is pushed against a wall and you go on pushing and pushing
and pushing. all these meditations that i tell you to do are just pushing the mind to the wall, to the
very end. and the moment i see that now there is no more going ahead, the spring cannot be
pushed any more, any further, you are almost ready, i will say: drop! the spring will not only
uncoil, it will jump out of you. and once the mind jumps out of you, you are freed from it. then no
practise is needed -- then there is just moment to moment living, celebrating; then moment-to-
moment thanksgiving; then moment to moment bliss and ecstasy.
***** chapter 5 : monkey mountain *****
15 october 1974 am in buddha hall
the prince of wu took a boat to monkey mountain. as soon as the monkeys saw him they all
fled in panic and hid in the treetops.
one monkey, however, remained, completely unconcerned, swinging from branch to branch
-- an extraordinary display.
the prince shot an arrow at the monkey, but the monkey dexterously caught the arrow in
mid-flight.
at this the prince ordered his attendants to make a concerted attack. in an instant the
monkey was shot full of arrows and fell dead.
then the prince turned,to his companion yen pu'i: 'you see what happened? this animal
advertised his cleverness. he trusted in his own skill. he thought no one could touch him.
remember that! do not rely on distinction and talent when you deal with men!'
when they returned home, yen pu'i became a disciple of a sage to get rid of everything that
made him outstanding. he renounced every pleasure. he learned to hide every distinction.
soon no one in the kingdom knew what to make of him. thus they held him in awe.
this story carries one of the most secret keys of tao. tao says that whatsoever is beautiful in
you, hide it, never act it out; whatsoever is truthful in you, valuable, hide it, because whenever a
truth is hidden in the heart, it grows like a seed hidden in the earth. don't throw it out. if you
throw a seed on the street for everybody to see, it will die, and die to no purpose. it will simply
die, there will be no rebirth.
treat all that is beautiful, good and true, just like a seed. give it some soil, a hidden place in
the heart, don't display it. but just the opposite is done by everybody: whatsoever is wrong, you
hide it, you don't want it to be known by others. whatsoever is ugly you hide and whatsoever is
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beautiful, even if it is not, you try to advertise it, you magnify it, you display it. hence the misery
-- because the ugly grows and the beautiful is lost. the untrue grows, it becomes a seed, and the
truth is thrown away.
the precious is thrown and the rubbish grows; you become like weeds. no flower comes to
your life because you have never done the right thing -- hidden the seed of the flower within. this
opposite is the path, and i say this is one of the most secret keys of tao.
a man of tao remains ordinary, absolutely ordinary. nobody knows who he is, nobody
knows what he carries within him, what treasure. he never advertises, he never tries to display.
but why do we advertise? because of the ego. you are not satisfied with yourself, you are satisfied
only when others appreciate you. kohinoor is not enough. you may have a valuable stone, but it is
not enough; others must appreciate it. others' opinion is more valuable -- not your being. you look
into others' eyes as if they are mirrors and if they appreciate you, applaud you, you feel good.
ego is a false phenomenon. it is the accumulation of others' opinions, it is not a knowledge
of the self. this self, the so-called self which is really the ego, is nothing but the accumulation of
reflections -- and then there is always fear. others may change their mind, you are always
dependent on them. if they say you are good you have to follow their rules to remain good, you
have to follow them to remain good in their eyes, because once they change their opinion you
will no longer be good. you have no direct approach to your being, it is via others. so you not
only advertise, you magnify, you falsify. you may have a little truth, a little beauty, but you
magnify it and it becomes ridiculous.
i remember -- and i will never forget it -- the first time mulla nasrudin was introduced to
me. a mutual friend introduced us. the friend said, among other things, that mulla nasrudin was a
great writer. and he smiled knowingly. so i asked mulla nasrudin: what have you written? he said:
i have just finished hamlet. i couldn't believe my ears, so i asked him again: have you ever heard
of a guy known as william shakespeare? mulla nasrudin said: this is strange, because before,
when i wrote macbeth, somebody asked the same thing. and he asked: who is this man william
shakespeare? it seems that he keeps on copying me. whatsoever i write, he also writes.
you think that everybody is copying you and the reality is that you go on copying
everybody else. you are a carbon copy, you are not a real person, because a real person never
needs any display.
i have heard that it happened once at a hill station, on the lawn of a big hotel, that three
elderly women were playing cards. a fourth approached and she asked if she could join them.
they said: of course, you are welcome, but there are a few rules. and they handed her a printed
card, with four rules on it. the first was, never talk about mink coats, because we all have them.
second, never talk about your grandchildren, because we are all grandmothers. third, never talk
about jewelry, because we all have precious jewelry purchased from the best of places, and
fourthly, never talk about sex -- what was, was!
but everybody wants to talk about himself, his mink coats, his jewelry, his children, his sex.
and everybody bores everybody else. and if you tolerate bores, you tolerate them only because it
is a mutual understanding: if he is boring you he will allow himself to be bored by you. you are
just waiting -- when he stops his display, you can start your own. and the whole of life becomes a
false, a continued display. what do you achieve through it? just a false feeling that you are
important, extraordinary.
how can one become extraordinary by having mink coats? how can one become
extraordinary by owning valuable jewelry? how can one become extraordinary by doing this or
that? extraordinariness is not concerned with what you do, it is concerned with what you are. and
you are already extraordinary, everyone is unique, there is no need to prove it. if you try to prove
it, you will just prove the opposite. if something is already the case, how can you prove it? if you
try to prove it you simply show that you are not aware of the uniqueness that has already
happened to you.
so if you want to prove something it shows that you are doubtful about it. you want to
destroy your doubt through others' eyes, through their opinions. you are not really convinced of
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your beautiful person, you would like others to say that you are beautiful.
in a small village it was the custom of the village priest that whenever he married
somebody he would kiss the bride. it was an old tradition. one woman who was going to be
married was very concerned. she thought herself very beautiful, as every woman does. it is
womanly, it is nothing new. really, every woman thinks so -- even the ugliest. she thought herself
very beautiful and she was very concerned and worried. she said again and again to the would-be
husband, to the groom: go and tell the priest that i don't want to be kissed after the marriage.
just before the marriage, she again asked the groom: have you been to the priest and told
him? the groom very sadly said: yes. the bride asked: why are you so sad? the groom said: i told
the priest and he was very happy. he said: 'in that case i will charge only half the usual fee.'
you may go on thinking yourself a beautiful person but nobody thinks that way about you
because everybody is concerned with his own beauty, not with yours. and if anybody nods and
says, 'yes, you are beautiful', he or she is just waiting for you to nod about his or her beauty. it is a
mutual bargain: you fulfill my ego, i fulfill yours. i know well that you are not beautiful, you
know well that i am not beautiful, but i fulfill your ego, so you fulfill mine.
and everybody seems to have such a need to feel unique. that means you have not come
upon your own being which is unique without any need of proof. proofs are needed only for lies
-- remember. that is why you cannot prove god -- because he is the ultimate truth. proofs are
needed only for lies, truth needs no proof; it is -- simply it is.
and i tell you that you are unique, extraordinary. don't try to be so, it is ridiculous, you
simply become a laughing stock and everybody smiles when you turn your back. if you are not
convinced about your uniqueness who is going to be convinced about it? conviction is beyond
proof. and how does it come? it comes through self knowledge.
so there are two ways; knowledge -- direct, knowing oneself directly, immediately -- this is
the right way. and the wrong way is knowing oneself through others, what they say. and if you
don't know yourself, how can they know you? they are very far away. you are the nearest person
to know yourself. if you don't know your reality, how can others know?
but because we lack self knowledge we need a substitute: ego is the substitute and ego is on
constant display. you are just like a display window in a market. you have become a commodity,
you have made yourself a commodity on display, always on display, always begging for
somebody to say: you are good, beautiful, you are saintly, you are great, extraordinary.
tao is against this, because tao says that this is how you waste your life. the same energy
can move directly towards your being and when the being is revealed it is extraordinary.
so a man who is in search of self knowledge will remain ordinary in the eyes of others. he
will not bother, he will hide himself, he will not display. he will not be on exhibition, he will not
be a stage-show. he will remain silent, live silently, enjoy life silently. he would like nobody to
bother about him, because whenever somebody bothers about you, thinks about you, it is going to
be difficult and complex -- self knowledge becomes more and more difficult.
you have to go there alone, and if you are looking at the crowd, and if you think that the
crowd has to follow you, you will never reach it.
if you are an exhibitionist then you will remain a commodity, a thing. you can never
become a person, because 'person' is hidden deep in the recesses of being. it is the deepest
possibility in the whole of existence. you are the greatest abyss. nobody else can go there with
you. you will have to go alone. and if you are too concerned about others, what they say, what
they think, you will remain on the periphery. that is one thing.
the second thing is: just to be on display you hide whatsoever is ugly. in clothes, in words,
in gestures, in masks, in actions, you try to hide whatsoever is ugly and wrong. what are you
doing? this wrong will become a seed inside and it will grow. and the more you push it in, the
more you are throwing it towards the source of all energy; it will be strengthened. and the
beautiful you throw out -- it will never become a seed.
just do the opposite. if you have something ugly, show it to others: it disperses. if you are an
angry man, tell everybody: i am an angry man, don't love me, don't be a friend to me. i am a very
47
bad man. i am ugly, i am immoral, i am greedy, i am sexual. say whatsoever is ugly about you,
not only say it but authentically act it out. and you will be surprised that whenever something is
thrown out, it disperses.
and hide the beautiful; let it go deeper so that it can get roots in your being, and it will
grow. but you have been doing just the opposite.
now try to understand this story.
the prince of wu took a boot to monkey mountain.
chuang tzu always watched monkeys. he was deeply interested in them because they are the
forefathers of man. and a monkey is hidden in you! this whole world is nothing but a monkey
mountain, all around are monkeys.
what is the characteristic of a monkey? what is the deepest character in the monkey? it is
copying. gurdjieff used to say that you cannot become a man unless you stop being a monkey --
and he was right. somebody asked him: what is the deepest characteristic of a monkey? he said:
copying, imitation.
the monkey is a perfect imitator. what have you been doing your whole life? have you been
a man or a monkey? you imitate, you just look around and you follow; following, you become
false. you see somebody walking in a certain way, you try to walk that way; somebody is wearing
a particular dress, you would like to have that dress; somebody has got a car, you would like to
have that car -- everything!
you never look at what your need is. and if you do look to your need, life can become a
blissful existence, because needs are not much. imitation will lead you on a path which reaches
nowhere in the end. needs are not much, needs are always few; if you look to your need, you can
be satisfied. contentment is easy, because what is needed? few are the needs. but if you imitate,
then millions of unnecessary needs crowd all around. and there is no end to them, because there
are millions of people and you would like to imitate everybody. it becomes impossible; you start
living everybody's life and then you forget that you were here to do your own thing, and you have
become an imitator.
you are here to fulfill your own destiny and that destiny is individual, it is nobody else's.
this existence has given you birth to fulfill a particular destiny which cannot be fulfilled by
anybody else. no buddha can do it, no jesus can do it, only you can do it. and you are imitating.
that is why hindus say that unless you stop imitation you will be thrown again and again into
existence -- that is the theory of rebirth. you will be thrown in again and again unless you fulfill
your destiny -- unless you flower, you will have to come back. how can you flower if you
imitate? you see a musician and you want to be a musician; you see an actor and you want to be
an actor; you see a doctor and you want to be a doctor. you want to be everything except yourself
-- and that is all that you can be, nothing else. nothing else is possible, and nobody else is like
you, so nobody can become your ideal.
love a buddha, buddha is beautiful -- but don't imitate, else you will miss. jesus is
wonderful, but he is needed no more; existence has fulfilled that destiny, that work is complete.
he has come to a flowering. that is why whenever a person has flowered he never comes back.
love jesus, but don't be an imitator, otherwise you will end up unfulfilled, in misery and anguish.
you cannot really follow anybody. you can take hints, but then you have to be very alert; hints
should not become blind imitations.
if you see a buddha, take how he has flowered as a hint. what are the methods? what has he
been doing? try to understand it, and let that understanding be absorbed. by and by you will start
feeling your path. it will never be like the buddha's, it can never be, it will be absolutely different.
but absorbing buddha will help. you will have to grow in your own way, but absorbing him will
make you more understanding. that is the difference between an authentic disciple and a follower
who is false.
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a disciple is something completely different from a follower, and i would like to tell you to
be my disciples but not my followers. what is discipline? discipline is learning. the root word of
discipline comes from learning. it is nothing to do with self control, no. a disciple is one who is
ready to learn; a disciple is one who is ready to absorb; a disciple is one who is open, receptive; a
disciple is one who is ready to become a womb. he is not antagonistic, he is not fighting and
arguing. he is trying to understand, and when you try to understand, the head stops functioning.
because the head can do two things: it can either fight or it can follow. it can either be a blind
follower or a blind enemy, but it can never be a disciple.
a disciple is totally different because he is not head-oriented; a disciple is heart-oriented. he
loves the master, absorbs him, and then goes on his own way.
it is a very indirect, very delicate thing. it is not direct. you cannot just look at the master
and do whatsoever he is doing -- then you will become a follower. you cannot learn the words
and start repeating them -- then you will become a follower, then the effort has been in the head,
and the head is the problem.
whenever you are not fighting and not in search of somebody to imitate, your consciousness
falls from the head to the heart. then you are open, then you are simply in love. that is what is
meant by shraddha, faith, trust. it is neither belief nor disbelief.
don't think that trust or faith is belief, it is not. belief is in the head, disbelief is in the head,
trust is in the heart. it has nothing to do with belief or disbelief. believing or not believing is not a
concern at all; you simply love.
you see a rose flower. do you believe in it or do you disbelieve in it? you don't do anything,
you simply look at it. nobody is a follower, nobody is against. the sun rises in the morning. what
do you do? are you a believer or a disbeliever or do you follow the path of the sun the whole day
because you are a follower? either way you will go mad. you simply enjoy, you absorb the
morning, the freshness of it, the youngness, the newness -- with the sun everything is becoming
alive. you enjoy the very life and become more alive through it. you look at a rose and something
of the rose reaches to your heart. outside the rose is flowering, inside, the heart starts flowering.
you reach a master, a buddha or a jesus, a chuang tzu. what do you do? do exactly as you would
do with a rose or with a sunrise. no need to follow, no need not to follow, just absorb.
jesus's last words to his disciples were: eat me, let me be your drink and your food, let me
flow in your blood, absorb me. when he says 'eat me', that means absorb me, digest me; don't
follow outwardly, digest me, and then you will have your own inner light.
a real master never gives you rules, he gives you the eye. he never shows you the path,
never says this is the path, follow. he simply gives you the light and says: now take the light and
go into the darkness, this light will show your path.
a false master always gives you a map: this is the map. don't go astray, follow this map. he
never gives you the light. if you have the light then there is no need of the map, you will find
your path.
and everybody's path is going to be different because everybody is different. let this
understanding go deep into your heart: there are not two persons similar, there cannot be.
existence is not repetitive, existence is not yet exhausted, existence goes on flowering in new
uniquenesses. everybody is extraordinary. no need to prove it. if you want to prove, you will
become a monkey, not a man. stop copying. it is easy to copy, difficult to understand. that is why
one copies, because it is so easy -- just a rule has to be followed. you need not have any
understanding about it: a clear-cut rule is given and you follow it. people come to me and they
say: give us clear-cut rules, so that we can follow. they are saying: we are not going to grow, we
are not going to become mature ourselves. you simply give us clear-cut rules: what to eat, what
not to eat, when to get up early in the morning and when to go to bed. just give us clear cut rules
so that we can follow. you want to become a monkey, not a man.
a man will never ask for clear-cut rules, he will ask for understanding, so he can find his
own way, so he can move in the wide world. he need not have a map with him, no need of any
compass. just your inner light will show your path.
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and there is beauty because there is freedom. when there is no freedom, there is no beauty.
bondage, slavery, is the ugliest thing in the world.
the prince of wu took a boat to monkey mountain. as soon as the monkeys saw him, they all
fled in panic and hid in the treetops.
one monkey, however, remained, completely unconcerned, swinging from branch to branch
-- an extraordinary display.
that monkey must have been a leader of the monkeys, a president, a prime minister. when
all ordinary mortals flee, how can a leader? how can a leader, a great leader, follow ordinary
monkeys? he had to show himself, his toughness. otherwise, in the eyes of the monkeys, his
prestige would be gone. it was not a show for the prince, it was a show for the other monkeys. if
you want to remain a leader you have to be tough. if you want to remain a leader you have to go
on display.
all the political leaders are always on display. you never know their real faces, nobody does.
not even their wives and children know their real faces. they have become so efficient that
nobody knows who they are, they always go on, just showing. it is said that if a politician says
yes to something, it means perhaps; if he says perhaps, it means no. and if he says no, he is not a
politician at all. whatsoever a politician says, he never means it; whatsoever he means he never
says it. and through a politician you can understand yourself because he is just a magnified
picture of you. the leader is just a magnified picture of the follower and it is always easy to see
things in a magnified picture. with a magnifying glass you can see.
it is good to try to understand leaders of men because they are the great monkeys. and you
think you are following them? basically, deep down, they are following you. a leader is always a
follower of his own followers because he always has to look where you are going, what you are
doing. he must know beforehand where the wind is blowing so that he can be just ahead.
once mulla nasrudin was going somewhere on his donkey. and the donkey was going fast. a
friend asked: where are you going, nasrudin? nasrudin said: to tell you the truth, i don't know.
don't ask me. ask this donkey. the man was puzzled so he said: what do you mean? mulla
nasrudin said: you are a friend, so i must be truthful and frank. this donkey is adamant and
stubborn, as all donkeys are, and he creates difficulties. when i pass through a market or a town,
if i insist that we should go this way, he insists on going the other, and then in the marketplace it
becomes ridiculous, i become a laughing stock. people say that not even your donkey follows
you! so i have made it a rule that wherever he goes, i go with him. everyone thinks that the
donkey is following me but that is not true. but the donkey feels happy and my prestige is safe.
every great leader goes on just following his followers. he goes on seeing where the wind is
blowing and he must always be ahead. that is the secret of being a great leader -- you must be
able to know what the people want. you must give them a slogan before they become aware of
what they want. then they follow you.
this monkey must have been a leader. it had to be shown that he was not afraid, even of a
great prince. other monkeys had fled, poor ordinary monkeys, but he was no ordinary monkey, he
was a king himself. he must stay out, he must remain there; that is how he will get more prestige
in the eyes of the monkeys.
one monkey, however, remained, completely unconcerned, swinging from branch to branch
-- an extraordinary display.
the prince shot an arrow at the monkey.
and your princes are also not very different. this was insulting to the prince, this monkey
was being insulting. it was natural that all the monkeys had taken flight. but now, a great prince,
and here was just an ordinary monkey trying to display, showing that he is tough. no, this could
not be allowed because the prince had his own followers. the prince had to look to other men,
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what they would think if even a monkey did not bother, was unconcerned with the prince. the
monkey had to be killed. the logic remains the same whether you are a man or a monkey.
'the prince shot an arrow at the monkey, but the monkey dexterously caught the arrow in
mid-flight.
at this the prince ordered his attendants to make a concerted attack.
because this monkey seemed to be much too arrogant, very egoistic. look... the prince can
see the ego of the monkey but he cannot see his own ego.
and this is happening all over the world. in every relationship, you can always see the ego
of the other, but you cannot see your own -- and the other one goes on seeing your ego. this is a
story written by a man, just think if a monkey had written the story, it would have been absolutely
different. just think, a chuang tzu amongst monkeys writing this story.... then he would have
written that the prince was very arrogant, stubborn and unnecessarily violent -- because the
monkey was not doing anything wrong, he was just enjoying himself. why should the prince be
offended? why should he have felt that this monkey had to be killed? that prince must have been
a very, very egoistic person. he tried to kill, and the monkey was simply defending himself,
nothing else.
if you look at the story from the standpoint of a monkey it will be totally different, but the
base is the same and this always happens. a man of wisdom always looks at every problem from
the other's point of view also. you cannot be wise if you have only one point of view. sometimes
try to stand in others' shoes and just look from there.
many couples come to me, wife and husband, and there are great problems, the greatest,
because that is the basic unit of life. much tension, much ego, much falsity goes on and on and
on, and it becomes a hell. couples come to me and i always suggest that for one day they try the
other's role: let the wife become the husband and the husband become the wife. for twenty-four
hours try the other's role and then it will be very easy to understand the other. even in a one-hour
dialogue play the other's role and reply from the other's point of view and you will feel very
relaxed.
one must be flexible enough to see what the other is feeling at that moment. the husband
comes home and he says something and he feels very innocent, but the wife feels offended. he
can't understand what is happening, he has not said anything. just meditate a little, be in the wife's
place, think that you are the wife and the husband comes in and says the same sentence. how
would you feel? immediately you will be able to understand why the wife is feeling that way. and
if you can understand the other, you will be able to understand yourself more. the other always
sees that you are an egoist. you never see it, you are blind to yourself.
the prince was also blind. he could see that this monkey was trying to display but he
couldn't see why he himself was feeling offended. let him display -- monkeys are monkeys, let
him enjoy; he is not doing any wrong to anybody, just jumping from one branch to another,
swaying, playing a game. let him play. why was the prince so concerned? he felt that he was
being insulted, that this monkey was trying to say: you are nothing, i am unconcerned. you may
be a prince of men but monkeys don't bother about you. and i also am a prince and you are
nothing before me. can you sway like me from one branch to another?
it is said that when darwin discovered that man evolved from monkeys, somebody retorted:
first ask also the monkeys. i am also of the opinion that if we ask the monkeys they would not say
that man is an evolution. he is a fall -- a fall from the monkeys. look... monkeys are stronger than
you, they can do a few things that you cannot do. they are much happier than you, they enjoy life
more than you. so what have you gained through your evolution, your mechanical gadgets, your
weapons, your atomic bombs? why do you think it is an evolution, a growth, a development? ask
the monkeys, they will laugh and they will say that you are fools. you cannot even walk on all
fours. you cannot climb a tree like a monkey.
the monkey and the prince are both in the same boat.
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the prince shot an arrow at the monkey, but the monkey dexterously caught the arrow in
mid-flight. the prince is more violent than the monkey because the monkey's display is simply to
ask: why should you kill me? but man is more violent than any animal.
there is a zoo in tokyo -- if you ever go to tokyo, never miss the zoo. go there! all sorts of
wild animals are there, hundreds of cages, and there is a last cage on which there is a notice
board: 'the most dangerous animal of all'. but the cage is vacant, empty. if you look -- and you
will look -- for the most dangerous animal of all, you will find him, because there is a mirror.
the monkey was innocent in his ego. animals have their egos but they are still innocent, not
so violent. but man is violent, man seems to be the only violent animal. tigers kill, lions kill, but
just to eat, never otherwise. man kills not only to eat, he enjoys killing. hunting is a game for him.
he will simply kill to kill -- and no animal in the world kills his own brothers and sisters, no! a
lion will not kill another lion, a monkey will not kill another monkey. man is the only animal
which kills other men. there is an in-built protection in every animal; zoologists say that every
animal carries an in-built mechanism not to kill the same species. but it seems that something has
gone wrong with man, he kills his own species. there is nothing like war in the animal world,
although individuals fight. animals have more understanding. if two dogs fight, sooner or later,
within minutes, they come to an understanding. man never comes to an understanding; unless he
kills, there seems to he no solution. even dogs are more intelligent. if two dogs bark, show their
teeth, jump at each other, that is just a show, they are trying to feel the pulse, who is the stronger.
it is a mock-fight. they have not yet started and when one feels that he is not so strong then he
knows it is futile to fight. he simply shows with his tail -- stop! and then the thing is finished,
they have come to an understanding. a hierarchy is established -- the stronger will of course win,
so why go through a fight unnecessarily?
only man is foolish, the most foolish animal, because he will never believe' that the weaker
will be defeated and that the stronger will be victorious. it is ordinary arithmetic that the stronger
will win, so why fight? there is no need. hitler can bark at stalin, stalin can bark at hitler and they
can both call their mathematician and count who has the most airplanes, the most bombs. within
minutes the thing can be settled -- then you just show by your tail. no need to go to war, because a
war will only prove what can already be done on a table -- that is, who the strongest is. why such
a wastage, such a wastage of human beings?
but no, it is impossible. human beings are such egoists that even the weaker thinks that
somehow he is going to win. no animal deceives himself so much. mock fights are there just to
judge who is stronger, then it is finished. you will say of a dog who puts down his tail, that he is a
coward. no, he is not, he is simply intelligent. he is weak, so what is the need to get into a fight? it
is proved, and it is proved innocently without any bloodshed. the same thing is going to be
proved even through a fight. why go to war unnecessarily?' this is more economical.
at this the prince ordered his attendants to make a concerted attack. look at the foolishness!
just to kill a monkey a concerted attack is needed, many men attacking the monkey from all sides.
in an instant the monkey was shot full of arrows and fell dead. and the prince must have felt very
good, he had done something. but look at the foolishness -- a concerted attack by so many people,
and with the prince there must have been at least a hundred attendants. a hundred men killing a
monkey and then feeling good, victorious. the monkeys must be laughing at what you have done.
the monkey was shot full of arrows and fell dead. then the prince turned to his companion
yen pu'i.... and look how even in our foolishness we prove that we are wise! this prince had killed
unnecessarily and in no way could this be called a victory. just to kill one monkey took a
concerted attack of a hundred persons with arrows; and the monkey was without any weapon,
naked, with no protection.
is it a victory? it is not a victory at all, it is not even diplomacy. even ordinarily, if we fight
a warrior, we give a weapon to the other. he must have a sword, he must have the same
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protection. they were all protected. but an unprotected innocent animal had been killed.
the prince is foolish, but look at his advice even from our foolishness we go on feeling that
we are wise. what did he say? he said to his companion, yen pu'i: 'you see what happened? this
animal advertised his cleverness, he trusted in his own skill. he thought no one could touch him.
remember that! do not rely on distinction and talent when you deal with men!'
this is one of the subtle things to be understood. we are always wise if we have to advise
others but when we are in the same trap, with the same problem, the same crisis, we are not so
wise. if somebody else comes to you with a problem, you will give him good advice and the
advice may be right. but if you have the same problem you will not be able to give yourself the
same advice. why? because when it is somebody else's problem you are detached.
this prince told his companion: 'you see what happened? this animal advertised his
cleverness, he trusted in his own skill. he thought no-one could touch him. remember that! do not
rely on distinction and talent when you deal with men!'
he could see the foolishness of the monkey but he could not see the foolishness of what he
had done. and, as i feel, he had done a more foolish thing than the monkey.
he had also advertised his skill, he had also shown his talent, and not only with men but
with monkeys too. he displayed who he was: hc was not an ordinary man, he was an
extraordinary prince. he was no ordinary mortal. and then he gave this advice to his friend: do not
rely on distinction and talent when you deal with men. but the advice is right.
and it happened, as it happens many times, that the friend took the advice and it
transformed his whole being. the prince remained the same. so if you can learn, you can learn
from fools also. if you cannot learn, even a buddha is useless, you will not learn. and sometimes it
happens that the people who advise you remain the same. if you can learn you can transform
yourself.
sometimes teachers are left behind and disciples move fast and reach the goal. because you
can give good advice to others it doesn't mean that you have attained that truth.
this is good. the advice is beautiful and tao says the same thing. tao has the same teaching
but not with the same mind as the prince. chuang tzu has put the teaching in the prince's mouth
but the prince is just like a scholar, a pundit, who shows the words but who has not lived it
through. it is not a live experience; it is just a doctrine. the prince must have heard it from
somewhere, from some taoist source, because this is one of their keys.
you see what happened? this animal advertised his cleverness, he trusted in his own skill. he
thought no-one could touch him. remember that!
don't display, don't exhibit, otherwise you will cause unnecessary troubles, you will invite
unnecessary problems. you may even get so involved in it that it may prove your death.
do not rely on distinction and talent when you deal with men.
this advice came from the mouth of the prince. the friend was really a wise man because he
wasn't concerned whether the prince himself followed what he was saying. and it should happen
in life that you are not concerned, you should simply take the advice and become changed. but
you are concerned.
what is the use of thinking about the bottles? just take the content. what is the use of asking
about the container? just taste the contents, and if the contents are good, forget the container. this
prince was in the same position as the monkey, even worse, but he uttered one of the secrets of
taoist teachings. he may have read about it, he may have been taught it, and suddenly the situation
provoked his knowledge. so he said to the companion: don't display! don't become an
exhibitionist, otherwise you will be in trouble. and don't rely on distinction and talent when you
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deal with men. why? because every man is an egoist. if you depend on your talent you will be in
trouble because you will create enemies. if you depend on distinction you will be in trouble
because all around you there will be enemies. nobody wants you to be superior to them.
once mulla nasrudin came to me, very excited. he said: now you have to help me i asked
him: what is the matter? he said: i feel terrible, it is awful. recently i have been developing an
inferiority complex. help me! do something! so i said: tell me something more about it. why are
you developing an inferiority complex? he said: recently i have been feeling that everybody is as
good as i am.
whenever you show your talent you are showing that the other is not as good -- and the
other will be offended. remember, the prince is offended just by a monkey swaying in the trees....
if you show your distinction, if you say that you are something, if you try to prove your
talent in subtle ways, everybody will be offended. and they cannot forgive you, they will take
their revenge. with every man of distinction the masses take revenge. it may be that jesus was
crucified because the masses could not tolerate his superiority -- and he was superior. they could
not tolerate this man of quality. he was extraordinary, they had to kill him. athens could not
tolerate socrates. he was rare -- one of the most unique minds ever born, so penetrating that there
is no comparison. athens could not tolerate him, everybody felt offended.
chuang tzu says: don't rely on talent when you deal with men. remain hidden! it has to be
remembered that a taoist master has never been crucified or poisoned. never! because they never
rely on talent. they never say that they are distinct from you. they never say that they are higher
than you, more divine than you, holier than you, no. they never say anything. they behave in such
a way that everybody around them will feel that they are superior to them.
chuang tzu himself lived such an ordinary life and such a beautiful life, that nobody even
suspected that here was a man of very extraordinary dimensions. he would pass through villages,
and the villages would not even become aware that chuang tzu had passed.
once it happened that the emperor heard about chuang tzu from some source, and the
rumour was that he was a very wise man. so he sent his prime minister in search of him. but
where to find him? he had no home, no address, he was a wanderer. chuang tzu used to say that if
you stay in one place it is difficult to hide, people will start suspecting. because you have
something, they will suspect, and by and by they will become aware. so before they become
aware leave them otherwise you will be in trouble. so he was a constant wanderer -- no address,
no home. where to find him?
but they tried, when the emperor orders it has to be tried. they asked many taoist teachers:
where can we find chuang tzu? they said: very difficult, nobody knows. he moves like the wind,
unknown, like a cloud, whereabouts unknown. but you go, and if some villager says that there is
a man here who is absolutely ordinary, then catch that man, he may be chuang tzu. and they
found him in that way.
in a village some people reported: yes, there is a man who has just come to this village,
absolutely ordinary. you cannot find a more ordinary man than he. when asked where he was,
they said: he is fishing on the bank of the river. they went there and said to chuang tzu: the
emperor has enquired about you; and we have been searching for you. would you like to come to
the court? would you like to become a member of the court -- advisor to the king?
chuang tzu said: wait, and let me think. and the next day, when they came to ask him, he
was not found in that village; he had escaped. people had suspected, they had come to know.
a man of tao moves absolutely without identity. why? because if you show talent then
people cannot forgive you. people can forgive fools, but they cannot forgive wise men. that is
why jesus was crucified, socrates was poisoned. you feel so utterly inferior before a jesus or a
socrates, how can you forgive them! it is natural, you will make a concerted attack. you will all
make a concerted attack to kill that man. then you will feel that a burden has been thrown.
a jesus is so superb -- if he just stands by your side you feel inferior. he has to hide himself.
this teaching is very basic. and the prince told these words to his companion, yen pu'i.
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when they returned home, yen pu'i became a disciple of a sage to get rid of everything that
made him outstanding. he renounced every pleasure. he learned to hide every distinction.
soon no one in the kingdom knew what to make of him. thus they held him in awe.
many things: this man, yen pu'i, was really a wise man. he didn't bother about who had
given the message to him. he didn't bother about the vehicle, he simply took the message.
remember this... you always bother about the vehicle. if i say something to you, you start
thinking about me, if this man is reliable, if this man has attained what he says. first you would
like to be convinced about me -- but that is impossible. what i am saying, look at that -- forget me
completely. it is my business whether i have attained or not, it is none of your business. why are
you concerned about it? whatsoever i am saying, if you feel the fragrance of it, try the medicine,
not the doctor. don't be concerned with the doctor, be concerned with the medicine because
finally it is the medicine that is going to cure you. and it is possible to find the right medicine
even from a quack doctor. the opposite is also possible: it is possible to find the wrong medicine
from a right doctor. the real thing is the medicine.
this man, yen pu'i, must have been a very wise and intelligent man, otherwise he would
have thought this fool, this fool of a prince, he is giving me advice and he himself lives with
distinction, lives an exhibitionist's life.
nobody lives like kings, they are always on display, on the throne. and they want to make it
clear to everybody that nobody is like them. they create a distance between ordinary mortals and
themselves -- a gap. you cannot go and put your hand on a king's shoulder. no! he will feel
offended: what are you doing? are you saying that you are similar to me? you will be killed.
it is said that hitler never allowed anybody to put a hand on his shoulder. never! not a single
friend. nobody was allowed to use his name hitler, he was to be called fuehrer. nobody was
allowed to use his proper name because that would show friendship. he never loved any woman,
because it is very difficult to love a woman and not to make her equal to you. it is impossible. and
women are so intelligent and cunning; if you love them they will not only try to be equal, they
will try to be superior -- and they can prove it. he never loved a woman. he had some
relationships, but never a love relationship -- just sexual. and he would treat the woman just like a
servant, not only a servant, but a slave.
he lived with a woman for many years, and one day a small incident happened. the woman
wanted to go and see her mother, her mother was ill and in hospital. and hitler said: no! he was
very dictatorial; if he said no, he meant it. the woman thought that she wouldn't discuss the matter
any more, when hitler went to the office she could go just for a few minutes and see her mother
and come back. there was no problem.
hitler went to the office. the woman went to see her mother and came back before hitler
returned. at the gate he enquired if his girl friend had been out. she had been out. he enquired if
she had been to the hospital. then he went in and without asking anything, he killed her, shot her
dead immediately. what type of love is it when only slaves can be tolerated?
love makes you equal. an egoistic person cannot love because love equalizes. there are only
two forces that equalize: one is love, another is death. when you love a person you have become
equal to that person. and if you really love, in that moment of love, you will feel that the whole
existence is equal, nobody is inferior and nobody is superior. everybody is unique, different, but
nobody is inferior, nobody is superior.
in love you feel a communion with the whole existence, everything becomes equal, equally
valuable. and death is a great equalizer. when you die all distinctions drop, and a dead hitler is
just like a dead dog -- no difference. can you see any difference between a dead dog and a dead
hitler, or even a dead buddha? no distinction can be made, the body is just the same: dust unto
dust. and those who can love can become, and feel, an equality with the whole existence -- even
with rocks.
if you are in love, you will feel a vibration that everything is equal, even a rock is as equal
as you. then there is no death because then you cannot die -- you have felt such a unity with
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existence. this unity will continue. the form will disappear, the body will be no longer there, but
the inner most unity will remain. in new waves you will arise, in new trees you will flower, in
new beings you will dance, but you will continue.
this is one of the most paradoxical things -- that you are unique and yet one with the
existence. this paradox cannot be explained, you have to experience it. you are unique and yet
one with the existence.
when they returned home, yen pu'i became a disciple of a sage.
he didn't bother whether the prince had taken his own advice to his heart or not. the prince
continued the same, the old, but yen pu'i changed his whole existence; he became a disciple of a
sage. and if you want to change your life you have to become a disciple, because alone it is really
difficult, alone it is almost impossible. you need the help of someone who has known. you need
to trust in someone who has gone ahead of you.
discipline means to learn from someone, to surrender to someone, to be receptive to
someone; not to follow and imitate, but just to absorb his understanding so your own inner flame
is lit; just to come to a lighted flame so that your own flame is lit. then you can move on your
own, then you have become a universe unto yourself. but before that it is very difficult to find,
difficult to move, difficult to reach the right path.
near a sage many things become possible -- many impossible things become possible
because a sage is the only miracle in the world. he lives in the body and he is no longer the body,
he is here with you and no longer with you, he touches you and yet a vast, infinite distance exists
between you and him. a sage is the only miracle. if you live around him, just silently, just
absorbing, drinking his wine, soon you will feel the miracle and that it has started to change you.
it is just like when you are ill, you go to switzerland. what can switzerland do? but the
whole climate is healthy, in that healthy climate your disease cannot persist. your disease needs
support and there is no support for it, so it falls, without support it falls.
near a sage, you have changed your climate. you live with people who are ignorant just like
you, you live in a climate, a milieu, then you come near a sage -- you have changed the climate,
you have come to the himalayas, to the alps, to switzerland. now the climate is different, now he
is not going to support your illnesses. he will by and by take away all supports. without the
supports the illness fails. and when there is no illness, your own health flowers.
all that needs to be done is to remove the illnesses -- health is already there, it is not to be
given to you. only remove the illness and health flowers. near a sage, the climate changes. but
you have to be open. if you go to switzerland, and you have iron, steel armour around you, you
will not be changed because your steel armour will carry its own climate within. go to a sage
without any armour, without any defense -- that is what the meaning of surrender is.
when they returned home, yen pu'i became a disciple of a sage to get rid of everything that
made him outstanding.
look... all that we do in our life is learn how to become outstanding. how to be first in class,
first in the university, how to get the gold medal, how to be a nobel prize winner, how to be
outstanding in some way or other -- anything will do.
once mulla nasrudin knocked at the door of the manager of a great circus, and he said: you
have to look at me, i have a terrific act! i am a dwarf. the manager looked at nasrudin. he was six
feet two inches tall, and he was saying: i am a dwarf! so the manager said: what are you saying?
you seem to me six feet two inches tall! nasrudin said: yes, that is right; i am the longest, tallest
dwarf in the world.
the mind goes on finding ways and means to be outstanding. if you cannot be anything else,
at least you can be the tallest dwarf. but be something, somebody. the whole education, culture,
civilization teaches you to be outstanding, and tao says: don't be outstanding, drop all that is
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outstanding; just be ordinary, just be simple. easy is right; to be ordinary is to be right, because to
be ordinary you will be easy. if you want to be extraordinary, outstanding, you will always remain
uneasy and tense because you have to prove something. you have to convince others, and your
whole life will remain always indecisive. with indecision there will be a wavering inside, a
trembling.
.... yen pu'i became a disciple of a sage to get rid of everything that made him outstanding.
he renounced every pleasure. he learned to hide every distinction.
soon, no one in the kingdom knew what to make of him. thus they held him in awe.
and tao says, that when nobody knows what to make of you -- you are so ordinary that
nobody knows what to make of you, nobody knows any utility for you, you cannot be used, you
are so ordinary, without any talent -- then, they say, the real mystery reveals itself through you.
then you become a real mystery. when you cannot be used you become god like. what is the
meaning? whenever you are used, you become a thing; whenever you cannot be used, you
become a person.
a person is not a utility; a thing is a utility. if somebody asks you: who are you? you say: i
am a doctor. what do you mean? it means that society is using you as a doctor. it is a function, not
a personality. it is not your person, not your being, it is a utility -- society is using you as a doctor.
somebody is a carpenter, somebody else is a shoemaker. is this your being? or just a utility
in society? society is using you as a thing, and the more valuable your use, the more society will
value you. but if you drop all talents, if you become just ordinary, and nobody knows what to do
with you, nobody can use you, you have gone beyond society. now you are no longer a thing, you
have become a person. and this does not mean that you will not do anything, you will, but nobody
will use you. you will 'do' on your own, it will be your flowering.
a rose flowers, not for those who will pass, not for those who will see, not for those who
will smell the fragrance. no! it flowers on its own. a man of tao flowers on his own. he is like a
rose, he is not a utility. and a man who has not known his innermost being is always like a thing,
always on display in the window of a shop; always waiting for somebody to come and use him
with all his certificates, distinctions, talents; always crying: come and use me, make me a thing. i
am a most valuable thing, you will never get any thing better than me. come and use me! this is
your whole cry.
and if this is your cry, you will become a thing.
a man of tao drops all distinctions, he burns all certificates, he destroys all bridges, he
remains in himself, he becomes a flower. and this flowering is purposeless -- it has no utility.
many are benefitted by it, but it is not for them, it is for one's own self. he has attained his own
destiny. then there is fulfillment.
as a thing you will remain unfulfilled because you have to be a person, an authentic person.
you have not to be a thing, not to be a husband, because to be a husband is a thing; you have not
to be a wife, because to be a wife is to have a utility. just be a flower, then you can love. but there
is no need to be a husband, no need to be a wife. you can share, but there is no need to advertise.
a flower flowers; it does not need any advertisement. if somebody partakes of its pleasure and
happiness, it is okay; if nobody passes by the spot, it is also okay. when you flower for yourself,
everything is okay, nothing is wrong. when you are for somebody else, just waiting in a
showcase, labelled, priced, catalogued, advertised, you will never reach to a fulfillment because a
thing is a dead thing, only a person is alive.
be alive, and be a person. and this you can never be if you go on copying. if you remain on
the monkey mountain you will never be the real, you will continue to be the false. drop all
falsities, exhibitions, displays. just be yourself, ordinary and unique, and fulfill your destiny.
nobody else can do it for you. you can absorb me, you cannot follow me. i never followed
anybody, i had my own path. you will have your own path. you will move on a path on which
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nobody has ever moved and nobody will move on it ever again.
in the spiritual world no footprints are left. it is just like the sky: a bird flies -- no footprints
are left, nobody can follow. just take a delight in me, be happy with me and you will absorb. and
that will become a light within you and that will show you the path. but don't copy, don't believe
or disbelieve, don't be head-oriented. don't be a monkey -- be a man.
***** chapter 6 : symphony for a seabird *****
16 october 1974 am in buddha hall
you cannot put a big load in a small bag, nor can you, with a short rope, draw water from a
deep well.
have you not heard how a bird from the sea was blown inshore and landed outside the
capital of lu?
the prince ordered a solemn reception, offered the sea bird wine in the sacred precinct,
called for musicians to play the compositions of shun, slaughtered cattle to nourish it. dazed with
symphonies, the unhappy sea bird died of despair.
how should you treat a bird? as yourself, or as a bird? ought not a bird to nest in deep
woodland or fly over meadow and marsh? ought it not to swim on river and pond, feed on eels
and fish, fly in formation with other waterfowl, and rest in, the reeds?
bad enough for a sea bird to be surrounded by men and frightened by their voices! that was
not enough! they killed it with music!
water is for fish, and air for men. natures differ, and needs with them.
hence the wise men of old did not lay down one measure for all.
there is no human nature as such -- there are human natures. each individual is a universe
unto himself, you cannot make any general rules. all general rules go false. this has to be
remembered very deeply, because on this path there is every possibility that you may start
following rules, and once you become the victim of rules you will never come to know who you
are.
you can know yourself only in total freedom -- and rules are prisons. they are prisons
because no-one else can make rules for you; he may have discovered the truth through these
rules, but they were for him. nature differs -- they helped him but they will not help you; on the
contrary, they will hinder you.
so let understanding be the only rule.
learn, grow in understanding, but don't follow rules. rules are dead, understanding is alive;
rules will become an imprisonment, understanding will give you the infinite sky. and every man
is burdened with rules, every religion becomes nothing but rules. because jesus attained, because
buddha attained, their life became a rule for everybody else to follow. but nobody else is a
gautam buddha; nobody else is a jesus christ. so at the most you can become a decorated carbon
copy, but you will never be your authentic self. if you follow jesus too much you will become a
christian but never a christ, and that is the danger. to become a christian and to miss christ is not
worth it. you can become christ, but then jesus cannot be your rule, only your own understanding
will be the law.
jesus followed nobody. he had a master, john the baptist, but he never followed any rule. he
felt the master, he remained with the master, he looked at the flame of the master, he absorbed the
master, he was baptised by the master, but he never followed any rules. other followers of john
went against jesus. they said: this man has betrayed you. he is going on his own, he is not
following the rules strictly. no man of understanding can follow rules strictly. only people who
are dead can follow rules strictly because no rule is for you, you are your own rule. understand,
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learn from others, just to find your own rule, but remember, never impose that rule on anybody
else -- that is violence. your so-called mahatmas go on enforcing rules on others because through
rules they kill and destroy, and they enjoy violence. their violence is very subtle, they don't kill
you directly, they kill you very indirectly. if somebody attacks you directly you can defend
yourself. when somebody attacks you indirectly -- for your own sake -- you become completely a
victim, you cannot even defend yourself.
many gurus are nothing but violence, but their violence is subtle. so whenever you come
near a man who wants to impose his rules on your life, wants to give you a fixed frame, wants to
give you a window to look at the truth through, escape from him. there is danger. a real master
will not give you a window to look at the truth through, he will bring you out under the sky. he
will not give you a pattern to live by, he will simply give you the feeling, the understanding, and
understanding will help you to move; understanding is free and your own.
remember.... because you don't want to understand, because understanding is difficult and
arduous, because understanding needs courage and understanding needs transformation, you
simply become victims of those who want to give you rules. but rules are substitutes, you can get
them easily. you can easily make your life a disciplined life but this will be a false thing. you may
be acting, pretending, but this cannot be real.
there is a jewish story i would like to tell you. jesus must have heard it because it is older
than jesus and everybody knew the story in those days. he must have heard it from his mother,
mary, or from his father, joseph. the story is beautiful, you may also have heard it.
the story is this. a so-called wise man, almost a rabbi... i say almost because although he
was a rabbi, to be a real rabbi is difficult. to be a real rabbi means you are enlightened. in fact he
was just a priest, he had not known anything. but people knew about him, that he was a wise
man.... was coming back from a nearby village to his home. as he was passing, he saw a man
carrying a beautiful bird. he purchased the bird and started thinking to himself: back home i am
going to eat this bird, this bird is beautiful. suddenly the bird said: don't think such thoughts! the
rabbi became scared, he said: what, have i heard you speak? the bird said: yes, and i am no
ordinary bird. i am also almost a rabbi in the world of birds. and i can give you three pieces of
advice if you promise to release me and make me free. the rabbi said to himself: this bird speaks.
he must be someone who knows.
this is how we decide -- if somebody can speak he must know! speaking is so easy,
knowing is so difficult -- they are not related to each other at all. you can speak without knowing,
you can know without speaking. there is no relationship. but to us a speaker becomes a knower.
the rabbi said: okay, you give me three pieces of advice and i will set you free. said the bird:
first piece of advice -- never believe in any absurdity, whosoever should be saying it. it may be a
great man, renowned all over the world, with prestige, power, authority -- but if he is saying
something absurd don't believe it. the rabbi said: right! the bird said: this is my second piece of
advice -- whatsoever you do, never try the impossible, because then you will be a failure. so
always know your limit: one who knows his limitations is wise, one who goes beyond his limit
becomes a fool. the rabbi nodded and said: right! 'and,' said the bird, 'this is my third piece of
advice -- if you do something good never repent, only repent that which is bad.'
the advice was wonderful, beautiful, so the bird was set free. happy, the rabbi started
walking towards his home and he thought in his mind: good material for a sermon. in the
synagogue next week when i am going to speak i will give these three pieces of advice. and i am
going to write them on the wall of my house and i will write them on my desk so i can remember
them. these three rules can change a man.
then, suddenly, he saw the bird sitting on a tree and the bird started laughing so loudly that
the rabbi said: what is the matter? the bird said: you fool, i have got a very precious diamond in
my belly. had you killed me you would have become the richest man in the world. the rabbi
repented in his heart: really i am foolish. what have i done, i believed this bird.
he threw down the books that he was carrying and started climbing the tree. he was an old
man and he had never climbed a tree in his life. and the higher he climbed, the higher the bird
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would fly to another branch. finally the bird reached the very top and the old rabbi also -- and
then the bird flew away. just at the moment when he was going to catch the bird, it flew. he
missed his step and fell down from the tree; blood began to flow both legs were fractured, he was
almost dead. the bird came again to a lower branch and said: now, first you believed me, that a
bird can have a precious diamond in his belly. you fool! have you ever heard such an absurdity!
and then you tried the impossible -- you have never climbed a tree. and when a bird is free, how
can you catch him with bare hands, you fool? and you repented in your heart, feeling that you had
done wrong when you had done a good deed, you had made a bird free! now go home and write
your rules and next week go to the synagogue and preach them.
but this is what all preachers are doing. understanding is lacking, they only carry rules --
rules are dead things. understanding has no weight, you need not carry it -- it carries you, it
becomes your wings. it is not a weight at all, you need not even remember it if you understand a
thing you need not remember it, it becomes your blood, your bones, it is you. whatsoever you do
will be done through that understanding; it is an unconscious phenomenon.
rules are conscious, understanding is unconscious, and chuang tzu is always in favour of the
unconscious. the whole tradition of tao is for the unconscious. don't force rules, just try to
understand things. if you force rules upon yourself you will not become enlightened, you will
remain ignorant inside, just decorated from without.
jesus used to say: i look at you and i feel that you are like graves, white-washed -- inside
dead, outside a white-washed wall. it may look beautiful and clean, all your rules can give you an
outer cleanliness, but inside you remain the old fool. and remember, only fools follow rules; a
wise man tries to understand and forget the rules. a wise man is free to move; a man who has
rules cannot move, he always has to follow the rule. and life changes every moment -- from
moment to moment, it goes on changing, it does not wait for you or your rules. every moment is
new. and if the rule is old, you will always miss your step and you will always be a misfit.
whenever there is a man who follows rules he will always be a misfit everywhere, because life
goes on flowing and you are stuck with the rule.
as i see within you, you are all stuck with rules. in your childhood, rules were given to you
and you are stuck there. since then you have never moved. you may have been jogging on the
same spot but you have not moved. you may become old -- seventy years old -- but deep down
you remain stuck. the whole effort towards enlightenment is how to get unstuck, how to move,
how to become a flow again and not be frozen. don't be like ice -- frozen; become like water, a
river -- flowing. rules will never allow you that. remember that life goes on renewing itself and
only understanding can respond.
mulla nasrudin was always talking in negative terms so i told him. be more positive. why
look at life with such negative eye? then you will find only thorns and no flowers. so he said:
okay, now i will make it a rule to be positive always.
the next day his wife went shopping in the market and she told him to look after the
children. when she came back she immediately felt that something had gone wrong. the whole
house was sad, children were not running here and there -- no noise. she became apprehensive.
and then she looked at nasrudin who was sitting at the door and immediately she felt that
something really had gone wrong.
afraid she said: nasrudin, don't tell me anything bad, just tell me the good news. nasrudin
said: i have taken a vow not to be negative at all so you need not remind me. you know our seven
children -- six of them didn't fall under a bus!
this is how he had become positive.
you can change the words, but deep down you remain the same. you can change the
behaviour, but deep down you remain the same. the real thing is how to change your being -- not
your behaviour, not your words, not your clothes -- how to change your being. a man of rules
changes himself on the periphery. a man of understanding changes himself, then the periphery
changes automatically. when the centre changes, the periphery changes automatically, it has to
change. but when the periphery changes there is no necessity for the centre to change with it.
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what can rules do? they can tell you what to do and what not to do, but they cannot change
you, they can only change your actions, and actions are not you. actions come from you, but you
are deeper than your actions. rules can change your behaviour -- behaviour means your
relationship with others -- but they cannot change you. only in your total aloneness are you your
being, not in relationship.
and then chuang tzu says that natures differ.
one man came to me. he had been doing sirshasana -- a yoga posture, standing on his head,
the head stand posture. it is written in the books that it is very beneficial and because it is very
beneficial he had been doing it for very long periods. now he was in such an inner turmoil that he
was almost going mad. so he asked me what had gone wrong. he was a man of rules, he followed
patanjali word for word: diet, sleep time, exactly as they should be, he was a very 'regularised'
man. so he could not think what had gone wrong. i asked him to tell me his whole routine. he did
sirshasana for one hour in the morning, and one hour at night. and he was waiting, expecting that
at any moment enlightenment would happen. it had not happened, rather he was going mad, he
was crazy.
sirshasana suits certain people. and the more idiotic a person is, the more it suits him. to a
man of intelligence it is dangerous; the higher the intelligence, the more dangerous. because it is
not just a posture, it changes your whole body chemistry.
man has attained intelligence but no animal has. why? because man stands on two legs; that
is the whole point. if a child continued to walk on all fours, he would never become a man. he
would never attain that intelligence. when your spine is parallel to the earth blood flows equally
all over the body; it goes to the legs in the same amount as it goes to the head. then the head
cannot develop subtle nerves -- it cannot develop a subtle nervous system. subtle is your brain
mechanism, very subtle, the most subtle thing in the world.
your head weighs only one and a half kilos. even if it is the head of an einstein, a great
genius's head, it still weighs only one and a half kilos. in this small head there are seventy million
cells. each cell can carry millions of bits of information. and the cell is so subtle that if the blood
flows too fast the cell dies. blood must not move into the head too much, otherwise it washes
away the subtle mechanism. so if someone is stupid, idiotic, imbecilic, sirshasana is the best
thing, because it cannot do any harm and he will feel very good. it will not do any harm and he
will feel very good because the blood will flow to the head in a flood and when the flood recedes,
everything will relax. he will feel very good, just as when you take a bath you feel very good. but
if you are very intelligent then it is dangerous. then you will get stuck in it, your subtle
mechanism will be destroyed. you may feel good physically, but mentally it will prove
destructive. so if a very intelligent person does it he may go mad; if an unintelligent person does
it he may become more healthy.
and then there is the question of time, how much? for a few seconds even for an intelligent
man it may be good, just a few seconds, just a flood and then back: then nothing is destroyed,
everything just becomes more alive in the brain. but that has to be decided by a master, not by
you -- you cannot do it through books. only a living master can decide how many seconds will be
enough for you, otherwise you will be moving in danger. but the human mind is childish. if
something goes wrong with your watch, the first inclination is to open it to see what has gone
wrong, and to do something. please don't do anything, otherwise many more things will go
wrong. because a watch is a subtle mechanism and only somebody who knows should open it.
you will not be repairing it; you may do so much harm that it will become almost impossible to
repair it. and a watch is nothing -- before a brain a watch is nothing. don't do anything through
books; books cannot be helpful. somebody is needed who can look through your mind, through
the whole brain system, who can feel how your inner brain is functioning; only he can decide
how many seconds and whether it will be good or not.
and this is just an example. many people go on trying things through books. life is very
complex, books can only give you dead rules, and if you follow them you are moving into a
dangerous zone. it is better not to do anything than to do something wrong. it is better to remain
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ordinary -- remain in an ordinary life. if you cannot find a living master, if you cannot trust in
somebody, then don't do it. at least you will remain sane; otherwise, you can go insane.
the inner system of your bio-energy is very complex -- the whole universe is nothing
compared to it. the whole universe moves on very simple lines.
man is the most complex being; that is why no lion can go mad but man is always on the
verge. almost any moment you can go mad. it is such a complex phenomenon that one should
move in it with great alertness. and understanding is needed, not rules. through books, scriptures,
rules, you can have knowledge but not understanding. each person is different: man is different
from woman, each individual is different from the other. not only that, every day you are different
from the day before. yesterday you were one person, today you are somebody else, tomorrow you
will be somebody else again. a very, very deep understanding is needed; rules cannot be the
substitute.
now we will enter the sutra:
symphony for a sea bird.
you cannot put a big load a small bag nor can you, with a short rope, draw water from a
deep well.
but this is what everybody is doing: trying to put a big load in a small bag. you never bother
about the bag or what your capacity is. the first thing is to know your limitations, then think about
your achievement. what is your capacity? what are you capable of? what is your intrinsic
capacity? nobody bothers about it. if a man who has no musical ear goes on trying to become a
musician his whole life will be wasted because a musician is born, not made. a man who has no
feeling goes on trying to become a poet or a painter. if a man who has no eyes tries to become a
painter he is going to be a failure, because a painter has a different type of eye -- almost the third
eye. when you look at the trees you see one green, when a painter looks he sees thousands of
greens, not one. each tree has a greenery of its own. and he feels colour; colour has a vibration for
him; the whole world is nothing but colour.
hindus say that the whole world is sound.
it so happens that those few people who wrote the upanishads were poets, musicians; they
had an ear for sound. then the whole universe turned into a sound -- omkar, anahata. a man who
has never been in love with music goes on trying with the mantra aum -- nothing happens. he
goes on repeating it inside -- nothing happens. he goes to this master and that and never thinks
about his own capacity.
if you have a musical ear, if you have a heart which can understand music -- not only
understand but feel -- then a mantra will be helpful. because then you can become one with the
inner sounds, then you can move with those sounds to more and more subtle layers. then a
moment comes when all sounds stop and only the universal sound remains. that is aum. that is
why hindus say that the whole world consists of sound. this is not true, this is not an absolute
truth; this is the truth of the musician.
remember there are no absolute truths, every truth is individual -- it is your truth. there is no
truth as an objectivity. your truth may not be a truth to me, my truth may not be a truth to you,
because truth is not objective. i am there, involved in it, my truth means me -- your truth means
you.
when buddha reaches, when jesus or chuang tzu reaches they have reached the same
universal source, but their interpretations differ.
a buddha is not a musician at all; he finds no sound there. he is not a painter; he finds no
colour there. he is a very silent man, silence is his music. that is why he finds a formless void --
shunya -- everything empty. that is his truth. he has come to the same source, the source is one,
but the people who come are different. they look, they see, they feel in different ways. that is why
there are so many philosophies, so many religions. when meera comes to the same source she
starts dancing. you cannot conceive of buddha dancing, you cannot conceive of jesus dancing!
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meera starts dancing -- she has come to the beloved. the heart of a woman, the feeling of love --
then the source becomes the beloved. she has come to her lover. the source is the same, the truth
ultimately is the same, but the moment someone says it -- it is different. and remember, nobody's
truth can be yours; you have to uncover it.
the first thing is to remember your capacity, but you are so confused you cannot feel what
your capacity is. hence the need of a master who can take your pulse with his hand and who can
feel what your capacity is. you may go on making much effort in a wrong direction but the
outcome will be nothing. you can reach only in a certain way; you can reach only through you.
you cannot put a big load in a small bag, nor can you, with a short rope, draw water from a
deep well.
know your capacity -- that is the first point. if you rightly know your capacity, then the first
step has been taken and the last is not very far away. if the first is wrong, then you may walk and
walk for lives together and you will not reach anywhere.
have you not heard how a bird from the sea was blown inshore and landed outside the
capital of lu?
a beautiful parable -- a bird from the sea landed outside the capital of lu, a beautiful bird.
the prince ordered a solemn reception -- because a prince is a prince, and he thought that a
king among birds had come, and just as other princes have to be received so this bird which was
so beautiful had to be received with equal honour. but how to receive a bird? the prince had his
own ways.
the prince ordered a solemn reception, offered the sea bird wine in the sacred precinct,
called for musicians to play the compositions of shun, slaughtered cattle to nourish it. dazed with
symphonies the unhappy sea bird died of despair.
although everything was done to receive the guest, nobody bothered who the guest was. the
guest was received according to the host, not according to the guest, and that killed the poor bird.
many of you are simply dead because of the host. nobody looks at you. a child is born and
the parents start thinking what to make of him. even before he is born they start thinking.
i was staying in the home of a friend. the friend is a professor in a university, and his wife is
also a professor. both are very intelligent persons with gold medals and certificates and ph.d.'s. i
saw their daughter -- they have only one daughter -- playing on the piano, weeping and crying. so
i asked her mother: what is the matter? the mother said: i always wanted to be a musician and my
parents wouldn't allow it. this is not going to happen again to my daughter -- she has to be a
musician. i have suffered so much because my parents wouldn't allow me, they forced me to be a
professor. i am not going to force my daughter to be a professor, she is going to be a musician!
and the daughter was crying and weeping!
you are so confused because of others: your mother wants you to be one thing, your father
something else. it is bound to be so because they never agree, fathers and mothers, they never
agree.
mulla nasrudin's son told me: i would like to be a doctor but my mother insists that i have to
be an engineer. so what can i do? i said: you do one thing. you spread the rumour that your father
wants you to be an engineer. so now he is a doctor
they are always opposed, father and mother, and their opposition goes deep within you, it
becomes an inner conflict. your father and your mother may be dead, no longer in this world, but
they are within your unconscious -- still fighting. they will never leave you in peace. whatsoever
you do, your father says do it, then your mother says don't. your inner conflict is your parent's
conflict. and then there are uncles and brothers and sisters and many relatives and you are alone
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amidst so many well-wishers. and they all want you to be something according to them. they
destroy you. and then the whole of your life becomes a confusion -- you don't know what you
want to be, you don't know where you want to go, you don't know what you are doing and why
you are doing it. then you feel miserable. misery comes if you cannot grow to be a natural being;
if you cannot grow according to yourself.
this happened to that sea bird and this has happened to all sea birds -- you are all sea birds.
one day you landed in a womb in the capital of lu, you were received with great pomp and show.
astrologers decided what was to be done, musicians welcomed you with their music, parents with
their love. and all together they have made you just insane and nothing else.
a wise man receives you not according to him, he receives you according to you. the sea
bird was killed by the musicians and their beautiful symphonies. and the prince was doing
everything right: this was how a guest had to be received.
how should you treat a sea bird? as yourself, or as a bird?
always give the opportunity to the other to be himself -- that is what understanding is, that
is what love is. don't force yourself on others. your wishes may be good, but the result will be
bad. a good wish is not enough in itself; it may turn poisonous. the real point is not your good
wish. the real point is to give freedom to the other to be himself or herself.
allow your wife to be herself; allow your husband to be himself; allow your child to be
himself -- don't force.
we are all sea birds, unknown to each other, strangers. nobody knows who you are. at the
most, all we can do is to help you to be whatsoever you are going to be. and the future is
unknown; it cannot be forced. and there is no way to know it, no astrology will help, these are all
foolish methods. people depend on them because people are stupid. astrologers continue to exist
because we go on wanting to know about the future so that we can plan. life cannot be planned; it
is an unplanned flood -- and it is good that it is unplanned. if it is planned then everything will be
dead and boring. it is good that nobody is able to predict the future, it is good that the future
remains unknown, unpredictable, because there lies the whole freedom. if the future becomes
known, then there is no freedom left, then you will move like a predictable mechanism. but that is
what we want, or that is what we try to do.
if you are a little understanding, give others around you freedom to be themselves and don't
allow anybody to interfere with your freedom. don't make anybody a slave to you and don't
become a slave to anybody. this is what sannyas is. this is my meaning of sannyas. it is a man
who has decided not to enslave anybody and not to be enslaved by anybody; a man who has
decided to remain authentically true to himself, and wheresoever this truth leads, he is ready to
go.
this is courage -- because it may lead you into insecurity and you would like to be more
secure; so you will listen to others and their well-wishing and then their symphonies will kill you.
they have already killed you. why do you listen to others? because you feel that they know more.
i heard-one small child asking his elder brother something. the small one was five and the
elder was ten. the junior was saying to the senior: you go to mother and ask for her permission so
that we can go to the theatre. so the senior said: but why not you? why don't you go? the junior
said: you have known her longer than me.
this is the old problem. you listen to your mother because she has known this world longer
than you. you listen to your father because he has known this world longer than you. but do your
think that just by being here a long time anybody knows anything? do you think time gives
understanding? do you think seniority is wisdom? then go to the government offices and look at
the senior people there. seniority may be wisdom in a government office but it is not in life.
life is not understood through time, it is understood through meditation. it is a going
inwards. time is an outer movement time is on the periphery. a man can live for a thousand years
and remain stupid. actually he will become more stupid because he will grow. and if you have a
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seed of stupidity in you within a thousand years you will become such a vast tree that millions of
stupid people can rest under you. whatsoever you have, grows; nothing is static, everything is
growing. so a stupid person becomes more stupid, a wise person becomes more wise -- but time
has nothing to do with understanding.
understanding is not temporal, it is not more experience. it is not the quantity of experience
that makes you wise, it is the quality. a single experience can give you more wisdom, if you bring
the quality of awareness to it, than you may gain in many lives. a man may have made love to
many women, thousands of women, thousands of times. do you think he knows what love is?
there is quantity! you ask a byron, a don juan, there is quantity. don juans keep records, they go
on counting how many women they have conquered. there is quantity, but have they known love?
one single love can give you wisdom if you bring quality to it. the quality has to be brought by
you. what is that quality? that quality is awareness. if you make love to a single woman for a
single time, with your total being, fully alert, you have come to know what love is. otherwise you
can go on and on and on, it becomes a repetition. and then you need not do anything, the wheel
repeats by itself, it becomes automatic. wisdom is something that happens when you bring
awareness to any experience. the meeting of awareness and experience is wisdom. experience
plus awareness is wisdom. with experience plus more experience plus more experience quantity
is gained, but there is no quality.... which would make you free and knowing.
whenever a child is born, if the mother loves the child if the father loves the child, they will
not force themselves on him because they will know at least this much: they have been failures.
so why give the same pattern to this child? why destroy another life again? but look at the
stupidity. they would like the child to follow their path. and they have not reached anywhere, and
they know deep down that they are empty, hollow, but again they are forcing a child to move on
the same path, to reach the same hollowness in the end. why? because it feels good to the ego to
know that 'my child is following me'.
you may not have reached anywhere but if your son is following you it gives you a good
feeling. as if you have attained, the son is following you. and if you are not satisfied by a son,
then you can gather followers, disciples. and there are many who are always ready to fall into
anybody's trap; because people are so unfulfilled that they are ready to follow anybody's advice.
and the problem is that because of others' advice they are unfulfilled -- and they go on asking for
it again and again. mind is a vicious thing. you are so empty and hollow because you have been
following others' advice; yet again you are searching for others to advise you. when will you
become aware that basically you are missing because you have not followed your inner voice?
so a master cannot give you rules. if a master gives you rules, know well he is a pseudo-
master. escape from him! a master can only give you understanding, and show you how to
understand yourself -- then rules will come but they will come out of your understanding.
how should you treat a sea bird? as yourself, or as a bird?
ought not a bird to nest in deep woodland or fly over meadow and marsh? ought it not to
swim on river and pond, feed on eels and fish, fly in formation with other water fowl, and rest in
the reeds?
bad enough for a sea bird to be surrounded by men and frightened by their voices. that was
not enough! they killed it with music.
everybody is being killed by music. that music comes out of good wishing, the well-
wishers, the do-gooders. the whole thing seems to be so absurd and insane. if you plant one
thousand trees and only one comes to flower and nine hundred and ninety nine die, will anybody
call you a gardener? will anybody give you any credit for the one tree that has flowered? they will
say it must have flowered in spite of you because you killed nine hundred and ninety-nine. you
cannot take credit for the one, it must have escaped somehow! it must have escaped your skill,
your experience, your wisdom. in millions of men one becomes a buddha and flowers. what is
happening? why do many trees have to live without flowers? and look at a tree when there are no
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flowers and flowers never come. what sadness settles on the tree. it cannot laugh; it cannot sing;
it cannot dance. flowers are needed to dance. how can you dance? even if i say to you, 'dance!'
how can you dance? because dance is an overflowing delight, such an overflowing that every cell
of the body starts dancing, you become a dancing cosmos. but how can you? the energy is not
flowing, there is no energy coming. you are somehow carrying yourself, dragging yourself. how
can you dance? flowers come when the tree has so much that it can give. flowers are a gift, they
are a sharing. the tree is saying to the whole universe: i am more than i need. it is a song. the tree
is saying: now i move into the world of luxury. my needs are fulfilled. the tree has more than it
needs -- then flowering happens.
and you are so discontented, you don't have even as much as you need. how can you dance?
how can you sing? how can you meditate?
meditation is the ultimate flowering, the ecstasy that comes only when you are overflowing
in a flood, when you have so much energy that you cannot sit, you can only dance; when you
have so much energy that you cannot do anything but share and invite guests to share your energy
and your delight, your singing and your dancing.
it happened that one of my university teachers came to see me. he said: you must remember
that i was your teacher. so i told him: yes, i remember. how can i forget? it is in spite of you that i
am whatsoever i am. you could not succeed with me. you tried and i will always feel thankful
towards you that you failed. you couldn't succeed.
he really loved me and he tried in every way to force me into the academic world. he loved
me so much and he cared so much about me that whenever there would be an examination, in the
morning he would come with his car and take me to the examination hall, because he was always
afraid that i may not go or that i may be meditating. before examinations he would come to tell
me: read this, read this, read this. this is coming up, because i am the paper-setter. and again and
again he would remind me: have you read that or not? and know well that i am the paper setter
and that is coming up. he was always afraid that i wouldn't listen to him.
he loved me. your parents also loved you, your teachers also loved you, but they are
unconscious, they don't know what they are doing. even though they love you something goes
wrong, and that something is that they try to give you something according to themselves. he
wanted me to become a great university professor, somewhere in some great university head of a
department, or a dean or a vice chancellor. he imagined these things and i always laughed and
asked him: what will i gain through this? what have you gained? you are a head of the
department, a dean with so many degrees -- honorary doctor of literature, and this and that --
what have you gained? and he would smile knowingly and say: you just wait and do whatsoever i
am saying. because at this question, 'what have you gained?' he would always feel a little
perplexed, confused.
what could he say? he had not gained anything and now he was nearing death. he would
have liked his ambition to move through me. he would have liked me to carry his ambition.
a father dies unfulfilled, but he hopes that at least his son will reach the goal. and this is
how it goes on and on, and nobody reaches. love is not enough; awareness is needed. if love is
there without awareness it becomes an imprisonment and if love is there with awareness it
becomes a freedom. it helps you to be yourself.
bad enough for a sea bird to be surrounded by men and frightened by their voices. that was
not enough! they killed it with music!
water is for fish and air for men. natures differ, and needs with them. hence the wise men of
old did not lay down one measure for all.
you cannot be treated as things. things can be similar; souls cannot be. you can have one
million ford cars just the same. you can replace one ford car with another ford car and there will
be no trouble, but you cannot replace a human being. when a human being disappears, that place
that he occupied will always remain forever and forever unoccupied. nobody can occupy it, it is
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impossible to occupy it, because nobody can be exactly the same as that man was. everybody is
unique so no rules can be laid down.
the wise men of old... but if you go to the wise men of today you will find rules and
regulations and everything -- a framework. they will make you a soldier but not a sannyasin. a
soldier is a dead man because his whole function is to bring death into the world. he cannot be
allowed to be very alive, otherwise how will he bring death? death can only come through a dead
man. he has to kill. and before he kills others he has to be killed completely himself, through
rules. so the whole army training is to kill the aliveness of the person, the consciousness of the
person -- to make him an automaton. so they go on saying to him, 'right turn, left turn, right turn,
left turn,' for years together! what nonsense is going on? why right turn, why left turn? but there
is a point to it -- they want to make you an automaton. right turn -- and every day for hours you
are doing it. it becomes a bodily phenomenon. when they say, 'right turn!' you need not think
about it, the body simply moves. when they say, 'left turn!' the body simply moves. now you are a
mechanism. and when they say, 'about!' you shoot; the body moves, the consciousness does not
interfere.
the whole point of army training all over the world is to cut consciousness from your
actions so that the actions become automatic, you become more efficient, skilled. because
consciousness is always a trouble... if you are killing a person and you think -- you will miss. if
you think: why kill this man? he has not done anything to me. i don't even know who he is, he is
a stranger. if you think, you will also have the feeling that you have a mother at home, a wife, a
small child, who are waiting for you, and the same is going to be the case with the other. a mother
must be waiting somewhere, a wife praying that her husband will come back, a child hoping that
his father will be back. why kill this man and kill those hopes of a child, of a wife, of a mother, of
a father, brother, friends? why kill this man?
and he has not done anything wrong to you, just two politicians have gone mad. they can go
and fight with each other and decide the matter. why decide through others?
if you are alert, aware, it will be impossible for you to shoot and kill. so the whole training
of the army is to divide awareness and action, to cut and create a gap. so awareness continues on
its own. and action continues on its own and they become parallel, they never meet.
just the opposite is the training of a sannyasin: it is how to destroy the gap that exists
between consciousness and action -- how to bring them together. they should not be parallel lines,
they should become one whole. it is how to be conscious in each of your actions, how not to be
an automaton. and when all your automatism disappears you have become enlightened; then you
are a buddha.
through rules this cannot be done. through rules you can be made a soldier but you cannot
be made a sannyasin. all rules have to be dropped; understanding has to be gained. but remember,
dropping the rules does not mean that you become anti-social. dropping the rules only means that
because you exist in the society you follow certain rules, but they are just rules of the game --
nothing else.
if you play cards then you have rules: a certain card is the king, another card is the queen.
you know that this is foolishness, no card is the king, no card is the queen; but if you want to play
the game, certain rules have to be followed. they are rules of the game, nothing is ultimate about
them. you have to follow the traffic rules.
remember, the whole of morality is nothing but traffic rules. you live in a society, you are
not alone there, there are many others. certain rules have to be followed but they are not ultimate,
they have nothing of ultimacy in them. they are just like walking on the left. in america you walk
on the right -- no problem. if the rule is followed, keep to the right, it is okay. if the rule is
followed, keep to the left, it is also okay. both are the same but one has to be followed. if you
have both the rules then there will be traffic jams and there will be difficulty -- unnecessary
difficulty.
when you live with others, life has to follow certain rules. those rules are neither religious,
nor moral, nor divine, they are just man-made. one has to be aware of this, one has to know their
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relativity; they are formal.
that is why chuang tzu says: hence the wise men of old did not lay down one measure for
all. they have not laid down any measures really. they have attempted, through many ways and
means, to awaken you. you are so fast asleep, i can hear your snoring! how to awaken you? how
to shock you towards awareness? and when you are awake, no rules are needed. still you follow
rules but you know no rules are needed. you don't become a criminal, you transcend and become
a sannyasin.
***** chapter 7 : autumn floods *****
17 october 1974 am in buddha hall
the autumn floods had come. thousands of wild torrents poured furiously into the yellow
river. it surged and flooded its banks until, looking across, you could not tell an ox from a horse
on the other side.
then the river god laughed, delighted to think that all the beauty in the world had fallen into
his keeping.
so downstream he swung, until he came to the ocean. there he looked out over the waves
toward the empty horizon in the east, and his face fell.
gazing out at the far horizon he came to his senses and murmured to the ocean god. well,
the proverb is right. he who has got himself a hundred ideas thinks he knows more than anybody
else. such a one am i. only now do i see what they mean by expanse!
the ocean god replied: can you talk about the sea to a frog in a well? can you talk about ice
to dragonflies? can you talk about the way of life to a doctor of philosophy?
life is experience, and not theory. it needs no explanation. it is there in all its glory, just to
be lived, enjoyed, delighted in. it is not a riddle, it is a mystery. a riddle is something which can
be solved, a mystery is something which can never be solved. a mystery is something you can
become one with, you can dissolve into it, you can melt into it -- you yourself can become
mysterious. this is the difference between philosophy and religion. philosophy thinks that life is a
riddle, you have to solve it, find explanations, theories, doctrines. philosophy thinks that there is
going to be some answer, that life is a question mark and one has to work hard at it. of course, if
you take life as a question mark, your effort becomes intellectual. the very assumption that life is
a question leads you into more and more intellectual efforts, and in search of an answer, you
decide upon theories.
religion says that to take life as a question is basically false. it is not a question -- it is there,
with no question mark. it is there as an open secret; it is an invitation. you have to become a
guest, you have to move into it. it is ready and welcoming, don't fight with it! it is not a question,
don't try to solve it! it is not a riddle. come and become one with it, and you will know it. the
knowing will come from your totality, not from the intellect. intellect is a partial effort, and life
needs you to be totally with it, to flow with it, so one with it that you cannot feel what is what,
you cannot feel where you end and where life begins. the whole of life becomes you, the whole of
you becomes life. this is what salvation is. it is not a solution, it is a salvation.
this is what hindus have called moksha: it is not a theory, a conclusion, it is a totally
different way to live with existence. it is not head-oriented; really, you become 'headless,' you
lose all distinctions, the periphery dissolves, you are just like a drop in the ocean. you lose your
boundaries and you gain the cosmic boundaries which are infinite. the first thing to understand is
not to take life as a question. once you take it as a question you will be in trouble; you will have
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already moved on a wrong path -- it will be a cul-de-sac. somewhere, in some theory, you will be
stuck. everybody is stuck somewhere in a theory, and then it is very difficult to drop the theory.
you cling to it because the question scares you -- at least a theory is some consolation, at least you
feel that you know. you don't know. mind cannot know, mind can only theorise. it can go on
spinning words faster and faster; it can play with words, arrange them, but they are all
interpretations -- not the real, just your interpretation of it.
it is just like a map. you see the map of india? you can go on carrying that map with you,
you can go on thinking that you are carrying india in your pocket, but the map is not the country.
you can have a theory about a rose, about what a rose is. you can even have a photograph of a
rose, but that photograph is just a photograph, it carries nothing of the living phenomenon that a
rose is.
look at a child -- he is still without a mind. he opens his eyes and just looks at the world.
bring a rose to him. he does not know the name, he cannot label it, he cannot categorise it, he
cannot say what it is. still the rose is there -- the colours flood the child, the beauty of the rose
surrounds him, the fragrance reaches to his very heart. he does not know what it is but he passes
through a living moment. you tell the child, 'this is a rose,' and the experience will never again be
the same, never again will the child be able to experience what the mystery of the rose was. now,
whenever a rose comes before him he will say: this is a rose. now he will carry the word. you
have made him poor -- he was very rich. the whole rose was there, and he could only live it; there
was no other way to describe it, to define it. a rose is a rose is a rose. you cannot say what it is,
this or that. the child was silent, there was no functioning of the mind, the mind was not there,
there was no barrier. the heart of the rose melted into the heart of the child, the heart of the child
melted into the heart of the rose. the child could not even say where he ended and the rose began,
where the rose ended and he began -- there were no boundaries. they became one in that moment
of awe. for a single moment they were not two -- oneness happened. but you have told him: this
is a rose. now, the experience will never be there again. the moment the rose is there, immediately
the mind will say: this is a rose. the mystery is lost, now there is an answer, now the child knows.
what absurdity! now you will say the child is growing in knowledge. but just the opposite is the
case.
before you told him what was what, he knew, but he knew with his totality. it was not
knowledge, it was experiencing. but then you thought he was ignorant. now you think he knows
because he carries a word in his mind. the word 'rose' is not rose, the word 'god' is not god, the
word 'love' is not love. but we go on accumulating these words. and then there are clever minds
who arrange these words into interpretations, theories and arguments. and the more
argumentative, the more theoretical you become, the further you move from the rose.
then even echoes become impossible: nothing comes to you, you never go to anything --
you simply live in the mind, arranging words.
i have heard an anecdote: three jews were going for a morning walk. they were friends, old
friends, discussing many things. then they saw the mayor's big car pass by and the mayor waved
his hand and said: hello! now there was trouble. the first one said: don't get so happy; he said
'hello' to me -- and he has to. the two asked: what do you mean? the first one said: i have taken
ten thousand dollars from him; i borrowed the money, and for two years he has been waiting and
waiting. he had to say 'hello' to me.
the other one said: you are wrong, the 'hello' was said to me -- and he had to. the reason is
that i have lent him ten thousand dollars. he owes money to me and he is always afraid of me. the
moment he sees me, he gets scared -- he has to.
the third laughed and the two others turned to him and said: what do you mean? why are
you laughing? he said: he had to say 'hello' to me, not to you -- there you are both wrong. he
neither owes money to me nor do i owe money to him. why shouldn't he give me a clean 'hello'?
once you start looking at reality through the mind then everything becomes a problem; then the
ego start interpreting and then you have only interpretations. you may have proofs for them, and
those proofs may look reasonable, but only to you, not to anybody else -- because it is your ego
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that gives those interpretations. and you get more and more fixed in your interpretations because
you have invested so much in them.
if somebody says something which goes against christianity, a christian feels hurt. if
somebody says something against hinduism, a hindu feels hurt. why? if you are really a truth
seeker, as religious people say they are, why should you get hurt? you should enquire -- he may
be right. but the ego is involved. it is not a question of hinduism being right or wrong, it is a
question of you being right or wrong. how can you be wrong? if you are wrong, then your image
starts shaking -- you cannot be wrong. then for small things, very small things, you start fighting
and arguing. but the real fight, the basis of all fight, is that you are fighting against life. with your
answers you are trying to conquer life; with your theories you are trying to manipulate life. and
you think that if you know the theories then you will be the master.
through knowledge you strengthen your ego. so if somebody says there is no knowledge
through the mind the ego simply becomes deaf. it never listens to it because it is dangerous. the
mind says: this is also a theory. the mind says: even anti-philosophy is a philosophy, even chuang
tzu is a philosopher. then everything is settled and you move again into your interpretations. but
remember, chuang tzu is not a philosopher -- neither am i.
philosophy is an attitude towards life. attitude means a choice. and choice can only be
fragmentary. a mystic never chooses. he looks at the whole without any choice on his part, he
does not become a chooser. if you choose, then there is a problem immediately because life is
contradictory; life exists through contradictions, and it is beautiful how life manages the
impossible. the night and the day exist as neighbours, not neighbours really -- the day melts into
the night and becomes the night; the night melts again into the day and becomes the day. love and
hate exist together: the love melts and becomes the hate, the hate melts and becomes the love. life
and death exist together: life goes on melting into death and death goes on melting again into life.
existence is contradictory, but there is a deep harmony between the opposite polarities.
for the mind this looks impossible, this cannot be. how can the opposite exist together? how
can there be a harmony between life and death? how can there be a harmony between hate and
love? the mind says: love is never hate and hate is never love. the mind says: a is a and b is b and
a is never b. mind is logical and life is contradictory, that is why they never meet. so if you say
that this man is good, you cannot believe that this man is also bad. but life is such: the sinner
exists in the saint and the saint exists in the sinner. only logic is clean-cut, with boundaries.
definitions.
life is not clean-cut, it moves into the opposite. just look... you can be a saint this moment
and a sinner the next. what is the problem for life? you can be a sinner this moment and the next
moment you can rise above it and become a saint. what is the problem?
look at the inside phenomenon: how things melt into the opposite, how opposites exist
together. you were happy, happy like a flower, happy like a star, and suddenly you become sad.
look... is this sadness something separate from your happiness? or has the same energy become
sadness? who was happy and who is sad? are there two persons within you or the same person
having moods? and the same energy goes on moving: sometimes it is sad and sometimes it is
happy. if you understand this then you don't create a contradiction between the two. and then your
sadness has a flavour of happiness and your happiness has a depth of sadness also.
if a buddha is sad you will see a blissful feeling in his sadness, you will see an undercurrent
of compassion. his sadness is beautiful. and if a buddha is happy, and if you look deep and
observe him, you will feel that in his happiness there is a depth -- just the same depth as there
always is with sadness. his happiness is not shallow. with you the problem is that whenever you
are happy you are shallow; but whenever you are sad you may be deeper, less shallow. that is why
laughter has a ring of shallowness. if you laugh it seems you are laughing just on the periphery,
but when you weep, you weep from the heart. it is easy to pretend laughter, it is very difficult to
pretend tears. if they do not come it is impossible to bring them. you can force smiles, you cannot
force tears. the more you force, the more you will feel they won't come, the more the eyes will be
dry. your sadness has a depth, your laughter has a shallowness.
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but when buddha laughs, he laughs as deeply as tears can go; and when he weeps, he weeps
as beautifully as you smile. the contradictions have lost their 'contradictoriness', they have
become one. that is why to understand buddha is difficult because he has become as contradictory
as existence itself. he is an absurdity -- now he is a mystery himself.
a religious person is in search of the truth, a philosopher is in search of interpretations.
i have heard that once it happened in a men's club that three professors of philosophy were
discussing, in a panel discussion, what is most beautiful in a woman. the one philosopher said: it
is the eyes -- the eyes carry the whole of the woman, they are the most beautiful part in a
feminine body. the second one said: i don't agree. the hair is the most beautiful part of a feminine
face and body, it gives it the beauty and the mystery. and the third said: i don't agree with you,
you both are wrong -- it is the legs, the way a woman walks, the curves of her legs, just the
marbleness of her legs, that gives her the whole feminine beauty.
one woman, an old woman, who was listening very seriously to this discussion, elevated
her nose and said: i must get out of here before one of you boys says the truth!
a woman is not a philosopher, she has no theories -- she knows.
a religious person has an intuitive grasp -- it is not intellect, it is his whole being. he feels
rather than knows. and feeling hits the centre. so remember one thing -- through philosophy you
will never reach the truth, you will just go about and about and about.
omar khayyam has said in his 'rubaiyat': when i was young i did frequent doctor and saint.
about and about they argued and i came out by the same door as i went in. he visited so many
philosophers, so many saints -- but they talked about and about and he had to come back by the
same door.
nothing is gained, only life is wasted. the sooner you become alert, the better. the sooner
you become aware and drop out of the trap of philosophy, the better. because life will not wait for
you and your theories, it is moving fast. soon death will happen and you will die with your
theories in your hand; and they won't help, they are just dead ashes. chuang tzu says: live, don't
think! that is all that those who have known have always said: live, don't think! drop thinking and
become a being -- your totality is required. it is okay that for science you use your head, it is okay
that for art you use your heart, but for religion you in your totality are required. if the head
functions alone it produces dry theories; if the heart functions alone it creates fictions, dreams.
your totality is required. and when you function totally you reach the total that is the universe --
you become the same, and only the similar can know it. if you become total in your small circle
then the total of the vast circle, the brahman, is ready to receive you. this is one thing.
the second thing before we enter this parable is that mind is always conditioned. it cannot
be unconditioned. being is unconditioned, mind is a conditioning. mind is always trained by the
society in which you live, trained by the experiences through which you pass. so a frog has a frog
mind -- he lives in a well, that is his whole universe. and you also have a frog mind because you
also live in a well; the well of the hindu, the well of the mohammedan, the well of the christian or
the jew. and you have a boundary -- it may be invisible, but then it is more dangerous because
you can jump out of visible boundaries more easily. invisible boundaries... you never feel that
they are there so they just cling to you. it is easier for a frog to come out of his well than for you
to come out of your hinduism, your christianity. it is difficult, because the well is invisible. a frog
lives in a fixed well -- he can jump out of it. you live in a well that you carry around you; it is like
a climate, always surrounding you; it is your invisible personality. wherever you go you carry
your well with you, you remain in it; whatsoever you see, you see through it.
all interpretations come from conditioning -- and only one who is unconditioned can know
the real, can know the true. a hindu cannot know god, a christian cannot know, a jew cannot know
-- because these are minds. only someone who has come to realise that he is neither a hindu, nor a
mohammedan, nor a christian -- only he can know.
an indian cannot know the truth, a japanese cannot know the truth, a chinese person cannot
know the truth, because truth has no boundaries. nationalities create conditionings, they have to
be dropped. one has to become absolutely naked before the truth, with no clothes, no
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conditionings; neither a hindu, nor an indian, nor a mohammedan, nor chinese -- just a being, a
pure being with nothing to cling to. then you are out of the well. and if you cling to the well, how
can you reach the ocean? and if you carry the conditionings of the well, even if the ocean is there
you won't believe it, you won't see it, because your eyes will be closed to this vastness. they can
know only that which is narrow, like a well.
the third thing to be remembered is that mind always wants to live with inferiors, it is
always afraid of the superior. so everybody goes on searching for the inferior -- friends, wife,
husband -- just the inferior to you, so you can feel superior.
in india, they have a proverb that a camel never wants to come to the himalayas. that is why
he lives in deserts -- there he is the himalayas. if he comes near the himalayas then what will
happen to the ego? that's why you escape whenever there is any fear for the ego. if you come to a
buddha you will escape, because a camel never wants to come to a himalaya. you like your desert
-- at least you are somebody there. george bernard shaw is reported to have said: if i am not the
first in heaven i would not like to go there. even hell is preferable if i am first. if i am to be
second in heaven, it is not for me.
he is saying something about you. just think, will you be at ease in heaven where you are
not the first, and you cannot be? because jesus will be there, buddha will be there, they are
already occupying the queue, you will be far behind. but in hell there is a possibility of your
being first -- and it is also easier. you can be in misery, but you would like to be first, the
foremost, somebody -- you would not like to be blissful and nobody. and this is the problem: only
nobodies can be blissful, somebodies will always be in misery because the very feeling that 'i
have to be somebody' creates misery. then you are in competition and conflict, then there is
continuous tension with everybody -- everybody else is the enemy. and the mind always seeks the
inferior, it surrounds itself with inferiors. then you become the supreme most.
look at this tendency. if it persists you will go on falling and falling and falling, and there is
no end to it. always seek the superior if you are really seeking the truth, because truth is the
superior most. if you are seeking the inferior then finally you will end with some ultimate lie.
if you really want to go to the divine, then seek the superior, because the superior is the
glimpse of it. always seek the superior. but then you have to be humble, then you have to bow
down, then you have to surrender. this is the problem for the ego, for the mind.
mind tends to seek the inferior, that is why mind can never reach the superior-most, the
highest peak of life. mind will finally reach hell -- mind is the hell, and no mind is heaven.
now we will try to penetrate this beautiful parable:
the autumn floods had come. thousands of wild torrents poured furiously into the yellow
river. it surged and flooded its banks until, looking across, you could not tell an ox from a horse
on the other side.
then the river god laughed, delighted to think that all the beauty in the world had fallen into
his keeping. so downstream he swung, until he came to the ocean. there he looked out over the
waves toward the empty horizon in the east, and his face fell.
gazing out at the far horizon he came to his senses and murmured to the ocean god: well the
proverb is right. he who has got himself a hundred ideas thinks he knows more than anybody
else. such a one am i. only now do i see what they mean by expanse!
the yellow river is one of the greatest rivers in the world, and one of the most dangerous.
and of course, when the river is in flood, autumn flood, and thousands and thousands of torrents,
streams, small rivers and rivulets, are falling into it, and it is flooded, it becomes a small ocean in
itself. and the river god thought: now there is nobody comparable to me, and the whole beauty of
the world has fallen into my keeping. now i am vast, incomparably vast, there is nobody else who
is so vast. this is what is happening to every ego. every ego is the yellow river.
when you are a child it is a small current -- just at the very source, not very big or vast. then
streams fall into it, you gather many experiences, much knowledge, certificates, money, wealth,
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prestige, respect. you go on gathering. thousands of torrents fall in and the river goes on
becoming vaster and vaster, bigger and bigger. this is the autumn flood that comes when you are
young -- then you think no one is comparable to you, you are incomparable. then you are filled
with the ego, puffed. everybody in his young age becomes puffed -- the autumn flood. and then
he thinks: now, the beauty of the whole world has fallen into my keeping. you ask any person.
whatsoever he says, don't listen. just look at the way he says it. he may say that he is a humble
man, but look in his eyes -- he is saying: i am the most humble man, there is no comparison to
me. he may be saying that he is not so beautiful as others; but look, he is waiting for you to
contradict, to say: no, you are wrong. and if you nod and say, 'yes, you are right,' you are creating
one more enemy. he was being diplomatic. what he wanted to say was something else but he
wanted to hear it from you.
in youth, everyone is in a flood, and then the whole outlook is tinged and coloured by the
ego. then you walk, then you talk, behave, relate, but everything is tinged, coloured, by the ego.
much misery of course happens because you are thinking yourself to be that which you are not,
and you are believing in the shadow. soon the flood will recede, the autumn is not going to be
forever. you will become old, torrents will not fall into you, streams will become dry, banks will
appear, summer will come, and this vast looking yellow river will become just a tiny stream. you
may become just a dry bed of sand and nothing else.
it happens in old age. then one feels very irritated, cheated -- as if existence has been
cheating you. nobody has cheated you, you simply magnified yourself foolishly. your own ego
created the whole problem -- now you feel cheated. you cannot find a man who is old and yet
happy. if you can find one, live with him -- he is a wise man. you can find happy young men, that
is nothing. if you can find a happy old man, that is something. when the summer has come and
the autumn flood is no more and an old man is happy, then he has known something else: he has
found some eternal source.
when you are young, you have a dance in your feet -- that is nothing, it is just the flood.
when you are old and everything has been taken back, nobody even remembers you, nobody
bothers about you; you are simply neglected, out of the way, thrown away like rubbish, garbage,
and you are still happy....
buddha has said that when you find an old man as happy as a youth, there is something
there -- bow down to him, listen and learn from him. in india, it was the tradition that whenever
we found an old man happy, dancing, we would make him a master. he would move to the forest,
he would create a small university around him -- a gurukul, a household of the master -- and
disciples would start pouring in from all over the country.
in india we have never made a young man a teacher. only an old man can be a teacher, and
that is right. exceptions may happen, but generally it is right. only an old man can be a teacher,
one who has lived through all seasons of life, who is seasoned and still happy and blissful. to be
in flood and happy is nothing special, it is ordinary, but to be happy and ecstatic when the stream
is almost dry, when only sands are left, when one's whole body is just a ruin.... to be alive at the
peak of life and to dance is nothing. but when death comes near and you go dancing to meet it,
then it is something. then the rare has happened, the extraordinary has entered into the world of
the ordinary, then the divine has penetrated.
if you are happy because you are young you will not be happy for long, soon your
happiness will be shattered. and if you can become aware before it is shattered, it is good. this is
the beauty: if you can become sad while you are young, you will be happy when you become old.
otherwise you will become sad because now this is just a flood. if you look at it, it is not you; it is
the thousand torrents falling into you that is giving you the impression that you are vast. soon that
which is given to you will be taken, and if you can be happy when everything is taken only then
is your happiness unshakeable. then your happiness has become bliss. this is the difference
between happiness and bliss.
happiness depends on others -- the thousand torrents falling in -- bliss depends just on you,
it is independent. it has no conditions to be fulfilled, it is unconditional. it is simply because of
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you; it has no casuality, nothing causes it. if you are happy with your girl friend, your boy friend,
your lover, then somebody is causing your happiness. soon it will be taken away, because it is an
autumn flood. seasons will change, the wheel of life will go on moving -- it will be taken away.
that which is caused cannot be forever; that which is uncaused can be forever. remember that
always whenever you are happy; remember... is it something uncaused or caused? if it is caused
then it is better to be sad, because it is going to be taken away. it is already on the way, it has
already left you -- sooner or later you will realise it has gone. because causation is part of the
world which is in a flux, this dream world that hindus have called maya, this illusion which goes
on moving like a dream. and if you believe in it, it becomes a nightmare. if you don't believe it,
you can discard it -- then you can look at the witness, which is uncaused.
the river god became swollen. so downstream he swung, until he came to the ocean. and
someday or other you will come to the ocean. what is the ocean? death is the ocean -- vast. life
has a source to it, death has no source. life has banks to it, sometimes flooded -- then it looks
vast; sometimes not flooded -- then it becomes a tiny stream. but death has no banks to it, it is
oceanic.
and just like every river has to come to the ocean, so every river of consciousness has to
come to death. wherever you are going, whatsoever path you choose, whichever direction, it
makes no difference -- you will reach the ocean. the ocean surrounds you in all directions. you
will reach death, and near death all your dreams will be shattered -- the whole ego will be shaken.
so downstream he swung, until he came to the ocean. there he looked out over the waves
toward the empty horizon in the east, and his face fell.
every old man, all old persons start looking backwards. old people always go into
memories, the days when they were something, somebody, the days when they were loved and
respected and honoured. they go on again and again. just listen to old men and you feel they are
very boring. why do you feel they are boring? why do you feel irritated? because they go on
repeating the same story of the old days. always they start in the good old days. why the good?
why aren't the days good now? no old man can believe that the days are good now -- they were
always in the past, the golden past, the good old days when things were like this and that. this is
not a question of things, or economic situations or political situations -- nothing. they were young
and everything was good. they were flooded. it happened that a chief justice of the supreme court
of the united states went to visit paris after he was retired. he had been once before, thirty years
before. his old wife was also with him. looking at paris for two or three days, he became very sad
and he said: we were waiting for this, to come and see paris, but nothing looks like it was before.
the wife laughed and said: everything is as it was before, only we are not young. paris remains the
same.
but now other rivers are in autumn flood. your summertime has come, and when you are
old how can paris be the same as when you were young? paris is the symbolic city of young
people indulging. there are cities in different seasons: varanasi is the city of the old people, paris
is the city of the young people. paris indulges, varanasi renounces. in india when people want to
die, they go to varanasi to live there and to die there -- it is the city of the old, the summertime.
when you become old, the whole world seems to be old and dying. but the world remains the
same, only you go on changing.
look, and drop your mind, then you are neither young nor old, then there are no seasons --
because the innermost spirit has no seasons to it, no autumn, no summer, nothing. it remains the
same, it is eternal. otherwise, whenever your river comes to the ocean your face will fall, you will
become sad -- sad and burdened with old memories, thinking about the past because now there is
no future. a child never thinks of the past because there is no past. a child is just fresh -- a blank
page. things are going to be written on it but as yet nothing is written. he cannot move backwards,
he always thinks of the future.
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ask a child and he is always thinking of how to grow, how to grow soon and fast, how to
become like daddy -- and he doesn't know what is happening to daddy. in what trouble daddy is,
he doesn't know. he wants to become powerful, strong, tall, somebody, soon. he would like a
miracle to happen -- to go to sleep at night and in the morning to be old and grown up. every
child thinks of the future. childhood thinks of the future, because for childhood there is expanse
in the future. seventy years to live -- nothing lived before. there is no past, that is why a child has
not much memory. if a child becomes angry, he forgets it immediately; immediately he can laugh
because there is not much past which can become a burden. he goes on forgetting the past
because his whole energy is moving towards the future; he cannot look back, no child looks back.
a young man in youth remains in the present. he is just in the middle, he lives here and now. no
need to go to the past because the present is so beautiful, he is so flooded, the ego is so high; no
need to go to the future because the future cannot be better than this.
there are old countries just like old men. for example, india is an old country, it always
thinks of the past, ancient ages. there are young countries, for example, america; it lives here and
now, just this moment. there are young countries, for example, china. china is a young country
now -- reborn, it looks to the future, much is going to happen, soon the world will become a
utopia.
countries move just like persons. young men live in the present, everything is so good,
nothing could be better. but this cannot continue forever. soon the old days set in and the old man
thinks of the past. mind is either in the past, or in the present, or in the future, because past,
present, and future are, all three of them, parts of mind. they are not tenses of time, but parts of
mind. but when you drop the mind you are in eternity; it is neither past nor present nor future.
you have transcended all three; then there is no season for you. then you are sad in your
happiness and you are happy in your sadness. then you are old in your youngness and you are
young in your oldness. then you are a child at the time of death and then you are an old man at
the time of birth.
it is said of lao tzu, the master of chuang tzu, that he was born old, eighty years old, that he
remained in his mother's womb for eighty years. it is a beautiful story. and it is said that he was
born old with a white beard, and white hair -- snow-white. this is just the other aspect of the coin.
jesus says: if you are a child again you will enter into the kingdom of god. this is one aspect. lao
tzu has another aspect; he says: if you are born old you have already entered. but both are the
same -- and this is the problem for the mind to understand: one who is born old will be a child
when he dies. if you are a child when born, you will be old when you die. so either become old
when you are born, which is difficult -- very, very difficult, but there are methods -- or die and
then become a child. but both are related, because life and death are a circle.
when you die here, you are born somewhere else. if you can die here as a child -- fresh,
unburdened, innocent -- you will be born old. because you will be so experienced, you will be so
wise, you will be old. that is what it means -- to be wise from the very first moment. if you die
fresh and young you will be born wise because wisdom happens in an empty and innocent mind.
and if you are born wise, old, you will not move in the ordinary foolishness that everybody is
prone to, and you will remain fresh, wise. then there is no death.
so a wise man is born only once, all other lives are just preparations. only once can he come
back before his final merging into the universe; before his mahanirvana, he can come once.
if you die almost a child you will be born once more, but you will be born as an old man.
you will be wise from the first day and then there will be no more birth; then you attain to the
birthless and deathless.
gazing out at the far horizon he came to his senses and murmured to the ocean god: well,
the proverb is right. he who has got himself a hundred ideas thinks he knows more than anybody
else. such a one am i. only now do i see what they mean by expanse!
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when you come to the superior, when you come to a man of tao, only then do you realise
what it means to be wise, what it means to be intelligent, what it means to be mature, what it
means to be expanding, what it means to be really conscious, total, integrated. when you come to
an enlightened person only then do you feel what it means to be here at all. before, you moved in
a dream, in shadows, you never came into the sunlight, you were never under the sky. you lived
in dark caves, caves of the ego.
the ocean god replied: can you talk about the sea to a frog in a well?
it is impossible, because the language differs. the frog in the well speaks the language of the
well.
you must have heard this story: once a frog from the ocean came and jumped into a well. he
got acquainted with the frog in the well and the well frog asked: from where do you come? he
said: i have come from the ocean. the well frog asked: is it bigger than this well? of course
suspicion was in his eyes, doubt in his mind: how can anything be bigger than this well, where i
live? the ocean frog laughed and said: it is very difficult to say anything because there is no
measure. the well frog said: then i will give you some measure so you can. he jumped one quarter
of the well, one fourth of the way up, and said: is it that big? the ocean frog laughed and said: no.
so he jumped up half of the well, and said: is it that big? again the ocean frog laughed and said:
no. then he jumped three quarters and said: is it that big? again the ocean frog said: no. then he
jumped the whole well, the whole length, and said: now, now you cannot say no. the ocean frog
said: you may feel hurt, and i don't want to be offensive, but still the answer is no. then the well
frog said: get out from here, you liar. nothing can be bigger than this well!
whenever you doubt it is always the well frog in you. nothing can be bigger than you,
nothing can be higher than you, nothing can be more divine than you, nothing can be holier than
you. no! that is why you go on rejecting buddhas, christs; you have to, because they come from
the ocean. they bring a message of the immeasurable, and you have your measuring sticks. you
should not be too hard on the well frog because what can he do? you can only have compassion;
you cannot be too hard because that is all he has known. he has never been to the ocean so how
can he conceive of it? hence the compassion of the buddhas. you go on disbelieving them and
they go on giving their compassion because they know -- what can you do? you have lived in a
well and for so long. a well frog even looks at the sky, but the sky is also surrounded by his well,
it is just a hole. even the sky is not bigger than his well because he cannot know that his well is
just a window and that the sky is not fixed in the window. but you are standing behind the
window. then the same structure of the window becomes the structure of your sky and you think:
the sky is the same as my window. this is how everybody thinks.
and buddhas cannot do anything else but be compassionate. jesus died on the cross and still
he said: god, forgive these people because they don't know what they are doing.
this is what that well frog was doing. and the ocean frog must have prayed in the depth of
his heart: god, forgive this frog because he does not know what he is doing and what he is saying.
he said: get out from here, you liar. you cannot deceive me, you must have some plans to deceive
me. i cannot believe in such an absurdity -- that anything can be bigger than this well.
the ocean god replied: can you talk about the sea to a frog in a well?
that is why buddhas cannot talk about what they know, it is impossible to communicate. it
is incommunicable because languages differ; you have a different pattern of language. if it is put
in that pattern of language then the ocean will have to be put in a well, but the ocean will not go,
so everything will become false. that is why buddhas go on saying: whatsoever we say, just by
saying it, it becomes untrue.
says lao tzu: the truth cannot be said. and that which can be said is no longer true. this is the
problem -- not the truth. you are the problem, and your language of the well is the problem, not
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truth. truth can be said, but then two buddhas are needed to talk about it. and they don't need to
talk about it because when two buddhas are there there is no need to say anything -- they show.
they are the truth. there is no need to talk. and whenever there is any need to talk the problem
arises.
can you talk about the sea to a frog in a well? can you talk about ice to a dragonfly?
the dragonfly lives in fire; how can you talk about ice to a dragonfly? she has never known
it, ice never existed for her, fire is her world. you can talk about fire, you cannot talk about ice.
you cannot say that there are things as cold as ice. she will not believe you because to her
everything is fire.
can bliss be taught to you -- to you who live in the fire of misery and dukkha? can bliss be
taught to you who live in anguish, who are dragonflies? how can you understand the cool of a
buddha? you cannot understand. how can you understand that in the head of a buddha there are
no thoughts moving, no clouds. you don't know, you have not even had a glimpse; not even for a
single moment has the process of thought stopped. you know your head as a mad crowd, how can
you believe that a buddha simply sits and there is not a thought in his head. that is inconceivable.
you live in fire; buddha lives in a cool, very cool world. and there is no bridge between fire and
ice. unless you become cooler and cooler and cooler you will not be able to understand. buddha
becomes communicable only when you become more silent and cool, otherwise everything is
missed.
and can you talk about the way of life to a doctor of philosophy?
impossible! and i will tell you that it is possible sometimes to talk about the sea to a well
frog, it is possible to talk about ice to a dragonfly, but it is not possible to talk about truth to a
philosopher, to a doctor of philosophy. why? because howsoever small the well may be it is still
part of the ocean -- at least the water is part of the ocean. and howsoever opposite the fire may be
to the ice, they are degrees of the same phenomenon.
heat and cold are not two things, but the same energy. energy becomes heat, the same
energy becomes cold; the energy is the same, degrees differ. that's why with one thermometer you
can measure both heat and cold, because the energy is the same. where does cold become heat,
can you say exactly where? at which degree does the cold cease to be cold and become heat? you
cannot say, it depends.
try a simple experiment. put one hand, your left hand, on an ice cube and your right hand
near a fire. let the right hand become hot, let the left hand become cool. then put both the hands
together in a bucket of water and tell me whether it is cool or hot. you will be in difficulty,
because one hand will say it is hot, and one hand will say it is cool, it is cold. what is it -- cold or
hot? they are degrees of the same energy.
so i say to you, even to a well frog it is possible to communicate something about the sea.
and if the messenger is really inventive, he can create devices to communicate. that is what a
buddha is doing, a jesus is doing -- creating devices to communicate something of the sea to well
frogs -- because there is one thing in common, the water. if there is one thing in common, then
communication is possible, a bridge exists.
even to a dragonfly something can be communicated about ice. even if we say it is not hot
like the fire, something has been said about the ice -- negative, of course. that is why all great
scriptures are negative. they don't say what truth is. they always say what truth is not, just to
make the message meaningful to dragonflies. so we cannot say what the ice is, but we can say
that the ice is not fire -- this much can be communicated.
but even by that method it is impossible to talk to a philosopher about the way of life, or to
talk to a philosopher about existence. even if the philosopher is an existentialist, then too it is
impossible to talk about existence, because between a word and the corresponding reality there is
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no bridge. a rose and the word 'rose' are not related in any way,' all relationship is arbitrary. what
is the relationship between the word 'rose' -- r,o,s,e -- and the rose? if there is some relationship
then you cannot call it gulab. there are three hundred languages in the world and three hundred
words for rose; there is no relationship, all relationship is arbitrary. cold is related to hot, well is
related to the ocean. their relationship, howsoever indistinct, is there -- real, not arbitrary.
but between a word and reality there is no relationship, they are not related at all. so you
can have your own words, a private language, you can call anything by any name. if you like to
call it something else the rose will not fight in a court. and nobody can prove that their word is
more correct than yours, nobody can prove it because no word is more correct or less correct --
words are irrelevant, they are not related. and a philosopher lives in words. a philosopher is the
falsest thing in existence, and the more you become philosophic, the less you live. then you think
about love, you never love, then you think about god, you never become divine. then you go on
talking and talking and talking and your whole energy is wasted in words, there is not a single
moment to enter into existence.
chuang tzu says be aware of all philosophies because their base is the same -- they depend
on words. and reality is not a word. move into the real -- you are real, existence is real -- move
into the real. don't create a wall of words between you and reality otherwise it is impenetrable,
you will be closed in, within your wall. and then it will become almost impossible to come out of
it.
don't be a philosopher -- and everybody is a philosopher. it is difficult to find a man who is
not a philosopher. some philosophers are good, some bad, but everyone is a philosopher. some are
more logical, some are less, but everybody is a philosopher. drop out of the trip -- the trip of
philosophy. only then you enter the real, the existential.
***** chapter 8 : the turtle *****
18 october 1974 am in buddha hall
chuang tzu with his bamboo pole was fishing in the pu river.
the prince of chu sent two vice chancellors with a formal document: we hereby appoint you
prime minister.
chuang tzu held his bamboo pole. still watching pu river, he said: 'i am told there is a sacred
tortoise offered and canonised three thousand years ago, venerated by the prince, wrapped in silk,
in a precious shrine on an altar in the temple. what do you think? is it better to give up one's life
and leave a sacred shell as an object of cult in a cloud of incense for three thousand years, or
better to live as a plain turtle dragging its tail in the mud?'
'for the turtle' said the vice chancellor, 'better to live and drag its tail in the mud!'
'go home!' said chuang tzu. 'leave me here to drag my tail in the mud.'
every child is born sane, but every man becomes insane -- the whole of humanity is
neurotic. neurosis is not a problem for only a few people, the human being as such is neurotic.
and this neurosis is created through such a subtle mechanism that you cannot even become aware
of it. it has become an unconscious thing, it goes on influencing you, your behaviour, your
relationships, your whole life is coloured by it. but it has gone so deep into your roots that you
cannot find from where your misery, conflict, anxiety and neurosis have arisen. a few things have
to be understood then this story will become clear, and very helpful.
first, if you condemn yourself you are creating a division, and that division will be your
misery and your hell. if you condemn yourself, it means you condemn nature, and there is no
victory against nature, there cannot be. you are just a tiny part in a vast ocean of nature, you
cannot fight it.
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and all so-called religions teach you to fight it. they condemn nature and they acclaim
culture. they condemn nature, and they say: this is behaving just like animals, don't be like
animals! every parent is saying don't be like animals. what is wrong with animals? animals are
beautiful! but in your mind animals are something to be condemned, something bad, something
evil, something not worthy of you. you are superior, you are not an animal, you are born of the
angels.
and animals.... they are just to be used, exploited, you don't belong to them.
that is why when darwin first declared that man has come out of the same heritage as
animals, that he belongs to the animal world, the whole of humanity was against him. from every
church pulpit, from every temple, from every mosque, he was condemned as a heretic. they said
that he was teaching something absolutely wrong and if he were believed then the whole culture
will be lost.
but he was right. man is as natural as other animals, trees and birds; and trees and birds and
animals are not neurotic, they never go mad -- unless you put them in a zoo. in a zoo it happens,
animals do go neurotic. even to be in contact with man is dangerous. man is infectious.
sometimes dogs go mad, but never when they are wild, only when they are domesticated.
domestic animals go mad; living with man is living with something unnatural. in the wild no
animal commits suicide, no animal goes mad, no animal murders. but with man even animals turn
unnatural, they start doing things they have never done in the wild; they become homosexual,
they become neurotic, they murder, and sometimes they have even tried to commit suicide.
what happens when you bring a dog to your home? you immediately start teaching him, as
if he lacks something. he is perfect! every dog is born perfect. nature has given him everything
that is needed, he is already equipped, you need not teach him.
what are you doing? you are trying to make him a part of human society, and now the
trouble starts. now even the dog will learn to condemn himself. if he does something wrong,
inside he feels guilty; condemnation has entered.
i have heard that it happened once that a bum, a beggar, caught hold of a rich man and
asked for a dime, just for a cup of coffee. the rich man said: you seem to be healthy enough, why
are you wasting your life? why don't you go to work and help yourself? the bum said, with very
deep condemnation in his eyes: what! to help a bum like me?
you are continuously not accepting yourself. from the very beginning you have been taught
that nature is not enough, you have to be more than nature. and you have tried, and that effort has
failed -- it is impossible, you can never be more than nature. and if you try too much you will be
less than nature. you can never be more than nature because nature is perfect: nothing more is
needed, no polishing is needed, no effort is needed to make it better -- it cannot be made better.
but if you try too much you will fall from the perfection of nature and you will become a neurotic
animal.
man comes from animals, but he is not a higher animal, he has become a neurotic animal.
and the problem is that nobody teaches you to accept yourself and to accept your nature. worship
it, be thankful to the divine for it, be grateful to the whole!
whatsoever has been given to you has a meaning, it is significant. you cannot cut it down
and change. if you try, you will be in trouble. and you are in trouble -- everybody on this earth is
in trouble.
why does man condemn himself? why can't he accept nature? because through
condemnation the ego is created. there is no other way to create the ego.
to create the ego, you have to fight; to create the ego, you have to condemn something as
bad, and applaud something as good; to create the ego, first you have to create a god and a devil.
and then you have to fight with the devil and try to reach the god. a conflict is needed for the ego.
if there is no conflict, there cannot be any ego. just think... if there is no fight within you, if you
accept yourself totally -- you are happy as you are, deeply content, deeply satisfied, not even a
single note of complaint, thankful -- how can the ego exist? how can you say 'i am'? the more you
fight, the more 'i' is created.
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that is why if you go to your so-called saints you will find more neurotic people there than
anywhere. and this is something to be observed, that wherever there are many saints there are
many more madmen. madness exists less in the east, it exists more in the west. but if you simply
do ordinary arithmetic you will be surprised: in the east many mad people are worshipped as
saints, so they are not in madhouses. in the west, the same people who should be in the
madhouses are on the couch of the psychiatrist; they are not thought to be mad, but they are,
because ego is mad.
look at your saints. they have such subtle egos -- refined of course, polished, very
cultivated, decorated, but they are there.
if you fight with somebody else you cannot have a very subtle ego because with the other
the possibility of being defeated always exists. even if you have won, the other is there; any day
there is every chance he they gather strength and you may be defeated. a victory cannot be
absolute and you can never be certain; the enemy is there. and there is not only one enemy
outside, there are millions of enemies, because with whomsoever you compete, he is your enemy.
you will always be shaking and wavering, your ego cannot be on solid ground, you have made
your house on sand.
but if you are fighting with yourself, then you are working on solid ground, you can be
certain; you can be a more subtle egoist.
to have the 'i' you have to kill nature, because in nature no ego exists. trees are there, but
they don't know the 'i'; animals are there, but they don't know the ego -- they live unconsciously.
they simply live without any fight or struggle. when they are hungry they search for food; when
they are satisfied, they go to sleep. they make love, they eat, they sleep, they just exist, they don't
say, 'we are.' they are just waves in the vast ocean of life, they come and go without leaving any
trace. they have no history, no autobiography; they come and go as if they had never been there.
lions have existed, elephants have existed, but they don't have any history, they don't have
any autobiography. a lion comes like a vast big wave and then disappears; no trace is left behind.
ego leaves traces, footprints. if the ego wants not to die, autobiographies are written, history
is created. and then comes the whole foolishness -- neurosis. to create the ego, man has created a
conflict, and this conflict has two aspects: one aspect is with outer nature -- that is how science is
created. science is a fight with nature outside, nature without. that is why even a person like
bertrand russell goes on talking in terms of conquering nature. how can you conquer nature? how
can a wave conquer the ocean? it is patent foolishness! a part cannot conquer the whole; and if
the part tries, the part will go mad. the whole will not lose anything, the part will lose everything
because the part exists with the whole, never against it. science has become destructive because
of this conquering attitude.
and there is another aspect of conflict: that aspect you call religion.
one aspect is to fight nature outside; science is created, it is destructive. the ultimate goal
can never be anything other than hiroshima, and it will be reached -- the whole earth will become
a hiroshima. fighting leads to death, conflict ultimately leads to ultimate death; science is leading
towards that.
then there is the other conflict: the inner conflict, to fight with oneself. that is what you call
religion -- to conquer oneself. again the fight, and it too is destructive. science destroys nature
from the outside, and so-called religion destroys nature from the inside. chuang tzu is against
both types of conflict. so-called science and so called religion are not enemies, they are partners,
they have a deep affinity.
to understand chuang tzu and lao tzu, to understand tao, you will have to understand that
they don't believe in fighting of any sort. they say: don't fight, live just be in a let-go, so nature
can penetrate you and you can penetrate nature. they say: just be ordinary, don't try to be
extraordinary, don't try to be somebody, just be nobodies. you will enjoy more because you will
have more energy left, you will be full of energy.
there is tremendous energy, but it is dissipated in fighting; you divide yourself and you fight
from both sides and the energy is dissipated. the same energy can become ecstatic if allowed to
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move in an inner harmony, not fighting.
acceptance, accepting whatsoever is, is the basis of tao. tao does not create any 'ought'.
chuang tzu says: don't say to anybody that you ought to do this, you should do this, you ought not
to be like this. chuang tzu says these things are dangerous, you are poisoning. there is only one
thing to be followed and that is your nature: wherever it leads, trust it.
but we are afraid to follow nature, not because nature is bad, but because of the moral
teachers, because of the poisoners of the very source of life. they have taught you so many things,
so many toughts', that you cannot look directly at the 'is' -- that which is, you always look for the
'ought'. even if you look at a rose you immediately start to think how this rose ought to be; it
could be a little more red, it could be a little bigger, you could inject chemicals into it and it will
become bigger, you could paint it, it will become more red -- but you cannot accept it as it is.
small or big, red or not so red, it is there. why not enjoy it at this very moment? first make it more
red, make it bigger, and then you will enjoy it.
you don't know that you are postponing -- and the postponing becomes a habit. when it has
become bigger the same mind will say: still more is possible. and the same mind will go on
postponing until death knocks at your door. then you will be surprised: i have been wasting my
whole life with 'oughts' and the 'is' was there. and the 'is' is beautiful. the 'is' is the only religion
for chuang tzu.
the conflict between 'is' and 'ought' is very foundational. if you can drop your 'ought' you
may not be as respectable as you are right now. because of your 'ought', people respect you. they
say, 'this man is beautiful, he is never angry, he always smiles,' and they don't know that those
smiles are false because a man who can never be angry cannot be truly smiling. this is the
problem -- if he is not authentic in his anger, he cannot be authentic in his smile.
children are authentic; when they are angry they are really angry. you look at them -- their
anger is beautiful. they become just like wild animals, jumping and screaming, their faces
completely red. they are like lions, they would destroy the whole world at that moment. their
anger is true, and whatsoever is true is beautiful.
look at a child when he is angry, just watch him and you will see a beautiful flowering, a
flowering of strength, power, energy -- energy moving. and the next moment the child is happy,
smiling. now the smile is also true, now his smile is also beautiful; whatsoever is natural is
beautiful. your kiss will be just a poison, it will be poisonous. how can you love? how can you
enjoy sheer being? no, you cannot do anything. now you can only follow -- oughts, shoulds, and
should nots.
you are afraid to live, you go on postponing -- somewhere in the future you will live; and
because of this postponing you have created heaven and hell. heaven is your final postponement
of everything that is worth living for.
you say that in heaven there is eternal beauty; the eternal beauty is here and now, not in
heaven. if you smile -- just stand before a mirror and smile -- you will see that behind your smile
there is anger, there is sadness, there is lust; it is not pure. it cannot be, because the very source is
poisoned. nothing is pure -- not only are things in the market adulterated, you are adulterated.
then you cannot smile, and if you cannot smile, how can you kiss? but you say to the child: don't
be angry, suppress your anger. this is not good, you are not supposed to be angry. but who is this
who is supposing these things? is there any possibility to go beyond nature? who are you?
at the most, you can do this one thing -- you can force him.a child is helpless, if you force
him he will have to follow you. he is weak, he depends on you because you can withdraw your
love. he needs your love, he will have to follow you. when he feels angry he will not express it,
now the anger will move into the blood. and because anger is chemical, his whole body will be
poisoned. expressed, it was a beautiful phenomenon; suppressed, it is disease. now, when he
smiles, this smile will carry that anger, the poison; now it is in the blood. and you have
suppressed so much that whenever you want to smile, something withholds you, something is
afraid in any sort of let-go, because a smile is a let-go.
the eternal beauty is here and now, not in heaven. you say that in heaven love is pure and
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eternal -- love can be pure and eternal here and now, there is no need to wait for heaven.
wherever love is, it is eternal and pure, because for love, time does not exist.
eternal does not mean permanent: eternal means non-temporal, eternal means there is no
time. even if a single moment of love is there, it is eternal. in that moment is such depth that in
that moment time ceases, in that moment there is no future, no past, in that moment you are
simply so much that you spread all over existence -- the whole existence belongs to you and the
whole of you belongs to the existence. that moment is eternity unto itself. wherever love is, there
is eternity, and then there is the possibility of prayer. if your smile is false, your kiss will be false,
your love cannot be true; and all your prayers will be just words and nothing else.
how can you find a god, how can you become god like if you are not true? you seek truth
but in your life you are always untrue. how can an untrue person meet the truth? this seems an
almost impossible thing. the truth will knock at your door, you need not go anywhere; just be
true. and when i say just be true, i am saying just be natural.
nature is truth, and there is no other truth than nature. this is the message of chuang tzu, one
of the greatest messages in the world.
now we will try to enter this beautiful story.
chuang txu with his bamboo pole was fishing in the pu river.
can you conceive of buddha fishing in the pu river? can you conceive of mahavir fishing?
impossible. chuang tzu with his bamboo pole was fishing in the pu river. what does this mean? it
means chuang tzu is an ordinary man, he does not claim anything whatsoever, he just enjoys
being ordinary. he does not live by principles, he lives by instinct. he does not superimpose his
ego on his nature, he simply flows with it -- he is just an ordinary man.
this is the meaning of his fishing in the pu river; only an ordinary man can do that.
extraordinary people how can they do it? they have much 'ought' in them: this should be done,
that should not be done. they live by morality, they live by principles. what are you doing? a man
of knowledge, fishing? impossible to conceive you are killing fish!
chuang tzu believes in nature, he says whatsoever is natural is good. he is just an animal
and he will not create any morality just to feel superior. the story says just be ordinary and enjoy
being ordinary, only then can you fall by and by into the natural; otherwise you will become
unnatural. this fishing is just symbolic. whether chuang tzu fished or not is not the point, but he is
that sort of man who can fish, who can sit with his bamboo pole.
that is why you cannot make a statue of chuang tzu, it is difficult. a buddha is perfect, you
can make a statue of him; it is as if he were born just to have statues made of him; you cannot
find a better man, so statue-like. that is why, naturally, millions of statues exist of buddha, more
than of anybody else. he looks perfect, the perfect model for a statue; sitting under the bodhi tree
with closed eyes, not doing anything. he looks the perfect ideal, the perfect 'ought', as man should
be -- absolutely non-violent, absolutely truthful, absolutely meditative. he is just like marble, not
a man at all.
you cannot make a statue of chuang tzu, you will find him in such wrong places. he is just
an ordinary man and this is the beauty of it, this is the whole message of it. just be ordinary, with
a bamboo pole, fishing, and chuang tzu says that this is enlightenment.
i also say to you that buddha may have attained enlightenment -- it may have been easy for
his nature to sit under a tree -- but if you follow buddha you will become just stones, chuang tzu
will be better for you.
just be ordinary. for buddha that may have been ordinariness... to sit. hence he attained. but
as i know you, and the common human man, the common humanity, the vast humanity, chuang
tzu is better. and when i say better, i am not making any comparison, i am simply saying that he is
so ordinary that you can easily be with him without becoming neurotic. if you follow buddha you
may get neurotic. if you follow chuang tzu you will become more and more natural.
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chuang tzu with his bamboo pole was fishing in the pu river. the prince of chu sent two vice
chancellors with a formal document: we hereby appoint you prime minister.
politics is of the ego, it is the ego-trip, the ego-game. but chuang tzu was known far and
wide as a wise man, there was no need to advertise it. when wisdom exists it is such an
illumination that you cannot hide it, even a chuang tzu cannot hide it. you cannot hide ordinary
love. if a young man falls in love, or a young woman falls in love, you can tell just by their very
walk that love has happened. you cannot hide it because every gesture changes, becomes
illuminated; a new quality enters, you cannot hide it.
how can you hide being in love with the whole existence? when prayer exists, how can you
hide it? even a chuang tzu -- who says hide it -- cannot hide it, it is impossible, people will
suspect.
how can you hide light? if your house is lighted, the neighbours will come to know because
the light will show from your windows. no, you cannot hide it, but the effort to hide it is good.
why does chuang tzu say hide it when the inner lamp is burning? he says it just to bring you
from exactly the opposite pole, because you would like to advertise it. there are people whose
light does not yet exist, whose flame is not yet there, whose house is dark, empty, but they would
like to advertise that they have become wise. ego would like to pretend even about wisdom.
hence, chuang tzu says: don't say anything about what you are, who you are; just hide yourself.
those who have eyes, they will seek and follow you themselves; they will come to you. you need
not go and knock at their doors, the very phenomenon will attract them, and seekers will follow
you and seek you, wherever you are. and those who are not seekers, don't bother about them,
because their coming is of no use. they will just be a disturbance, and they will create hindrances
for those who are seeking. hide the fact. but still people will come to know.
the prince must have come to know that chuang tzu had become enlightened.
the prince of chu sent two vice-chancellors with a formal document: we hereby appoint you
prime minister.
in the old days prime ministers were not chosen by the vote of the people, because how can
you choose by the vote of the people? how can people choose their leaders? they would like to,
but they are not capable. democracy is just a dream, it has not happened anywhere, it cannot
happen. and wherever it happens, it creates trouble; the medicine proves more dangerous than the
disease itself.
in the old days a prime minister was not chosen by the people. a prime minister was
appointed by the king, and the king had to seek out a wise man. a brahmin had to be sought,
searched for, because a wise man would not stand in an election, he would not go knocking at
doors to ask for votes -- rather he would hide himself. kings would go and seek, and wherever
there was a wise man he had to be brought to the world so the world could have the benefits. the
prince must have come to know that chung tzu had become enlightened. he sent two messengers
and appointed him as the prime minister. chuang tzu held his bamboo pole. nothing changed. the
vice-chancellor was standing there with a formal document saying: you are appointed prime
minister. it was the greatest post but chuang tzu remained as he was. chuang tzu held his bamboo
pole still watching the pu river. he didn't even look at those vice chancellors. he didn't look at the
document, as if it was not worth it.
still watching pu river, he said: i am told there is a sacred tortoise offered and canonised
three thousand years ago venerated by the prince, wrapped in silk in a precious shrine on an altar
in the temple.
that turtle is still there; the turtle is covered with gold and precious stones. in the forbidden
city of peking, the imperial city, which is not open for everybody, it is still there. now it is almost
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six thousand years old -- a dead turtle, covered with gold and very precious stones, enshrined,
worshipped by the prince himself.
asked chuang tzu: what do you think? is it better to give up one's life and leave a sacred
shell as an object of cult in a cloud of incense for three thousand years, or better to live as plain
turtle dragging its tail in the mud?
chuang tzu asked: what is better -- just to be a plain turtle and live, or to be dead, covered
with gold, and be worshipped? this is the problem with everybody, before everbody, and these are
the two alternatives. people can worship you but they cannot worship you if you are alive,
because life is amoral -- it is neither moral nor immoral. life does not know any morality, it is
amoral; life knows no oughts, it simply lives from the unconscious. if you are simply alive it is
very difficult for anybody to worship you. if you simply live plainly, enjoying, you cannot expect
incense to be burnt around you, and a temple to arise, and a cult, and a sect, and people to
worship you for thousands of years. no!
they worship a jesus not because he was enlightened, they worship a jesus because he was
crucified. just think about the story of jesus: if the crucifixion had never happened there would
have been no christianity. it is not because of jesus that there is christianity, it is because of the
cross; that is why the cross has become the symbol of a christian.
why the cross? the human mind, the neurotic mind, worships death not life: the more dead
you are, the more you can be worshipped. if you are alive then you are not worth worshipping
because you are not sacrificing anything! sacrifice can be worshipped because sacrifice means
sacrificing life, a gradual crucifixion. if others crucify you, people will worship you and if you
crucify yourself, people will worship you more. people worship death; jesus is worshipped
because he was crucified.
if you just drop that part of the story, then who is jesus? then it will be difficult for you to
even remember because jesus was a vagabond just like chuang tzu. the only difference in the
story is that chuang tzu was never crucified and jesus was crucified -- otherwise he is the same
man. you could have found him on the riverbank with a bamboo pole, fishing -- he was very
friendly with fishermen. he must have fished around the sea of galilee, fishermen were his
followers. you would have been able to find him staying with a prostitute because the prostitute
loved him, worshipped him, and he knew no distinctions. he moved with gamblers, drunkards,
people rejected by the society -- and that was his crime! he was crucified because this was his
crime: he was moving with ordinary people living an ordinary life. that cannot be tolerated by the
respectable world, that cannot be tolerated. this man who moves with prostitutes, gamblers,
drunkards, who is found in wrong company, this man says that he is the son of god! this is
heresy!
this man is claiming too much, he has to be punished, because if such things are left
unpunished then the whole morality will be destroyed; and this man lives against all rules, he has
no rules except life. jesus and chuang tzu are similar, just one thing differs: jesus was crucified.
jews are very much rule-oriented, they live by rules, they are confucians, and it is difficult for
them to concede that somebody who lives without rules can be good jews are very moralistic and
their conception of god is very revengeful. the jewish god is very revengeful, he will throw you in
fire if you don't obey him. obedience seems to be the greatest rule. and this jesus, the son of a
carpenter, an ordinary man, is moving with suspicious people and claiming that he is a prophet,
the prophet for whom the whole jewish world has been waiting. no, he has to be punished.
china was more tolerant. chuang tzu was not punished because china had no conception of a
ferocious god; in fact there was no conception of god. confucius never believed in god, he
believed in rules; and he was the basis for china. but he said that rules are human, there is no
divineness about them and they are arbitrary, relative, you can change them. one has to follow
them but there is nothing divine about them, no absoluteness about them. that is why lao tzu and
chuang tzu could live without being crucified.
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but one thing you have to remember. if chuang tzu had also been crucified, there would
have been a great following. there is none. chuang tzu has no followers, he cannot have, because
people worship death. and he refused to be a turtle, canonised, because the condition is: be dead!
don't do this, don't to that; just go on cutting and sacrificing yourself; just sit, not even breathing
is allowed. then people will worship you, then you will have become a dead turtle.
asked chuang tzu: what do you think? is it better to give up one's life and leave a sacred
shell as an object of cult in a cloud of incense for three thousand years, or better to live as a plain
turtle dragging its tail in the mud?
'for the turtle,' said the vice chancellor, 'better to live and drag its tail in the mud.'
of course, it is logical for the turtle: better to live and drag its tail in the mud! chuang tzu
said: go home, leave me here to drag my tail in the mud! let me be just a plain turtle. please, don't
you try to canonise me, because i know your condition -- first i have to die and leave a shell, a
dead shell, then you can canonise me, then you can make a cult of me, then you can have a
temple around me, and incense, and clouds of incense, and then you can worship me for three
thousand years. but what will i gain out of it? i am the turtle, what will i gain out of it? what does
a turtle know about gold and precious stones? they are human foolishnesses, a turtle never
believes in them. the turtle believes in the mud, the turtle drags its tail in the mud and enjys it.
the symbol is very meaningful because mud for us is something dirty. but mud is nature;
dirty or not dirty -- those are your interpretations. mud is nature, and a turtle dragging its tail in
the mud and playing the game for the time it lasts, enjoying the mud, is a good symbol. this is
how a natural man should be: not condemning the mud, not saying this body is nothing, dirt unto
dirt, dust unto dust, this body will fall back into the mud, this is just mud.
... dragging his tail in the mud. nature is muddy, it is there. you are made of it and you will
dissolve into it. but if you want to be worshipped for thousands of years then there is no problem.
if you want a cult around you, if you want to become a deity, placed in a temple shrine,
enshrined, canonised, then it is okay, but then you have to give your life. is it worth it? is it worth
it to give your life and gain respect? is it worth it to lose a single moment of life and gain the
respect of the whole world? not even then is it worth it, no. if the whole world worships you, that
too is not enough to lose a single moment of being alive. only life is precious, there are no
precious stones, only life is gold, there is no other gold, only life is the temple, there is no other
temple. only life is the incense, the fragrance, there is no other fragrance. this is what chuang tzu
says: let me be alive. you may condemn me, because i am just a turtle dragging his tail in the
mud, but for the turtle this is the best. even you agree with me, so go home. i am not coming to
the palace, i am not going to become a prime minister, that is not for me, because you will kill
me.
there are many ways to crucify a man, crucifixion is only one. you can also put him on the
throne, then too he is crucified, and in a subtler way; very non violently you kill him. whenever
you start respecting a person you have started killing him, because now he has to pay; he has to
look at you -- what to do, what not to do.
i once stayed in a home with a jain family. they had never met me but they had read my
books and through books they had much respect for me. then they invited me to stay with them as
i was in their town, a very rich family. so i stayed.
at evening time, a few people had come to see me, and jains take their food before sunset,
they are very traditional. the woman came and she said: it is getting dark, you must finish with
these people, otherwise you will be late for your food. i said: i can take my food a little later,
there is no hurry. but these people have come from very far, from a far-off village, and they are
really seekers, so i must tell them something; before they go i must give them something. she
wouldn't believe me and by the time those people left it was already late, the sun had set, it was
dark. so again the woman came and said: now you cannot eat, or are you ready to eat even at
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night? so i said: for me there is no difference, because hunger knows no day, no night. i am
hungry and i will eat.
as if her whole image of me was shattered, she said: we thought that you were an
enlightened man but now you have shattered the whole image. how can an enlightened man eat at
night?
it is impossible for a jain to conceive, because they live by rules and they go on living by
dead rules. if you want their respect you have to follow their rules. if you follow their rules, you
are imprisoned. so i said: it is better not to be enlightened, because i would not like to go to sleep
hungry, that is too much. i can leave enlightenment.
and that day i told them this story: let me drag my tail in the mud, it is not worth it.
somebody thinks that i am enlightened and just to keep his image, am i to kill myself?
but this is how things go.
never ask for respect, because respect is asked for by the ego. never seek respect from
others because that is a subtle bondage and you will soon be imprisoned and enclosed in it. just
live plainly, just live as you feel, natural, and don't bother about anybody else. nobody else is
responsible for your life except you. be responsible only to yourself and nobody else, then it will
be difficult for you to create a cult around yourself. but if people come, they will be the right
seekers. if you seek respect, wrong people will come around you; if you don't seek their respect,
if you don't bother about them, if you simply follow your natural course, then only the right
seekers will come and they will not be an imprisonment to you. and only those people who are
not an imprisonment to you can be helped, otherwise followers lead their leaders; disciples
impose rules on their masters. what nonsense? they both remain in darkness.
remember one basic thing always: there cannot be anything more than nature, nature is the
whole. so you have to find a way to fall back from the cultured pattern of your life into the
natural flow.
you are as frozen as you are cultured. how to melt again and become a river? it is arduous,
because frozen ice is worshipped and the ego will say: what are you doing? now nobody will
respect you, now you will not be a respectable person! what are you doing? the ego will say: just
follow the rules, what is the harm? there is so much investment in the rules. if you follow
ordinary rules, everybody will worship you. but what is gained by worship? it is not a substitute
for life. what is gained by respect? it is not a substitute for existence.
be existential, let things happen.
if somebody respects you, even then it is for him to decide, it should not be your concern. if
it is your concern then you will get neurotic, that is how everybody has gone neurotic. and there
are so many people around and they are all expecting you to do this and to do that. so many
people, so many expectations, and you are trying to satisfy all of them? you cannot satisfy all of
them. the whole effort will end in your own deep dissatisfaction, and nobody else will be
satisfied. you cannot satisfy anybody, the only satisfaction that is possible is your own. and if you
are satisfied then a few will be satisfied with you, but that is not your concern.
you are not here to fulfill anybody else's expectations, their rules, their maps. you are here
to fulfill your own being. that is the whole of religion, the all of religion; you are here to fulfill
your own being! that is your destiny, don't waver from it, nothing is worth it.
but there are many allurements an around and they seem so innocent, the allurements seem
very innocent. they are not so innocent, they are very cunning. somebody says: what is wrong if
you don't eat at night? people will give you their respect. eating or not eating is not the point. if
you don't feel like eating, it is good, don't eat. people say that if you get up early in the morning at
five o'clock, then hindus will respect you. nothing is wrong with getting up then; if you feel good,
get up, but don't think of the hindus. if you get up because of them then you are missing yourself
and by and by you will get more and more entangled. because there are some people who will be
unhappy the whole day if they get up at brahmmuhart, at five o'clock.
there is a particular time which has to be passed in sleep, two hours every night. now
scientists have discovered that out of twenty-four hours there are two hours every day when the
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temperature of the body falls; those two hours are the deepest for sleeping. if you miss them, then
for the whole day you will feel that something is missing. if you can sleep during those two hours
then there is no need to sleep for five or seven hours, they will be enough. but those two hours are
different for everybody and rules are not different for everybody -- this is the problem. if
somebody has those two hours when his temperature drops between three and five, then at five he
can get up absolutely fresh -- that is his brahmmuhurt. but somebody else who really falls asleep
at five, whose temperature falls between five and seven, if this man follows hindus, his whole life
will be lost.
you have to seek your own, and it differs from individual to individual; everything differs
from individual to individual. there is no rule that you have to fix and fit into, you have to find
your own rules.
just try to understand -- whatsoever gives you happiness and blessings and peace and
silence, seek in that way, more will be coming soon. and that is the criterion: if you are happy, i
say you are a religious man although you may not be going to the temple. if you are unhappy and
you go continuously to the temple, i don't call you a religious man. if you are happy, blissful, if
your whole being exudes ecstasy and peace, at homeness in existence, you are a religious man --
whether you believe in god or not. those are just words, don't bother about them.
find your peace, find your mud where you can drag your tail and be alive; that is your
temple. nobody else's temple will suit you -- cannot suit you, because every temple was made by
somebody for somebody.
buddha lived in his own way, then a temple was born, then thousands followed and they
started living like buddha; they missed their goal. buddha never followed anybody, his way was
his own, he was happy -- then it is okay. but you will be unhappy following him.
don't follow anybody, otherwise you will be unhappy. and you are unhappy enough because
you have been following your father and mother, teachers, religion. you have been following so
many, and all those voices are different, contradictory, inconsistent. you are being pulled in all
directions; how can you be together? you are a disintegrated phenomenon, a crowd, one part
going to the east, another part going to the west; the lower body has gone to the south, the upper
body has gone to the himalayas, north. you are a disintegrated phenomenon, not together.
be together! and i tell you, if you remain together, if you don't listen to anybody, if you only
listen to your own voice, even if you have to err sometimes, even if you go wrong sometimes --
don't bother. you will go wrong, because you have become accustomed to following others so
much that you have lost your inner voice. you don't know what the inner voice is. many voices
are there and they are all from others. sometimes the mother speaks -- do this! sometimes the
father speaks -- don't do this! sometimes somebody else, a buddha, a jesus, a christ, a chuang
tzu... drop all those voices. listen!
meditation is a deep listening, listening to the inner voice. as you become silent, voices
cease. chuang tzu goes to his home, buddha goes to his home, jesus is no longer there, your father
and your mother are really gone; everybody goes, only you are left, alone in your emptiness. then
your nature asserts itself -- and that is a flowering. as a seed breaks and comes out, sprouting, so
your inner voice comes out, sprouting. and then follow it: wherever it leads, follow it. don't listen
to anybody; that is your way to god. and all that a master can do is to bring you to your inner
voice. the master should not become the substitute, otherwise you will become even more
crowded than you were before.
don't make me your voice, i am not your enemy. don't listen to me! only this much is
enough: that you go deep within yourself and listen to your own voice. if i can help you towards
that, then i am a master to you, otherwise i am an enemy. and once you have started listening to
your own voice i am not needed, you can discard me. listen... just as there is a third eye, there is a
third ear, it is not talked about in the scriptures. there is a third ear, and as the third eye will give
you glimpses of your being so the third ear gives you glimpses of your inner voice. when these
two outer ears stop functioning -- when you are not listening to anybody, you have become
completely deaf, no voice penetrates and you have thrown all the voices from the inside outside,
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when you have thrown all the rubbish out, you are just empty, settling within -- you will feel the
voice. it is always there. every child is born with it, every tree is born with it, every bird lives
with it -- even a turtle is born with it. and you cannot confuse a turtle, you cannot convince him
by saying: come and be dead and we will enshrine you. the turtle will also say: go home, leave
me here to drag my tail in the mud. once you can feel your voice then no rules are needed, you
have become a rule unto yourself.
and the more clear the voice, the more your steps fall in the right direction. it becomes a
progressively stronger and stronger force, every step leads nearer to your destiny and you feel
more at ease. you will feel a deep contentment that nothing is wrong and you can bless and you
can be blessed by all.
religion is rebellion, rebellion against the others, rebellion against the well-wishers,
rebellion against the do-gooders. it is the greatest rebellion because you are alone, nobody else is
there and you have to travel the path alone. it is the rebellion of the individual against the crowd.
the crowd is very, very powerful. it can crush you, it has already crushed you. you are crippled
and crushed, you are almost dead. to leave you alive is dangerous for the crowd because then you
will follow your own path, and the crowd has its own path -- it wants you to follow it. the crowd
wants you to become a clerk in a post office, a teacher in a primary school, a nurse in a hospital,
and your inner voice may not be ready for it. your inner voice may be moving you to become a
buddha or a chuang tzu, but the society does not need a buddha -- it needs a perfect executive.
what is a buddha needed for? he is useless economically, a burden.
once it happened that mulla nasrudin went to a psychiatrist wearing a beret, a smock, a
flowing beard. the psychiatrist asked: are you an artist? nasrudin said: no, not at all! the
psychiatrist said: then why this beret, smock and beard? nasrudin said: that's what i am here to
enquire, why? i never wanted it; this is my father, he wanted me to be a painter, a great artist. that
is why i am here to enquire.
you are in such bad shape because so many people have wanted so many things out of you.
if you fulfill them you will remain unfulfilled, because nobody can expect the thing that you are
here for -- for that you have to search, it is an inner enquiry. that is the soul! you may call it god,
you may call it truth, names differ, but the real thing is to find the authentic destiny that you are
here for; otherwise one day or other you will have to go to the psychiatrist and ask. and
everybody is getting nearer the door of the psychiatrist! even the psychiatrist himself is in bad
shape; because he goes to some other psychiatrist for his own analysis -- they do each other's
psychoanalysis too. and this is really something: more psychiatrists commit suicide than anybody
else, twice as many as any other profession. twice as many as in any other profession go mad, and
they are here meaning to help others!
everybody is in bad shape because nobody has listened to his authentic being. listen to it!
and don't listen to anybody else.
it is going to be arduous, you will have to lose much, many investments will be lost. this is
what i mean by sannyas: it is renunciation of false investments, it is a renunciation of others and
their wishes and their expectations, and it is a decision to be authentically oneself.
***** chapter 9 : duke hwan and the wheelright *****
19 october 1974 am in buddha hall
duke hwan of khi, first in his dynasty, sat under his canopy reading his philosophy. and
phien the wheelwright was out in the yard making a wheel.
phien laid aside hammer and chisel, climbed the steps, and said to duke hwan: 'may i ask
you, lord, what is this you are reading?' the duke said: 'the experts, the authorities.' and phien
asked: 'alive or dead?' the duke said: 'dead a long time.' 'then,' said the wheelwright, 'you are
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reading only the dirt they left behind.' the duke replied: 'what do you know about it? you are only
a wheelwright. you had better give me a good explanation or else you must die.' the wheelwright
said: 'let us look at the affair from my point of view. when i make wheels, if i go easy they fall
apart, and if i am too rough they do not fit. but if i am neither too easy nor too violent they come
out right. the work is what i want it to be.
you cannot put this into words, you just have to know how it is. i cannot even tell my own
son exactly how it is done, and my own son cannot learn it from me. so here l am, seventy years
old, still making wheels!
the men of old took all they really knew with them to the grave. and so, lord, what you are
reading there is only the dirt they left behind them.'
it happened that on a back country road a motorist found that something was wrong with
his engine he stopped the car, opened the hood and looked inside. suddenly he heard a voice: if
you ask me i can tell you what the trouble is. surprised, he looked around because he thought that
there was nobody else there. no, there was nobody but a horse, standing in a farm just nearby. the
man got afraid and scared; down the road he sped! after twenty minutes, he reached a filling
station. when he caught his breath, he told the man, the owner, what had happened: there was
nobody else but a horse, and i heard a human voice say that if i ask him, he could tell me what the
trouble was. the owner said: by any chance was the horse black, sway backed, bow legged? the
man said: yes, that is right. said the owner: don't mind him, he is just an old philosopher, dead
long ago, still haunting the place. just because of his old habit he goes on seeking people to ask
him questions. he does not know a thing about engine trouble. and he is not a horse, he is just
using that poor old horse as a medium. so don't mind him.
but this is how it happens on all the roads of life. the old ghosts go on haunting, and they
know all the answers. you have only to ask -- just for the asking they are ready to give you all the
answers. yet life goes on changing and they don't know a thing about engine trouble. life goes on
changing moment to moment. you cannot find the answer in the past because nothing is the same
today. you cannot find the answer in the past because the answer is not the thing, it always dies
with the man who has discovered it. but ghosts go on haunting. your vedas, korans, bibles, gitas,
they are ghosts. they are not realities now, they are long dead, but they have an appeal.
so first try to understand why the dead have so much appeal, why the dead past has so much
appeal over the living, why the dead go on pulling your legs. why do you carry them? why do
you listen to them? you are living, you are fresh. why do you look to the past, to the authorities
and to the experts?
the first thing -- the longer a person has been dead, the greater is the tradition. time. time
hallows everything. if buddha is alive you can barely tolerate him. at the most, if you are very
kind to him, you may go and listen. but you cannot believe that he is a bhagwan. you cannot
believe that this man has known the ultimate because he will look just like you: a man of blood
and bones, young or old, ill or healthy, as prone as you are to death -- just like you. hungry, he
needs food, sleepy;he wants a bed, ill, he has to rest -- just like you. how can you believe that he
had known the ultimate, the deathless? difficult, almost impossible.
even if you try, it never happens; even if you force yourself, deep down the doubt remains.
but now, twenty-five centuries later, buddha is no longer a man of bones and blood. he never falls
ill, he is never hungry, never needs food, never needs any medicine. he will never die now, he is
immortal. time hallows everything and by and by you forget that he belonged to you. by and by
the dead image becomes golden. it reaches higher and higher, it is completely lost somewhere in
paradise, you can have only a glimpse. then you can believe.
hence the past goes on haunting you. if buddha comes again, you will reject him. that is
why jesus is worshipped now and yet he was crucified when he was alive. alive, you crucify him;
dead, you worship him. why does death make him so meaningful, so significant? death destroys
the body, and then the link with you is broken. then you have a spiritual image: bloodless,
boneless, super-physical. now you can imagine, and it is up to you to give all the qualities to him
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-- you project.
it is difficult to project onto a living man because the reality is there, and he will destroy all
your projections. he will not be ready to become a prisoner of your projections. but dead, what
can he do? what can jesus do? what can buddha do? helpless whatsoever you do, they have to
suffer.
that is why more imagination is possible with a dead master -- now you can give the
significance, the superiority, the other-worldliness.
but with a living person it is impossible unless you have a heart of faith, total faith; and for
those who have a heart of total faith buddha is never the body, alive or dead. he is never the body.
because they penetrate deeply, buddha is transparent. he may be in the body but he is not the
body; he may be living amongst you but he does not belong to you -- he is somewhere from the
high. that is the meaning of a christ, the son of god. that is the meaning of an avatar, a
descendance of the divine. that is the meaning of a teerthankara -- a buddha. he comes from the
invisible, but it can be seen only through the eye of faith. the mind cannot look at it. but when he
is dead the mind can project.
so the first thing is that the longer the period, the gap, the more the time between you and
buddha, jesus, mahavir, the more your imagination has freedom. you can project, you can create a
dream around them. then they become more a myth and less a reality, then a whole myth is
created around them. then you can worship, then you can listen to them.
but the trouble is that when a buddha is alive he can help you. when a buddha is alive you
can imbibe his spirit. when a buddha is alive it is possible for something to be communicated,
transferred. but when he is dead, it becomes more and more impossible. why? because that which
is to be given cannot be given through language. if it can be given through language, then there
are scriptures, then there is the word of the buddha. but it cannot be given through the word. the
word is just an excuse. buddha speaks to you' it is just an excuse to create a contact on the plane
of the mind. and if you are receptive, something is constantly happening on the side; just between
the words, or between the lines, buddha is reaching to you -- that is a living experience.
he has to transfer not a theory, but himself. he has not to communicate a hypothesis, a
philosophy, but a living experience, and that is more like a skill and less like a philosophy. even if
you know how to swim you cannot teach somebody just through words. what will you say?
whatsoever you say, you will feel it is not adequate. the only way is to take the disciple with you
to the river. first show him how you swim -- give him confidence, give him courage -- then tell
him, come. and if he trusts you, he will come with you. then by and by let him pass through the
experience.
only experience can teach. and spirituality is just like swimming, you cannot say anything
about it. you can describe it, but the description is dead. it is an alive experience. something
happens when somebody is there who knows the skill. he cannot tell it to you, but you can learn.
and this is the mystery: he cannot teach it to you, but you can learn if you are receptive.
so remember, more depends on the disciple and his receptivity, and less on the master. he is
there, he is present. now you have to be receptive and imbibe; you have to be receptive and allow;
you have to be receptive and let him penetrate into you. if you are afraid, the whole being shrinks,
you are closed. when you are closed the master can go on knocking at your door but there will be
no response. the more he knocks the more you will shrink, and become scared. so he will not
even knock because that too is aggression. he will simply wait at the door. whenever you are
ready and open, he can give it to you, he can deliver it instantly. but the disciple has to be ready.
this possibility is there only with a living master. with a dead master, you cannot learn
anything.
the word is with you, the bible is with you, you can become a great scholar, a philosopher,
you can think and spin many theories around it, you can create a theology of your own -- but
jesus will not be there. you have to live with jesus, his presence is the most significant thing.
the second thing to be remembered is that mind always likes theories, words, philosophies.
it can tackle them, it is a game the mind likes very much, because nothing is lost. on the contrary,
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mind is more strengthened through them. the more you know, the more information you gather,
the more your mind feels 'i am somebody'.
with a living master the problem is this: you have to surrender, your ego has to be
dissolved. it is really a death experience to live with a master, you have to die. and unless you die
nothing is going to happen. only through your death will rebirth happen. when you are no longer
there, suddenly the divine is. so a living master is a death experience for the mind -- a rebirth of
the soul, but a death of the ego. with dead masters you are not scared. the mind can go on playing
the game with the experts and the authorities, and the interpretation depends on you. in any
theory the meaning is not there in it; you have to put the meaning in, it is a game. you think you
are reading the gita, the word of krishna. you are wrong. the word is there, but who will give the
meaning? you will give the meaning.
so every scripture is nothing but a mirror: you will see your own face in it. you can read
anything that you like, but because the mind is very cunning, it will simply not listen to anything
that goes against it. it can interpret in its own ways and krishna is not there to say: no, this is not
my meaning.
it happened that when sigmund freud was alive but very old, just in his last year of life, he
gathered all his disciples to him -- and he had a big following all over the world. he had created a
very significant school of psychoanalysis, and he was revered.
twenty of his closest disciples were taking lunch with him. they started discussing what
freud meant about something and they completely forgot that freud was there. they became much
absorbed in the discussion, contradicting each other, arguing with each other. one theory -- twenty
interpretations. and the master was alive, he was sitting there, but they had forgotten him
completely! then he hammered on the table and said: one thing please! i am still alive, you can
ask me what i mean. listening to you, i have become aware of what you are going to do when i
am dead. i am alive, yet nobody asks me what my meaning is. and you have twenty meanings
already! when i am dead, you will have two hundred, two thousand, two million meanings, and
then there will be no possibility to ask me what i mean.
that is how sects and creeds are born.
jesus was a simple man, but look at the catholics, the protestants, the hundreds of sects of
christianity and their interpretations. jesus was a simple man, the son of a carpenter, he never
used the jargon of theology. he was not a man of words, he was a man of experience. he talked
simply in small stories, anecdotes, and parables. and he was talking to illiterate people, his
meaning was simple. but look... the protestants, the catholics, their theologians, they have made
so much out of him -- a mountain! on simple matters they go on discussing and arguing and they
get so lost in it that jesus is completely forgotten.
when a living freud is forgotten how can you remember a dead jesus? ask hindus, they have
one thousand interpretations of the gita already. and every year interpretations go on being added,
new interpretations, and nobody agrees with anybody else. shankara says that the message is of
renunciation, that the gita's message is of renunciation, inaction. lokmanya tilak says that the
message is of action -- just the opposite. and ramanuja says that the message is of devotion, not
action, not renunciation. and so you go on: one thousand interpretations, nobody agreeing with
anybody else. and when you read the gita that will be one thousand and one interpretations,
because that will be yours. you will bring your mind into it and mind feels strengthened by
knowledge, information.
mind is never in any danger except in the presence of a living master. then it is just on the
verge of death. you escape krishnas, and you carry gitas in your head. you escape jesus and you
always keep the bible in your pocket. the bible can be kept in your pocket, not jesus. the bible
will belong to you, but with jesus you will have to belong to jesus. that is the difference: you can
own a bible, you cannot own jesus. you will have to be owned by him.
and thirdly, science can be written. there is no problem. because it is not a skill, it is
theorising, it is theoria. it can be written, it is description, it is not a mystery. the whole basis of
science is to de-mystify everything. it has principles, laws, they can be written; and if you
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decipher the law, everything is known.
religion is not like science, it is more like art -- it is symbolic. the first thing is that it is not
realistic, it is symbolic.
once it happened that a friend came to see picasso. the friend was in the military, in the
army. he looked into picasso's studio, and he said: what nonsense! everything is unreal, not even a
single painting represents reality.
you cannot find anything like,picasso's painting in reality. it is not there. it is only picasso's
feeling of the reality.
science tries to discover the objective, art goes on trying to find the subjective in the
objective. you look at a flower; if you ask a scientist about it he will talk of the chemical
compounds of the flower. of course they are there, but they are not the flower, because they don't
carry the beauty, they don't carry the meaning. for the beauty you have to ask the artist but then
he will not talk about chemical compounds, or anything else. he will give you a poem, and it will
be nearer the truth than anything a scientist can give, but it will not be objective.
picasso listened quietly, because he was a soldier, this friend, and you cannot expect a
soldier to understand too much subjectivity -- he lives in the world of objects. later on they talked
of other things, and then the soldier showed a picture of his girl friend to picasso, a small picture.
picasso started laughing and he said: is that girl so small? it would be very difficult to make love
to such a small girl. the soldier said: what are you saying? this is just a picture. so picasso said: a
picture is not objective, it is symbolic, it simply represents, indicates, shows. it is not a
description, it is not exact in proportion; it is just an indication, a hint.
remember, religion is more like art than like science. and it is even more subtle than art
because art represents the objective and religion represents the subjective. art has symbols to
show the objective world. the artist paints a picture of a rose, but the rose is there. van gogh's rose
or picasso's rose may not be exactly as it is in the garden, but still it is a rose. you can find some
similarity, you can find something which corresponds.
but when a buddha talks about nirvana, it is not in the outside world, you don't have
anything to correspond to it. when jesus talks about the kingdom of god, it is not there in the
objective world. art represents the objective: the symbol is difficult, but you can still find
something corresponding to it in the world. religion symbolises the subjective, you cannot find
anything like it in the world. unless you go within yourself you will not be able to find the
meaning, the significance. then you will carry the word, and the word is not the reality. then you
may repeat the word 'god' and you don't know anything about god. it is more like an art, and even
more like a craft.
what is a buddha doing? he is a craftsman, he makes gods out of you. just like a sculptor he
goes on hammering on the stone, cutting this and that piece, throwing away all that is inessential
-- then by and by an image is discovered. it was there. before the artist started with his chisel and
hammer it was there, but the inessential was there also. the inessential has to be broken and
thrown away so that the essential comes up and is discovered. so what is a buddha doing? you are
like a stone; he will go on working with his chisel and hammer, he will cut away the inessential,
and then the essential comes in its total glory. then the magnificent is born, then the other world
penetrates into this world. he is not bringing anything new into the world, he is simply changing
you, transforming you.
you are already carrying the other world within you but it is mixed too much with this
world. a separation is needed: a separation of that which is essential from that which is non-
essential; a separation of that which is you from that which you possess; a separation of the
possessor from the possession; of the spirit from the body; of the centre from the circumference.
it is like a skill. no painter can tell you how to paint, you have to live with the master. if you go to
picasso and say, 'how do you paint? tell me something, give me some guidelines' he cannot give
you any guidelines because he himself is not aware. it is such a tremendous phenomenon, it is so
unconscious, that when picasso is painting he is not aware of any rules, regulations, any laws, any
guidelines. he becomes his painting, he is no longer there, he is completely absorbed in it. you
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have to be with him. when he moves into his painting, and when the painter is lost, and only the
painting remains, when the painting is no longer a conscious effort, when the unconscious takes
over, you have to see the phenomenon to feel it, what it is. then those are not the hands of
picasso, then the unconscious tao, nature, has taken over. picasso's hands are instrumental, they
work as vehicles, some other energy is there. watch picasso painting -- he is no longer a man. he
is not at all a part of you; he has become a creator, he is not a creature. that is why when the
painting is born it brings something of the other world.
but this is nothing. when a buddha speaks he is not the speaker. when a buddha moves he is
not the walker. when a buddha puts his hand on your head he is not the hand. tao -- you may call
it god, whatsoever name you choose -- has taken over. now the hand is not of buddha, it is
instrumental. god is touching you through him and buddha is not there at all, not standing
between you and god. but this has to be experienced. it is impossible to learn anything from a
dead buddha. and if you cannot learn from a living one, how can you expect to learn from a dead
one?
it is a skill, the greatest skill, and it is so delicate and subtle that nothing can be done
consciously, you have simply to be near and imbibe. this word has to be remembered -- imbibe. a
buddha has to be imbibed, eaten. he becomes your blood and bone, he flows within you. his
presence has to be absorbed and you have to carry it within you.
this is the greatest skill in the world -- to make a god out of a man -- a man who is always
prone to become an animal -- to make a god out of him, to change the mind, to drop the ego, to
allow the ultimate to happen in him. it is bringing the ocean to the drop, it is dropping the ocean
into the drop. it is the highest, supreme-most skill. no scriptures can carry it, they can only
indicate. you have to be near a living buddha to know what it means. and it happens only once in
a thousand years, in two thousand years, that a person like buddha is there. and then dead cults
are born, and people go on worshipping without knowing what they are doing.
now try to understand these words of chuang tzu. it is a beautiful parable.
duke hwan and the wheelwright.
duke hwan of khi, first in his dynasty, sat under his canopy reading his philosophy. and
phien the wheelwright was out in the yard making a wheel.
he is a craftsman.
phien laid aside his hammer and chisel, climbed the steps and said to duke hwan: 'may i ask
you, lord, what is this you are reading?' the duke said: the experts, the authorities.'
remember well that all your experts and authorities are always dead, because by the time
the news reaches you, the person has disappeared. by the time you come to know that there is a
buddha, the buddha is dead. your consciousness is such a lazy and lousy affair, you are so
unaware of what is happening that by the time you come to know that the flower has flowered,
and you rush to the garden, the flower has disappeared.
it takes time for you to realise somebody is there -- and it takes so much time! sometimes
centuries afterwards you come to feel that buddha was there, but then nothing can be done. be
more alert, be more conscious, so that you catch the train in time. you have always been missing
the train. you are not here for the first time, you were there when gautama became buddha.
somewhere on this earth you were there; it cannot be otherwise, because nothing dies. you missed
him. somebody must have told you, you must have argued. you must have said: we have heard
many stories, these are just stories. you must have thought: how can somebody else become
enlightened when i have not become enlightened? how can somebody else be superior to me? and
faith? you must have said: i am a rational man and i cannot believe so easily. there is doubt and
first i have to satisfy my doubt....
it takes time, sometimes centuries, and even then the doubt is not satisfied. remember, one
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has to take the jump, even with the doubt. if you wait to let the doubt subside first, then the time
will never come for you to take the jump because doubt is a self creating process. one doubt
creates another; another doubt creates another. and the same happens with faith -- one faith
creates another, another faith... then a chain is created. when you start there is always a wavering.
nobody can start with a total heart because then there would be no need. one has to start with
doubt, but don't pay much attention to the doubt, pay much attention to trust. then the energy
moves to trust, and the trust becomes a chain. by and by, the energy from doubt is absorbed by
the energy in trust.
remember, one has to sow the seeds. if you wait, and say: when doubt is no more then i will
sow the seeds of trust, then you will never sow the seeds.
.... you must have heard, somebody might have told you that this gautama had become
enlightened. you must have laughed, you must have said: nobody becomes enlightened, these are
just stories that people go on creating. and i know this gautama, i even know his father. i know his
family and i cannot believe because i am a sceptic, i am a rational man. without reasoning i
cannot move a single step.
not only with buddha -- you were there when jesus was there, you were there when chuang
tzu was there. you have always been here, but you have missed many times. why? the reason is
always the same -- you cannot trust. you go on finding arguments against taking the jump; and
there are infinite possibilities to go on finding arguments again and again and again. because once
you feed doubt it becomes a cancerous growth -- then it perpetuates itself, there is no need to help
it. it is a cancerous growth, it goes on and on, and it grows. the same thing happens with trust.
so remember that it is not a question of 'when there is no doubt then i will trust.' it is
impossible, that time will never come. you have to trust while doubt is there. and look at the
beauty of it, if you can trust while doubt is there -- and this is how human mind is, frail, weak,
divided, you have to trust while doubt is there if you can trust while doubt is there, it means that
you pay more attention to trust and less attention to doubt; you are indifferent to doubt, your
whole attention is toward trust. then a day comes when the doubt has disappeared, because if you
don't give attention you don't give food -- attention is food. if you don't give attention the doubt
cannot persist in its chain. but you always find reasons. the ego always says: don't surrender, don't
let go. what are you doing? you will be lost. and you never think that you are already lost. where
are you?
you must have met a person who is known as an auto-nut. there are persons who simply
enjoy driving, they are auto-nuts. they will go from bombay to delhi, non stop, and the first thing
they will say on reaching delhi is: we made it in twenty four hours. this is an auto nut.
once it happened that an auto-nut was driving me somewhere. he was going fast, at a mad
speed along the highway. and we were supposed to reach a village by the afternoon. but we had
not reached it and it was already evening. so i looked at the map and told him that it seemed that
he had taken a wrong route. he said: don't bother about the map, it does not matter. we are
enjoying the ride. and on he sped, without even stopping to look at the map.
there are people who simply go on moving fast, thinking that just by moving fast, they will
reach somewhere.
it is not movement that leads you somewhere, it is direction. it is not just by running that
you will reach your destiny; you may be running in a circle. where have you reached? what have
you got to lose? nothing whatsoever. then why are you afraid? afraid to lose nothing?
people come to me and they say it is difficult to surrender. i always look at them and simply
cannot understand what they are talking about, because they have nothing to surrender, nothing to
lose, nothing to renounce. if you have attained something then renunciation means something.
you have not attained anything you have gathered worthless rubbish. and you think this is
something? but you don't want to look at it because if you look, you become afraid, then the
ground underneath becomes shaky. you don't look at it, you simply go on believing that you have
much and i have nothing. because with the exception of enlightenment there is nothing that i have
got that is worth mentioning. except a fully aware consciousness, a flame within of the deathless,
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there are no other riches. there cannot be.
phien laid aside his hammer and chisel, climbed the steps, and said to duke hwan: 'may i
ask you, lord, what is this you are reading?' the duke said: 'the experts, the authorities.'
a person becomes an expert only when he has a long tradition. he becomes an authority
only when much time has passed and many people have worshipped him. if nobody worshipped
jesus, would he be an expert or an authority? you count the followers: the more the followers, the
greater the expert and the authority.
in new delhi on a confectioner's shop there is a sign. if you go, you must visit this shop. on
the sign it is written: eat here, a million flies cannot be wrong!
this is how you feel: if a million people follow, a million people cannot be wrong. when ten
million people follow, then you feel that this is the authority. but these are flies!
how many people are following buddha? how many are following jesus? you count the
followers as if the master depends on the quantity of the followers. religion is not politics,
following is not the question. even if nobody follows a buddha, a buddha is a buddha. and if the
whole world follows, it makes no difference, because people always follow for the wrong
reasons. don't look for followers. but that is how you feel: who is the authority? how many people
follow? you always move through wrong arguments.
said the duke: 'the experts, the authorities.' phien asked: 'alive or dead?'
that old phien must have been a man of knowledge, a really wise man; because it is difficult
to find a person who believes in an alive authority. how can a person who is alive be your
authority? it takes time, a long time -- only then somebody becomes the authority.
it happened that i was visiting a buddhist vihar -- a monastery, and the inmates gathered and
asked me to say something about buddha and so i said something. the head priest was a little
uncomfortable. at the end, he asked me: i have never found the story that you told in any scripture
and i have read all that buddha has said. no authority quotes it, i have heard it for the first time,
where have you got it from? so i told him: i create stories, and if it not written in your scriptures,
you can add it. i am my own authority.
how are scriptures created? if somebody wrote it one thousand years ago, then he is an
authority. but if i add a story, then, no! but why? it is just time. buddha died and after five
hundred years, stories were written -- but not at the time. so if after five hundred years stories
could be written then why not after two thousand five hundred years? the head priest couldn't
believe that i could say this.
this phien must have been a very wise man; he said, 'alive or dead?' authorities are almost
always dead, and i tell you that if you can believe in a living authority, you will be transformed.
carry the dead and they will make you dead -- that is how you have become dull and insensitive.
be with the living and you will become more alive because whatsoever you do changes you. if
you believe in the dead, you believe in death not life. if you believe in the living, you believe in
life not death.
the duke said:'dead a long time.'
and really, every religion tries to prove that their authorities are very, very old, extremely
ancient. ask hindus -- they say their dharma sanatan has no beginning. they are the most cunning:
they say it has no beginning so you cannot prove your religion is more ancient than theirs. they
have finished it; it has no beginning. they say that the vedas are the most ancient, and they think
that if you can prove that vedas are the most ancient then they are more authoritative.
somehow the mind thinks that the older a thing is the better as if truth is a wine -- the older
the better. and all interpretations are nothing but putting old wine in new bottles. truth is not a
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wine, truth is not at all like wine, it is just the opposite: the newer it is, the fresher, younger,
deeper it is. the alive is more profound; the dead is flat -- dust left by the past, nothing else.
but hindus prove their vedas are very, very old and they go pushing the date of the vedas
backwards. and they become very angry if somebody proves that they are not so old, they think
you are irreligious, you have gone mad. ask the jains: they prove that their teerthankaras are older
than the vedas. and they have a point, because their first teerthankara is mentioned in rig veda, so
that is a clear proof.
if the first teerthankara is mentioned with respect in the rig veda it shows that he must have
already been dead long before, otherwise how can you show such respect to a living person? not
just mentioned, but mentioned with respect, as a god, that means he must have been dead for at
least five thousand years. only then a man becomes a god so jains say their religion is the most
ancient -- and this is how all religions try. why this effort to prove that you are the most ancient?
because the mind believes in death, the mind believes in past. mind is nothing but past.
so you think that your mind will be greater if your authority is ancient, because the greater
the gap of time, the accumulation of tradition, the longer the stretch for the mind to move. mind
needs time to move and mind is nothing but accumulated past, so you will have a bigger mind if
your past is bigger and you will have a smaller mind if your past is not so big. that is why all the
old traditions, countries and races, always look at americans as childish because they have no past
-- just three hundred years. it is a past? three hundred years? it is nothing. not only that but if you
follow a master and he says that his age is five hundred years then he will collect more followers.
i have heard that it was rumoured about a lama in tibet that he was one thousand years old.
an englishman visited him, he travelled from london just for this purpose -- because the lama was
one thousand years old. this was rare. he visited the lama and he couldn't believe it, the man
looked not more than fifty. so he enquired. he asked the lama's chief disciple: is it true that your
master is one thousand years old? the disciple said: i cannot say because i have only been with
him for three hundred years.
but this is how it is: the older a thing the more authority it has. even if somebody says that
his guru is one hundred and fifty, suddenly you feel that here is something very valuable. just by
becoming old, you think something valuable happens. you can be one hundred and fifty years old
and be just a one hundred and fifty year old fool -- because age cannot bring wisdom, it is not
concerned with it. on the contrary, children are more wise; they have to be. god cannot be wrong,
he always kills the old men and replaces them with children. that means he believes in children
more than in old men. old men means -- discard, throw them out, they are of no use now. god
believes in the new and man believes in the old, god always believes in the new leaf, that is why
the old leaf is shed. and he replaces it by the new, by the fresh, by the young.
god is eternally young and new and so is religion. but authorities.... so you cannot believe in
god's authority. if you look at the divine creativity all around you will always feel that he looks a
little crazy, because by the time a man has become wise, he withdraws him. you have become
ninety years old, lived your life, past all seasons, known much, gathered experience, and by the
time you have become wise, he calls you: come on, go out of life. and he replaces you with a
small child; you are replaced by a small child who does not know anything. it seems that he loves
innocence more than knowledge and he loves fresh leaves more than old, pale leaves. and it
should be so, because life has to be young, and if he is eternal life, he has to be eternally young.
that is why hindus never depict krishna or ram as old. that is symbolic, they are always
young. have you seen any picture of ram looking very old or of krishna with a staff in his hand,
bent over it? he lived eighty years, he was old, but hindus have simply dropped the idea of
depicting him as old, because if you look at god he is always young. so it is just to show that god
is always young and religion is always fresh, just like an innocent babe, just like the morning
dew, just like the first star in the night. but then god cannot be an authority because authority
means the weight of the past; without the weight of the past, authority is not created.
phien asked: 'alive or dead?' the duke said: 'dead a long time.' 'then,' said the wheelwright,
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'you are reading only the dirt they left behind.'
whenever you are too engaged with the past you are engaged with dirt, with graves, you are
a gravedigger. you live in a cemetery, you are no longer a part of the living phenomenon that life
is.
the duke replied: 'what do you know about it? you are only a wheelwright. you had better
give me a good explanation or else you must die.'
the duke could not believe his own ears that just an ordinary wheelwright would like to
teach him wise things. people who are ready to learn are ready to learn from everywhere. this
man is ready to learn from dead authorities but not from a living wheelwright. and i tell you, a
living wheelwright is better than a dead king because he is alive. nobody is going to worship him
but god still trusts him; that is why he is alive.
the duke was very angry, he said: 'you had better give me a good explanation or else you
must die.'
the wheelwright said: 'let us look at the affair from my point of view. when i make wheels,
if i go easy, they fall apart, and if i am too rough they do not fit. but if i am neither too easy nor
too violent they come out right. the work is what i want it to be.
you cannot put this into words, you have to know how it is.'
the wheelwright was saying: i don't know about authorities and experts. let us look from my
view point. yes, i am just a wheelwright, but i know my craft, and i have learned something from
it. and that is this: it is a skill, and so subtle and delicate that it cannot be put into words.
if you move to the extremes the wheel never comes out as it should. you have to remain just
in the middle. and how can you put it into words? ask a tight rope-walker, how can he put it into
words? how does he walk on the rope stretched between two hills over a valley, where if he falls
he falls forever, he will be dead? how does he walk on the rope? can he put it into words? he will
say: if i lean too much toward the right immediately i have to balance, and lean towards the left.
if i lean too much to the left again i have to lean towards the right, towards the opposite direction,
to balance.
this can be written, but just by reading it, don't stretch a rope and go for a walk; you will
never come back. because it is not a question of knowing intellectually, it is a question of feeling
through your whole being -- how much to lean? and there cannot be any fixed formula, each
person is different. it will depend on the person, on the weight, the height, and the situation, the
wind blowing. and it will depend on the inner mind. you will have to feel it, you cannot have a
fixed formula and follow it. you will have to learn through a master; you cannot go to a college
and learn it.
in college, you can learn philosophy, you can learn mathematics, you can learn science --
everything, but you cannot learn a skill. a skill is learned only through a master who knows, and
simply by watching him, you start feeling him. and you have so much trust in him, that if he
moves to the right, your inner being also moves to the right. if he moves to the left, your inner
being feels it, and you move to the left. you become his shadow, and by and by you start.
the wheelwright said: let us look at the affair from my point of view. when i make wheels, if
i go easy, they fall apart, and if i am too rough, they do not fit. but if i am neither too easy nor too
violent they come out right. the work is what i want it to be.
you cannot put this into words, you have to know how it is. i cannot even tell my son
exactly how it is done, and my own son cannot learn it from me. so here i am, seventy years old,
still making wheels!
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what is he saying? he is saying one of the most profound truths: that there are things which
can be learned only through your totality; intellect alone will not help. you can make a formula
but then you will miss, because in every changed situation you will be carrying a dead formula,
and it will not help. in every changed situation a changed response is needed. that means only
consciousness will help, not knowledge. you have to carry a light within you so that in every
situation you can feel the situation that is here and now. and you need not fix the situation in a
formula; rather, on the contrary, you have to discover the formula every time there is a new
situation.
life goes on moving, it never repeats itself; even if it appears to be repeating, it never
repeats itself. it cannot. if you feel that life repeats, it is only because you cannot feel the new,
you are so dead. otherwise it never repeats. a cloud that you have seen this morning will never
again be in the sky -- it cannot be. the sun that has risen this morning will not rise again, because
the whole universe will be different tomorrow morning. it is such a vast thing and everything is
changing.
everything goes on changing. nothing is old ever, except the human mind. that is the only
old thing -- the only museum in the world, a collection of fossils, the only graveyard. otherwise
everything is new. just look! drop the human mind! can you find anything old in this world?
everything is changing, even the himalayas. they go on changing; they say that they are rising,
one foot every year.
everything goes on changing: the oceans change, the earth changes, even the continents go
on moving.
now scientists have discovered the fact that the continents have moved much. once africa
was joined to india. once ceylon, sri lanka, must have been very near to india, otherwise the
monkey hanuman could not have jumped across. there must have been just a small river, a stream
between the two. now scientists have proved that continents move, they go on changing:
everything is changing, nothing is static.
eddington is reported to have said that in his life he had come to understand that there was
one human word that was absolutely wrong and that was 'rest', because there is no rest.
everything goes on moving, nothing is in a state of rest, nothing can be -- life is a flux. if life is a
flux, then this wheelwright is right, because he says that nothing can be said, with every wheel it
is different: the wood is different, the cart is different, the situation is different, the road is
different -- and one has to be conscious about it: 'i cannot put it into words, i cannot even teach
my own son.'
and it is really difficult to teach your own son. have you ever heard that buddha could teach
his own son? have you ever heard what happened to chuang tzu's own son, what happened to lao
tzu's son? it is very difficult for a father to teach his own son because their egos are always
antagonistic. it is very difficult, because a son is always fighting with the father. he wants to
prove something, that he is better than the father. he thinks that his father is just an old fool. and
the father cannot believe that his son can learn anything. he is just a son and he remains a son.
even if the son is seventy and the father is ninety he thinks that he is just a baby. it is very difficult
to find a meeting point between a father and son, the bridge is impossible, almost impossible.
this wheelwright says that he cannot teach even his son, who is so near to him. he cannot
say what he means and so here he is, seventy years old, and still making wheels. he is saying. it is
time for me to retire. i am old enough now. the body is in tatters and i cannot work any more. but
what to do? nobody has been able to learn the art, and i am still here making wheels.
remember that the sufis are the only ones who have used this story very beautifully, because
they always teach through a craft -- only sufis. they teach through a craft. the craft may be
anything: the craft of a carpenter or a wheelwright, the craft of a painter, shoemaker, or anything
whatsoever. sufis teach through crafts; first you have to learn the craft from the master and then
he will teach you the innermost thing. why? this seems absurd!
for ten years the disciple learns how to make shoes, and then after ten years or twelve years
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or even twenty years, when he has become a perfect master in making shoes, the master starts
teaching him about the inner world. this seems to be a sheer waste of time. it is not, because sufis
say that the question is not what you learn, the subject matter is not the question -- how you learn
is. once you have learned how to learn then the innermost keys can be given to you immediately.
in ten or twenty years of living with a master and learning how to make shoes, the disciple
imbibes the spirit. the more he imbibes the spirit of the master, the more he becomes a perfect
shoemaker. spirituality is not touched at all, not talked about -- just the learning to imbibe. and
anything will do -- whatsoever the master feels is fit or whatsoever he is skilled in. and by the
time he feels that you can now imbibe, you have imbibed the art, then he will teach you the inner
world. then he will bring you to the door of the temple. then he will say that now i can hand over
the key. and if you cannot even learn shoemaking, how can you learn the divine?
this wheelwright's standpoint is absolutely right. 'so here i am, seventy years old, still
making wheels!' nobody has been able to learn from me while i am alive, how can you learn from
the authorities which are dead? and if not even wheelmaking can be learned, how can you learn
the supreme-most art of life -- the supreme-most craft of bringing the divine to man or bringing
man to the divine?
'the men of old took all they really knew with them to the grave. and so, lord, what you are
reading there is only the dirt they left behind them.'
this is to be remembered -- one of the most profound sentences.'the men of old took all they
really knew with them to the grave.' when a buddha dies, whatsoever he knows disappears with
him. it has to be so, this is the way, this is how things are. we may not wish it so, but our wishes
are not the question. whatsoever a mahavir knows disappears from this world when he dies. no. it
cannot be carried by scriptures, it cannot be carried by scholars. words will be repeated and
memorised, written, worshipped, but they are just dust, left-overs, dead things, graves. you can
make temples out of them, beautiful temples, and worship and go on worshipping, but
whatsoever a buddha knows disappears with him because that knowledge is not separate from
buddha, it is his being. it is one with him, it is he himself. when he disappears, his consciousness
goes into the infinite, the river has fallen into the ocean. you can go on worshipping that dry bed
of the river, where the river once was, but it is no longer there. you can make temples,
pilgrimages, but it is not of much use.
what is this wheelwright saying? he is saying that one should always seek a living master,
always seek the alive because only the alive is here, only life penetrates the world of matter. and
when a buddha disappears, he simply disappears with all that he knew. that is why buddhas are
always in a hurry to teach, always in a hurry to give, to find one who can learn, because the
moment they disappear, all they know will disappear.
and it has to be discovered again and again, it is not like science. science is a tradition;
religion is individual. if something is discovered by newton, it will be there, written in the books
in the libraries, einstein can be benefitted by it. really without newton, there cannot be any
einstein, he has to stand on newton's shoulders. he may contradict newton, but he stands on him,
he is the base. whatsoever einstein discovers will remain a part of humanity, always. that is why
science goes on growing, progressively accumulating more and more speed.
but religion always disappears with the person who discovers it. you cannot stand on
buddha's shoulders. no! there is no possibility! you will have to stand on your feet again and
again and again. religion has to be discovered again and again and again. it is an individual
discovery, it cannot become a tradition. difficult, but beautiful also, because it cannot be
borrowed. it is always fresh and young and new. it is just like love. majnu and laila loved, shirin
and farihad loved, romeo and juliet loved, but you cannot stand on their shoulders and love more.
love cannot be an accumulative thing. when you fall in love the whole thing has to be re-
discovered. when you fall in love, it is almost as if no one loved before you. whether anyone
loved or not, it makes no difference -- you love anew, the discovery is again new. every lover
enters into the temple of love fresh. no footprints are left of past lovers, their love disappears with
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them. and it is good, otherwise even love will be just a tradition, a well trodden path with maps.
and when you walk on the path of love, where millions have walked, it is not worth walking. it
becomes a super highway, a market thing, a commodity -- then it is no more a temple. but when
you love, you love for the first time! it is not a repetition of anybody's love, it is you.
god loves through you again for the first time. this is the paradox -- i say 'again for the first
time'. the mystery is revealed. this is how religion is, prayer is, meditation is. no, you cannot
follow the dead, you can only be in the presence of the living ones. and you have to imbibe.
when you enter, this will be again for the first time. and it is good that when buddha
disappears everything disappears with him. you have to find the path again,;t is an eternal hide
and seek game. god again goes into hiding, you have to discover him again, otherwise buddha has
discovered him and we can put a sign there: 'here lives god' -- finished! anybody who wants to
can come. no! he again goes into hiding, and remember, he is a very skillful player. you will
never find him in the old hiding place again. he is hiding somewhere else.
that is why old techniques become useless, new devices have to be discovered again and
again because god hides in new places. he finds new caves, he always vacates the old. he says:
now it is finished, this cave is finished. now let worshippers worship here, but i will not be here.
***** chapter 10 : man is a born in tao *****
20 october 1974 am in buddha hall
fishes are born in water, man is born in tao. if fishes, born in water, seek the deep shadow of
pond and pool, all their needs are satisfied.
if man, born in tao, sinks into the deep shadow of non-action to forget aggression and
concern, he lacks nothing, his life is secure.
needs can be fulfilled, but desires cannot be. desire is a need gone mad. needs are simple,
they come from nature; desires are very complex they don't come from nature. they are created by
the mind. needs are moment to moment, they are created out of life itself. desires are not moment
to moment, they are always for the future. they are not created by life itself, they are projected by
the mind. desires are projections, they are not really needs. this is the first thing to be understood,
and the deeper you understand, the better. what is desire? it is movement of the mind into the
future. need belongs to this moment -- if you are hungry it is a need, and has to be fulfilled. and it
can be fulfilled. there's no problem about it. if you are thirsty, you are thirsty here and now, you
have to seek water. it should be fulfilled -- so it is a life need. but desires are not like that. you
desire to be the president of a country. it is not a need, it is an ambition, it is an ego projection
into the future. or you desire heaven -- that too is in the future; or you desire god -- that too is in
the future. remember, needs are always here and now -- they are existential. and desires are never
here and now -- they are non-existential. they are just mental, in the mind. and they cannot be
fulfilled because their very nature is to move into the future.
they are just like the horizon you see. it seems that just nearby somewhere the earth meets
the sky. it is so apparent! you can walk there! but you could go on walking forever and ever, and
the distance will remain the same; always somewhere ahead the earth will be meeting the sky. but
you will never reach that place, that point where the earth meets the sky. they never meet. this is
just an appearance, what hindus call maya: it appears, but it is not so. it appears if you are
standing at a distance. the nearer you come the more you realise that it is not so. the horizon
moves further ahead, and the distance between you and it always remains the same.
the distance between you and your desire always remains the same. how can you fulfill it?
if you desire ten thousand rupees, you may get them some day. but by the time you get them, the
desire will have gone ten thousand times ahead again. you have one thousand rupees; the desire
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will ask for ten thousand. now you have ten thousand; the desire will ask for one hundred
thousand. the distance remains the same. you may have one hundred thousand -- it makes no
difference. ten times again, the desire will remain the same.
needs are simple. they can be fulfilled. you feel hungry and you eat; you feel thirsty and
you drink; you feel sleepy, you go to bed.
desires are very cunning and complex. you are frustrated, but not because of needs. you are
frustrated because of desires. and if desires take too much of your energy you will be unable to
fulfill your needs also, because who is there to fulfill them? you are moving into the future; you
are thinking of the future; your mind is dreaming. who is there to fulfill ordinary needs of the
day? you are not there. and you would like to remain hungry but reach the horizon. you would
like to postpone needs so that the whole energy moves towards the desire. but in the end, you find
that the desire is not fulfilled, and because needs have been neglected, in the end you are just a
ruin. and the time that is lost cannot be regained; you cannot go back.
there is a story told of one old wise man, whose name was mencius. he was a follower of
confucius and he died when he was very, very old. somebody asked him: if you were given life
again, how will you start it? said mencius: i will pay more attention to my needs and less
attention to my desires. and this realisation will come to you also. but it always comes very late
and then life is no more in your hands. if you were given life again....
needs are beautiful; desires are ugly. needs are bodily; desires are psychological. but look at
your so-called saints and sages: they always condemn your needs and always help your desires to
be projected. they say: what are you doing? just eating? sleeping? wasting your life? try to reach
heaven! heaven is the ultimate desire. paradise is waiting for you, and you are wasting your life
on ordinary things -- just vegetating. stand up and run, because there is not much time left! reach!
knock at the door of heaven! reach god! but don't stand there!
they always condemn your needs and they always help your desires. that's why the world
has become so ugly -- everybody is full of desires and nobody's needs are fulfilled. that which
can be fulfilled is neglected and that which cannot be fulfilled is being fed. this is the misery of
man. chuang tzu is for needs. fulfill them and don't ask for desires. simply drop the very idea,
because there is no future, only the present exists. and how beautiful it is! when you feel hungry,
you eat -- there is no future. and when you are so much into eating it becomes a paradise unto
itself. that's what jesus says: don't think of the morrow. look at the lilies of the field, they don't
accumulate, they don't think, they are not worried about the future. they flower here and now.
look at the blooming lilies -- the tomorrow will take care of itself.
you just be here and now. this moment is enough, don't ask for more. this is the real sage --
the one who lives in the moment, for whom this moment is enough. he is fulfilled. there is no
heaven for him, he is heaven himself. there is no god for him, he has become divine himself. this
will be very difficult, because whatsoever i am saying is against many centuries of teaching and
poisoning. eat when you feel hungry, and in that moment make eating a celebration. celebrate!
because who knows, next time you may not be there. the hunger may not be there, nor this
beautiful bread. thirst may not be there -- nor may this river be there. drink it! let yourself be here
so concentrated that time stops; because time is not moving -- your mind moves. if you are in this
moment, totally concentrated, enjoying it with your total being, time stops. there is no movement
of time, there is no horizon and no running after it. but everybody is in a hurry to reach the
horizon.
it happened that mulla nasrudin entered a hospital. the surgeon who was going to operate
said to him: here we believe in speed, and we don't waste any time. after the operation, on the
very first day you have to walk for five minutes in the room; the next day, for half an hour,
outside the hospital; the third day, a long walk of one hour. here we don't waste time. life is short
and time is money. it has to be saved. mulla nasrudin said: just one question -- do you mind if i lie
down for the operation?
everybody is in a hurry. where are you going in such a hurry? have you ever seen somebody
reaching anywhere? have you heard of anybody who has ever reached anywhere through hurry,
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through impatience, through speed? we have heard about a few people who reached by stopping
but we have never heard of anybody who reached by running. buddha stopped and reached. jesus
stopped and reached. chuang tzu stopped and reached. you carry the goal within you, there is
nowhere else to go. but desire leads you to distant lands, to distant times, to distant points in
space. and the more you are desirous, the more you are in a hurry, the more you go on missing
yourself -- frustrated, tattered, you are just a ruin before you die.
but in that ruin the desire is still there. you have gathered a whole life of experiences of
desire, and your mind says: you failed because you didn't make enough effort. look, others have
succeeded. look at the neighbours. they have succeeded, but you have failed because you didn't
run fast enough. next time be ready.
you gather all this attitude in a seed, then you are born again, and the whole vicious circle
starts again. where are you going? is there anywhere to go? and even if you reach somewhere you
will still be yourself. even if you are made a president this very moment, of this country or some
other country, do you think anything will change? you will remain the same -- the same frustrated
being, the same ambitious being, with the same tension, the same anguish, the same nightmares.
mulla nasrudin once knocked at his psychiatrist's door. said the psychiatrist: what is the
matter now? mulla nasrudin said: i'm having a nightmare, it recurs every night. help me! i cannot
sleep, it has become a heavy burden on my head. something has to be done now! he was really in
trouble, his eyes were sore and his whole body looked as if he had not slept for many, many
months.
the psychiatrist became concerned. he said: tell me, tell me about the nightmare. what is it?
said nasrudin: every night i have a dream, a horrible dream. the dream is that i am on my own
with twelve beautiful women. the psychiatrist said: i don't see the point. what is horrible about it?
twelve beautiful women, and you are on your own with them, what is horrible about that?
nasrudin said: have you ever tried loving twelve women? alone? on an island? but you are loving
twelve thousand women -- every desire is a woman. and your whole life has become a nightmare:
so many desires, so many horizons, so many things to be reached before life is lost. that's why
you are in such a hurry -- you cannot be anywhere. you go on running and running and running
until you simply fall into the arms of death. death is the end of your whole effort.
remember, the first thing is that needs are beautiful. and this is the difference between other
sages, so-called sages, and chuang tzu -- needs are beautiful, desires are ugly. the distinction is:
need comes from the body and the desire is created by the mind. happier are animals, the birds,
the trees, because they have got no mind to desire; they are happy wherever they are. they live
and they die, but they are never in anguish, the tension is not there. this is the first thing to be
remembered -- the distinction, the clear-cut distinction, between desire and needs. and accept
needs, nothing is wrong with them, but drop desires -- everything is wrong with them, because
they don't allow you to be here and now. and that is the only existence possible. there is no other
existence.
bloom like lilies in the field, sing like birds in the trees, be wild like wild animals!
and don't listen to the poisoners, enjoy simple bodily needs. how many needs have you got?
one needs food, one needs water, one needs shade, one needs a loving heart -- that's all. and if
there were not so many desires, the whole world would become a garden of eden this very
moment. because of desires we cannot pay attention to simple needs. and look... even animals can
fulfill their needs but man cannot fulfill his needs. why is man poor? not because the earth is poor
but because man is mad, he puts more energy into desires. reaching the moon seems to be more
important than feeding the poor. what is the use of reaching the moon? what will you do?
but this is the whole trend of the mind. with the money america has wasted in reaching the
moon the whole of asia could have been fed, all the backward countries could have been
developed. and what have you gained by reaching the moon? the american flag is now on the
moon -- this is the gain. and there is nobody to even see it! and now other planets are the target.
the moon has been conquered -- now other planets have to be conquered. why this moon-
madness? why this lunatic craziness?
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this word 'lunatic' is very good. it comes form 'luna', the moon. a madman is always moon
mad, struck by the moon; the moon has always been the goal of all the mad people. for the first
time they have achieved the goal, they have reached the moon. but what have they gained out of
it? when you have reached the moon, the goal shifts ahead, the horizon goes ahead. now you have
to reach another planet -- and then another planet. why so much wastage of energy and life? and
the so called religions go on condemning your needs. this has become their slogan -- not to enjoy
is to be religious. 'eat drink and be merry' is their condemnation. whenever they want to condemn
anybody, they will say: he believes in 'eat, drink and be merry.' but chuang tzu says: eat, drink
and be merry. if you can be totally in it, you have achieved the tao, nothing more is needed. be
simple, allow nature, and don't force nature in any direction. don't become a soldier, a fighter, a
warrior with life. surrender to life and let life happen through you. that is the first thing.
the second thing: everybody is in search of security. but then you are in search of an
impossibility. and whenever you seek an impossibility, you meet frustration. it is not possible, it
is not the nature of things to be secure. insecurity is the very soul of life. insecurity is the very
taste: as the sea tastes salty, so anywhere you taste life it tastes insecure. only death is secure. life
has to be insecure because of its very nature. why?
whenever a thing is alive it is changing; only a dead thing never changes. whenever there is
change there is insecurity. what does change mean? a change means moving from the known into
the unknown. and the base of all insecurity is that you want to cling to the known.
look at it in this way: a child is in the womb of the mother. if it wants to be secure it is
better to cling to the womb and not come out. can you get a more secure situation, a more secure
position, than being in the womb forever and ever?
there is no responsibility for the child -- no job, no office, no problem to solve. everything
is solved automatically. the child has not even to breathe on his own, the mother breathes for him.
the child's heart beats through the heart-beat of the mother, the mother's blood goes on feeding
the child. he is perfectly in heaven. can you think of a better heaven than the womb --
comfortable, asleep, not even a dream flickers in, in a silent sleep? and then comes the birth! and
psychologists say that birth is very traumatic because the child is thrown out, uprooted from his
security. a convenient home, the most comfortable.... we have not been able to create anything
like it. no noise enters; it is as if the world does not exist at all. the child has not to make any
choice and be divided; there is no training, no conditioning. he simply enjoys himself as if he is
the very centre of the world.
and then suddenly comes the birth. it is traumatic, insecurity comes into existence for the
child for the first time. now he has to breathe; now he has to cry when he feels hungry, when he
feels thirsty, when he feels uncomfortable. he has to make his own arrangements and he has to
start being worried. if the mother is not there he is worried. he is wet, he cries and cries and
nobody listens. now comes tension, insecurity; he is always afraid the mother may leave him. and
the mother always goes on threatening: listen to me, otherwise i will leave you. mothers even
threaten the child: listen, follow, otherwise i will die. this is a threat! the child trembles to his very
roots. he has to follow, he has to make arrangements, he has to become false and to wear masks.
he has to play roles -- even if he does not feel like smiling, if the mother comes, he has to smile.
he has to become a politician and to take care how others feel about him, otherwise he will feel
insecure.
now he will never be as secure as in the womb. what should he do? should he cling to the
womb? and it seems that the child does cling, he does not want to come out. many times the help
of a doctor is needed to bring the child out -- his whole being clings. he resists; he wants to be
there as he is, the known. and can you think of anything more unknown, more strange for the
child than the world? he opens his eyes and everything is strange, there are sounds all around. he
becomes scared. and he will grow, and as he grows, more insecurity grows. sooner or later he will
be sent to school -- now even the home is no more his base. and every child resists. you cannot
find a child who is happy to go to school -- unless the home is a hell. no child wants to go to
school, he resists, he clings to the mother, to the house, because now he is being pushed into
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another birth -- he is being thrown out of the home. and then he will start clinging to the school.
if you go to the university and look, and feel the pulse of the students, nobody wants to
leave the university.
there are many cases of people unconsciously making arrangements to fail again and again,
because the university is again security. the father cares, he sends money, and you simply live like
a prince. still the world has not entered, but the whole world is pulling you into insecurity and
sooner or later you will have to be thrown out of the university. it is not accidental that all over
the world people call the university 'the mother'. it is meaningful. it is the mother -- you are still a
child, and the society is taking care of you. but still, every day you are moving more and more
into insecurity.
mother love has a security. the mother will love you whether you love her or not. it is a one-
way traffic, she will love you naturally. but now you will have to seek a woman who will not love
you naturally. you will have to love her. if you need love you will have to give love. with a
mother it was different, everything was taken for granted. but with another woman, it is not going
to be so; you will have to earn your love with this woman, that's why there is a constant fight. a
man wants his wife to be just like his mother. but why should she be a mother to him? she is not a
mother, she is a wife. and she is in the same situation -- she wants the man, the husband, to be her
father.
what is the meaning of it?
a mother's love is unconditional. it is given to you, she shares. a father's love is
unconditional -- just because you are his child, he loves you, there is no need to earn it. but when
you move into the world you have to earn a husband's love, a wife's love. and any moment it can
be withdrawn. fear, insecurity.... hence marriage has come into existence because lovers are so
insecure they want legal sanction. so the government protects them, the society protects them.
otherwise what would be the need for marriage? if love is really there, you need not get married.
why? there is a fear that the love may be here today but who knows about tomorrow? and if love
goes, then what will you do? who will you fall back on? the law, the court, the government -- they
become the securities. then you can go to the court and you can demand love.
every society makes divorce as difficult as possible, marriage as easy as possible. this
seems absurd, it should be just the opposite -- marriage should be made as difficult as possible.
because two persons are moving in an unknown world; let them wait, watch, think, brood,
meditate. give them time. to my mind it seems that at least three years should be allowed before
the court allows anybody to marry. and i think that then nobody would get married! three years!
impossible! after the honeymoon everything is over. then people cling because of the law and the
security and the problems that will come if they get separated. children have come, now marriage
becomes a responsibility, not a bliss, not ecstasy.
and society is always happy if you are worried and not in ecstasy, because an ecstatic man
cannot be exploited. only a worried man can be exploited; only a worried man can be made into a
slave. an ecstatic man can never be a slave, he is too dangerous for society. he is rebellious, he
does not need society -- that is what an ecstatic being means. he alone is enough. and if he doesn't
need society, then society cannot force things on him. society wants you to be worried, ill at ease,
then you will depend on it. then you will go to the court and you will look towards the magistrate
as if he were some god. then the government, the state, the policemen, all become important,
because you are worried. but if you are ecstatic.... lovers can forget them, but not married people.
lovers can forget the policeman, he is not needed at all. their love is enough, but when love goes,
then the policeman is needed to keep them united. a policeman is needed -- now he will create
trouble if you separate. and just to avoid that trouble, people go on living together.
life is dangerous, but that is the beauty of it -- it is insecure, because insecurity is the very
nature of movement, aliveness, vitality. the more dead you are, the more secure. when you are in
your grave there will be no danger. what can happen to you anymore? nothing! nobody can harm
you when you are dead. but when you are alive, you are vulnerable, you can be harmed. but i tell
you, that is the beauty of life.
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a flower in the morning cannot believe that by the evening it will be gone. but that is the
beauty of it -- in the morning it is so glorious, so magnificent, an emperor, and by the evening it is
gone. just think of a flower made of stone or plastic -- it remains. it remains; it will never fade.
but whenever something never fades it means it never bloomed. marraige is a plastic flower, love
is the real flower -- in the morning it blooms, by the evening it hag gone. a marriage continues, it
has a permanency about it. but in this impermanent world how can anything real be permanent?
everything real will have to exist moment to moment. and there is insecurity; any moment it
can disappear. the flower that blooms will fade; the sun that has arisen will set. everything will
change. but if you are too afraid of insecurity then you will make arrangements. and with those
arrangements, you will kill everything -- a wife is a dead beloved, a husband is a murdered lover.
then things are settled, now there is no problem. but then the whole life drags.
i'm not saying that love cannot be eternal -- it can be. but insecurity is its nature; you cannot
make it permanent. remember! you have to move moment to moment. if it fades, you have to
accept it; if it goes on blooming, you enjoy it. it depends. but you cannot be secure about it. how
can you be secure about the future? who knows whether you will be there or not? if even about
yourself you cannot be secure, what about your love?
but you go on promising and you don't know what you are doing. when you love a person,
you feel that you will love him forever and ever. this is a feeling of this moment; don't make it a
promise. just say: this moment, i feel that i will love you forever and ever, but i don't know how i
will feel about the next moment. nobody can say anything about the next moment, nobody can
promise. if you promise, you live in a plastic world. a promise cannot be given. and this is the
truth, the honesty of love it will not promise. but everybody wants the promise just to be secure;
and the more afraid you are, the more promise you require. that's why women want more
promises than men, they are more afraid, they feel naturally more insecure. they would like to
make everything permanent, only then will they move a step. and then you go on giving false
promises which cannot be fulfilled. every promise is broken. and with every promise your heart is
broken and the other's heart is broken. and with every promise disappearing life becomes futile
and meaningless; the poetry is lost, it becomes a flat prose, a legal phenomenon. you come and
make love to your wife, and it becomes a legal thing, you have to do it, it is not spontaneous. you
have to kiss your child, it is not spontaneous, you have to do it, it is a duty.
and duty is the ugliest thing, i tell you. love is the most beautiful; duty is the ugliest.
love is an unknown phenomenon, you cannot manipulate it. duty is a social by product.
now the wife can say: you have to love me; this is your duty, and you promised! and you know
that you promised. then what can you do? if the love has disappeared, or at this moment you don't
feel like loving, or this night you don't feel like making love, what to do? just to keep the promise
of the past you have to be false and act. so you say: okay, yes, i promised. what will you do? can
you promise love on demand? is it possible? has it ever happened? can you produce love?
you cannot, but you can pretend. that pretending will become more and more settled
because spontaneity is not allowed. and then everybody feels cheated, because a pretended love
cannot fulfill. everybody knows it is pretended, you can see through it. you make all the
movements of love, but love is not there. it is just like a yoga exercise: the movements are there,
the gestures are there, but heart is not there. you are somewhere else, on duty or on demand, but
you also feel: yes, i promised.
and i tell you that the promise may have been absolutely right, but every promise is for the
moment. you cannot promise that you will be there tomorrow. how can you promise that your
love will be there? you can say only that this is the feeling for this moment: forever and forever i
will love you, hut this is a momentary feeling -- if things disappear the next moment, what can i
do? but security creates the problem -- in everything you need security, that's why everything has
become false.
life is insecure! let this truth penetrate deeper and deeper in you. let it become a seed deep
in your heart -- life is insecure. it is its nature and nothing can be done about it -- all that you do
will be poisonous. you can only kill. and the more secure you feel, the more dead you will be.
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look at people who are really secure with wealth, prestige, castles around them -- you can see
they are dead. just see their faces, the eyes look as if they are made of stone. their faces look like
masks, 'persona'; their gestures are automatic, they are not in them, they are encaged and not
flowing -- frozen and unmoving. they are not like rivers dancing, running, towards the sea. they
are dead dull ponds, not moving anywhere, not flowing anywhere.
every moment you have to face the unknown. this is the insecurity: the past is no more and
the future has still to come into being. the future is unpredictable, every moment you are at the
door of the unpredictable. this has to be welcomed. every moment the unknown is the guest.
in india we have a very beautiful word for guest, no other language has that word. it is
atithi. it means: one who comes without giving any previous information, one who comes without
giving any date that he is coming. atithi means 'without date'; he has no date with you, he simply
comes and knocks at the door. but we who are so mad and obsessed about security, we have even
killed guests. if a guest comes he has first to inform you and ask for permission to come --
because you have to make room for him and you have to make arrangements. nobody can just
suddenly knock at your door.
in the west, the guest has completely disappeared; even if he comes, he stays in a hotel. the
guest is no more because the west is more obsessed with security than the east. of course, because
of that obsession they have accumulated more wealth, more securities, more bank balances.
everything is insured, but the man is dead. now no atithi, now no stranger knocks at your door,
the unknown has stopped coming to you. everything has become known so you move in a vicious
circle of the known. from one known you go to another known, from that known to another, and
then you say: why has life got no meaning?
meaning comes from the unknown, from the stranger, from the unpredictable that suddenly
knocks at your door -- a flower that suddenly blooms and you never expected it; a friend that
suddenly happens to be on the street and you never waited; a love that blooms suddenly and you
were not even aware that this was going to happen, you had not even imagined, not even
dreamed. then life has meaning. then life has a dance. then every step is happy because it is not a
step filled with duty, it is a step moving into the unknown. the river is going towards the sea.
insecurity is the nature of tao. don't make securities -- otherwise you are cutting yourself off
from nature, from tao. and the more secure you are, the further away you will be. move into the
unknown and let the unknown have its own way. don't force it, don't push the river, allow it to
flow, and never promise a rose garden to anybody. and when you love, be authentic and true.
when you love, be authentic and true, and say only, 'at this moment i feel this, when the next
moment comes i will tell you'... as if this moment is the whole of life. and i tell you, if you are so
loving at this moment then the next moment you will be more loving, because the next moment is
born out of this moment. but that is not a promise, not an insurance. if you have loved so totally
in this moment you will love even more totally in the next. it looks absurd -- how can totality be
more? but it happens.
life is absurd. if you have loved totally and authentically and truly and bloomed in this
moment, why fear the next moment? you will bloom. even if this flower fades, another flower
will come. don't be bothered with this flower. life goes on blooming into this flower, into that
one, sometimes on this tree, sometimes on another. but life continues, flowers fade. it means that
form fades but the formless goes on moving. so why bother? but you are bothered because you
are missing this moment, that is why you are afraid of the next moment. this moment you have
not loved; that is why you are making securities for another moment. this moment you have not
lived; that is why you are so scared of the unknown. you are making securities for how to live in
the next moment. and this is a vicious circle because you will be there with all your habits,
patterns, with all dead routines you will be there. you kill this moment and you km the next also.
forget the future! live in the present and be so totally in it that whatever comes out of this
totality will be a blessing. even if the flower fades it will be beautiful. have you really observed a
flower fading? it is beautiful. it has a sadness about it but who told you that sadness is not
beautiful. who says that only laughter is beautiful? i tell you that laughter is shallow if there is no
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sadness in it. and sadness is dead if there is not a smile in it. they are not opposites, they enrich
each other.
when you laugh with a deep sadness, the laughter has a depth. and when your sadness
smiles, your sadness has an ecstasy to it. and life is not divided in compartments; life is adverse to
all compartments. it is your mind that creates air tight compartments. life is overflowing -- it does
not know the difference between birth and death; it does not know the difference between
blooming and fading; it does not know the difference between sunset and sunrise. it moves within
these two polarities. these are the two banks and the river goes on flowing just in between them.
don't be worried about the future. live this moment so totally that the next moment comes
out of it golden. it will take care of itself. that is what jesus says -- don't think of the morrow,
tomorrow will take care of itself. you need not be worried about it.
life is insecure, and if you can live in insecurity, that is the only security possible. the man
who can live in insecurity is happy because he is the only one who is secure, secure in the arms of
life itself. his security is not man-made; his security is that of tao, of the ultimate nature itself. life
takes care of you -- why are you so worried about taking care of yourself? why cut yourself off
from life? why uproot yourself from life life feeds you, life breathes in you, life lives in you. why
be so much concerned about yourself? a person who is too concerned about himself is a
householder; a person who is not concerned about himself is a sannyasin, one who says: life takes
care of me. this is what i mean by sannyas. it is not a renunciation of life, it is a renunciation of
the ego concern. it is not renouncing life, it is renouncing the worry, the concern, the too great an
identification, the too great a pushing of the river -- that is what it is renouncing. the river moves
by itself, you need not push. the river has brought you up to this moment, to this shore, and the
river will bring you up to many other shores. why be worried? birds are not worried, trees are not
worried. and man is the most conscious being, why should he worry? if the tao takes care of a
rock, if the tao takes care of a river, if the tao takes care of a tree, why do you doubt that life will
take care of you? you are the supreme most flowering of life at this moment. life is bound to take
care of you more than anything else. life is more concerned with you because more is at stake
with you -- you are a challenge. life is becoming conscious through you; life is becoming more
and more aware through you. you are reaching a peak -- life is trying to reach a peak through you.
so life will take care. to allow life and not to be concerned with your ego and yourself is
renunciation. to me it is sannyas.
my sannyas is totally different; it is not the old concept at all. the old concept was to leave
life, renounce life, the old concept was just the opposite of mine -- it was to be very concerned
with oneself, you had to take care of yourself, you had to care about meditation, your yoga, you
had to care about your sadhana, and you had to take care to see that you reached god before
anybody else did. my sannyas is just the opposite. i say that you need not worry -- you will reach,
but you will not reach through worrying. you need not even make an effort. be effortless. let your
whole life be a let-go and you will reach. life takes care. in your own hands you are in dangerous
hands; in tao's hands, you are in the hands of a mother -- the ultimate mother.
now listen to these words:
fishes are born in water, man is born in tao.
chuang tzu says that as fishes are born in water, so man is born in tao. the water takes care
of fishes, the tao takes care of you. you are fishes in tao, nature -- you can call it god. chuang tzu
never uses that word deliberately, knowingly, because it has been overloaded with so much
nonsense. he simply uses tao -- a more neutral word. the vedas use the word rit -- rit means tao,
nature. man is born in tao, that is why we cannot feel it. fishes cannot feel water, they know it too
deeply because they have been born in it. they have lived with it so much that there has never
been a separation. the fishes never know what water is. they move in it, they live in it, they die in
it, they come into it and disappear in it, but they don't know what water is.
it is said that once a young fish became very worried because she had heard so much about
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the ocean and she wanted to know what the ocean was. she went from one wise fish to another
wise fish. she searched for a master, a guru. there were many -- fishes have their own masters and
gurus. they said many things, because when you go to a guru even if he does not know, he has to
say something just to save his gurudom. they said many things about the ocean but the fish was
not satisfied because she wanted a taste of it.
one guru said: it is very far away and it is difficult to reach; only rarely does somebody
reach the ocean. don't be foolish. one has to prepare for it for millions of lives. it is not an
ordinary thing, it is a great task. first purify yourself and do these asanas -- one part of the eight
fold path of patanjali.
somebody was a buddhist, he said: this won't help. move on the path of buddha, the eight
disciplines of buddha will help -- first become purified absolutely, no impurity left, and then only
will you be allowed to see the ocean. then somebody else said: in the kaliyuga, this present age,
only the chanting of the name of ram will help. chant ram, ram, ram -- only by his grace one
reaches.
and the fish was always in the ocean. she searched and searched, consulted many scriptures,
consulted many doctrines, doctrinaires, doctors, visited many ashrams, but, reaching nowhere,
she got more and more frustrated. where was the ocean? it became an obsession. then one day she
met a fish, a very ordinary fish -- he must have been like chuang tzu, just ordinary. nobody ever
thought that this fish could be a guru, just living an ordinary fish-life. this fish said: don't be mad,
don't be foolish. you are already in the ocean. what you see all around is the ocean. it is not very
distant, it is near, that is why you cannot see it. because to see a thing a distance is needed; to
have a perspective, space is needed. it is so near you cannot see it; it is outside you, it is within
you, you are nothing but a wave in the ocean -- a part of it, a concentration of its energy.
but the seeker didn't believe. the seeker said: you seem to be going mad. i have visited
many masters and they all say it is very distant. first one has to purify, do yoga asanas, cultivate
discipline, character, morality, be religious, go through many rituals -- and then after millions of
lives it happens. and if one does reach the ocean, that too is through the grace of god.
but chuang tzu is true. the ocean is all around you. you are in it, you cannot be otherwise.
how can you live if god is not breathing in you? who is breathing in you? who moves into your
blood? who digests your food? who dreams distant dreams in you? who gives birth to poetry and
love? who beats in your heart with the beat of the unknown? who is the music in your life? how
can it be possible that god is distant if god is distant and far away, how can you be here? how can
you exist? it is not possible, because god is life and you are a crystallization of life itself.
you are god -- maybe miniatures, but you are gods. and i don't say that someday in the
future you will be like gods; i say here, this very moment, you are. whether you know or you
know not, it makes no difference -- you are gods. the otherwise is not possible. it may take
millions of lives to realise this but that was not because the distance was vast, but because you
behaved foolishly; it was not because you were impure, but because you were ignorant. no
discipline is needed except awareness -- just becoming aware of the near and the close, just
becoming aware of that which is already touching your skin, of that which is throbbing in the
heart, of that which is flowing in your blood stream -- just becoming aware of the close and the
near. and to come to the close you have to live in the moment, because if you are in the future you
have gone into the distance. then you are on a far off journey and god is here, you have already
left him behind.
says chuang tzu:
fishes are born in water, man is born in tao. if fishes, born in water, seek the deep shadow of
pond and pool, all their needs are satisfied.
needs -- yes; desires -- no. if a fish becomes a politician, no. but they are not so foolish as to
become politicians. fishes are not as foolish as man. they simply live, they enjoy, they eat, drink
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and are merry. they dance. they are so grateful for the littlest pond that has been given to them.
they delight in it. look at the fishes in a pond jumping, delighting, running hither and thither. it
seems there is no goal for them, no ambition, their needs are fulfilled. when they are tired, they
move into the shadow in pond and pool. they rest. when energy comes they move and dance and
float and swim; when they are tired again, they move into the shadow and rest. their life is a
rhythm between rest and action.
you have lost the rhythm. you act but there is no rest. you go to the shop but you never
come back home -- even if you come, the shop comes in your head. you never seek a shadow in
the pond, in the pool. that is all that meditation is -- to seek the pond, the shadow. that is all that
prayer is -- to move from activity into inactivity. that is all that religion is about.
action.... you have moved too much, you have lost the balance, now be inactive so the
balance is regained. be active, but don't forget that inactivity is needed as much as action. because
action is to move into the world, inactivity is to move inwards. it is just like the rhythm of
anything else. in the day you are awake, in the night you sleep. it is a rhythm. in the day you are
conscious, in the night you become unconscious. you eat and then you have to fast for a few
hours. again, hunger comes and you eat, then again you have to fast for a few hours. if you
simply go on eating you will go mad and if you simply go on fasting you will be dead. a rhythm
is needed. a rhythm of the opposites is the most secret key of life.
always remember the opposite. but the mind says: why the opposite? what is the need? why
be contradictory? if you can be awake then be awake. why go to sleep? there are a few scientists
who go on thinking that if they can save man from sleep then more life will be saved. they say: if
you are going to live for ninety years, thirty years will be lost in sleep this is too much of a waste.
scientists are more wise than tao -- too much of a waste, and your mind will also say: yes, if thirty
years can be saved, life will be much more enriched. but i tell you you will become just mad. if
your thirty years of sleep are lost you may be awake for ninety years, but you will be maniacs. the
world will be a nightmare. just think of a man who has not slept for ninety years. it will be
impossible to live with such a man because he will never relax, he will be tense and tense and
tense. the whole world will become a madhouse -- it is already!
a rhythm is needed -- you have to be awake and you have to move into sleep. and sleep is
not an opposite in life? it is opposite only in logic. because when you sleep deeply you become
capable of more activity and more awareness in the morning. if last night you slept beautifully,
deeply, you enjoyed it, you relaxed completely into it, you forgot yourself totally, then this
morning you will arise completely reborn, fresh, full of energy to move into action again. and if
you have been acting the whole day with tremendous energy, not luke warm, really active, then
you will have a better sleep again. action done totally brings relaxation; relaxation done totally
brings more action. life is enriched through the opposites. but logic believes that opposites never
meet. and because of logical thinking, the whole west has become imbalanced.
it always goes on cutting sleep out because it says you enjoy only when you are awake; in
sleep there is no enjoyment, so go on pushing your wakefulness deep into the night. so in the west
when they go to sleep, half the night has been passed in dancing, eating, meeting friends,
discussing, arguing, gossiping, clubs, hotels, theatres. as much as you can be awake, be awake,
and push wakefulness deep into the night. and they push it so much that when they go to bed,
they go always half-heartedly. because it seems that if it had been possible to be awake the whole
night they would have enjoyed more -- they could have visited one more theatre, had a few
dances more, met a few more friends; or they might have accumulated more money, gambled a
little more. always they go to bed half-heartedly and then they complain that there is insomnia --
they cannot sleep.
deep down you don't want to sleep.
i have never seen an insomniac who really wants to sleep. if he wants it, sleep will be there.
he does not want it. deep down he wants an active life, completely active, no rest. because
through rest you cannot earn money, that is the problem. through rest you cannot win elections,
through rest the shop will not become bigger, through rest what can you achieve? rest cannot
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fulfill ambition -- ambition needs action. desires need action; politics, money, everything needs
action. sleep is sheer wastage. if your mind is obsessed with desires you go half-heartedly to bed,
as if it is a compulsion -- and then you feel you cannot sleep. half hearted, you create resistance.
and because you have moved too much into desire, action, they continue in the mind. the body
wants to go to sleep, but the mind continues being active.
just the other day a man came and he said: when i meditate, thoughts continue. how to stop
them? so i told him how to. then he said: but i love thinking. then why try to stop it? and he said:
because of those thoughts i cannot go to sleep, and i cannot relax. but still i love thinking.
this is the problem. you love thinking because thinking can become instrumental in
achieving something: you can become a great thinker, or, through thinking, you can become a
great leader. through sleeping have you ever heard of anybody becoming a great leader? they all
condemn sleep, they all condemn laziness. they all condemn people who simply enjoy life and
are not too active -- they call them hobos or bums, vagabonds, and condemn them. but have you
ever observed the fact that the world has never suffered from any lazy man? because no lazy man
can become a hitler, no lazy man can become a nixon, no lazy man can become a mao, a ghengis
khan, a napoleon. no lazy man can become active. action has brought all the wars. action is the
most mischievious thing in the world. but still we go on saying that action is needed -- because
everybody is ambitious. if you drop ambition you will become lazy and active in proportion. then
your life will be a rhythm. you will move to this and then you will move to the other, and inside
you will balance yourself -- in the day active, in the night asleep. action and meditation should be
together. that is why i never suggest to anybody that they move to the himalayas and renounce the
world. because then they will be simply lazy and sleeping -- again imbalance. be in the world, but
when you come to your home, really come to your home; leave the office, leave it behind, and
don't carry the files in your head. when you are inactive, enjoy inactivity, and when you are
active, enjoy activity -- and let the body feel and move according to tao not according to your
mind.
if fishes born in water, seek the deep shadow of pond and pool, all their needs are satisfied.
if man, born in tao, sinks into the deep shadow of non-action to forget aggression and
concern, he lacks nothing, and his life is secure.
deep down within you are the roots. you are like a tree: half of the tree is open on the earth,
half of the tree is hidden deep in the earth, in the darkness of the earth. there are the roots. flowers
flower. you can see them, but they flower because of the roots which you cannot see. invisible are
the roots, visible are the flowers.
let your actions be your flowers, visible, but let your inaction be your roots, the invisible.
and keep a balance: the higher the tree goes in the sky, the deeper the roots have to reach. small
trees have small roots; big trees will have big roots. and it is always proportionate: if the tree goes
fifty feet high, the roots go fifty feet down. the same should be for you -- move into action, but
then move into inaction every day. make it a rhythm, a harmony.
if man, born in tao, sinks into the deep shadow of non-action to forget aggression and
concern, he lacks nothing, and his life is secure.
in inactivity you dissolve into the ocean, the fish becomes the ocean. in sleep who are you?
the ego is there no more, the fish has dissolved. in deep sleep, where are you? you don't occupy
any space, you have become one with existence. the same happens in deep meditation.
hindus have said that deep meditation is just like deep sleep with only one difference: you
are alert in meditation and not alert in sleep. in deep meditation, when you seek the cool shadow,
you are alert, inactive, but conscious. you know where you are moving. you know that the whole
being is settling. you know that it is as if a dead leaf falls from the tree, moves toward the earth,
floats a little in the wind, then by and by settles on the earth and falls into deep sleep.
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when you move towards meditation from the world of activity, you are falling like a dead
leaf or a feather of a bird. there will be a few shakings, waverings on the breeze, here and there
you will move, and by and by you go deeper until you settle on the earth. you have reached the
root and everything settles. then there is no worry, no thought, no world no you -- only that which
is, remains. that is tao. then enriched, rejuvenated, you come back to the world, and by and by it
becomes as easy as coming out of your house and going in. it becomes that easy. when you want
to, be active, but remember that this activity should follow your bodily need, not your mental
desire. become active when energy is flowing and you feel the energy has to be used -- because
energy needs action, energy delights in action. if you cannot do anything, at least dance. and
remember, energy needs action. if you suppress energy then you will become aggresive -- don't
suppress energy. this is one of the deepest problems for modern man. primitive man needed much
energy for his day-to-day life. going for a hunt needed much energy -- eight hours running in the
forest fighting with the animals, then by the end of the evening you might be able to get your
food, and that too was not certain -- much energy was needed for ordinary day to day affairs.
now everything is done by machines, technology has relieved you of much work. what to
do? you become aggressive, you fight, you get angry. without any reason or rhyme, you become
angry -- suddenly you flare up. everybody knows that this is foolish, even you in your cooler
moments know that that was foolish. but why did you flare up unnecessarily? the excuse was not
enough. the real reason is not that there was some situation; the real reason is you have so much
energy, so much petrol overflowing, inflammable, that any moment it can be active. that is why
after anger you feel relaxed, after anger you feel a little well-being coming to you.
for the modern man this is going to be so -- that is why i insist on active meditations, not
silent meditations. because your energy needs acting out, it needs catharsis. you have too much
energy with no action for the energy. and rich food is available and food creates more energy. it is
a fuel. this age is the most well-fed age in the whole of history. and there is no work. even if you
go to the office or the shop or somewhere else, the work is mental, not physical. mental work is
not enough.
man is physically a hunter. he needs much activity to be relaxed. so choose, but according
to your bodily needs. don't force the body, don't compel it; just feel the body and what it needs. if
it needs action then go for a run, go swimming, go for a long walk, or, if you cannot do anything,
dance. meditate and be active -- let the energy flow. you melt into existence through action. and
when the energy is gone and you relax, then be silent. find a cool spot in the pond and relax there.
action can lead you to tao; inaction can also lead you to tao.
.... because there is nothing else than tao. if you become aware through action you will also
meet him. action is pouring your energy into the tao, and in inaction tao pours energy back into
you. look... it is like this. this river flows into the ocean, pours itself into the ocean. this is action.
then the ocean becomes clouds, moves toward the himalayas, pours down in rains again, fills the
river. this is inaction. now the river is not doing anything -- now the ocean is doing something.
in action you give; in inaction you recieve -- and a balance is needed. and the more you
give, the more you will receive, because the emptier you are, the more you will be able to receive.
a small river will receive little, a big river will receive much. when the ganges pours herself into
the ocean, the ocean has to return the same ganges -- again and again it happens. in action you
share, you give, you overflow. be delighted. be happy. be dancing while you give. and then there
is inaction, and the tao pours into you.
and if you go dancing, the tao also comes dancing. god always comes to you the same way
you go to him. if when you sit silently you feel sad, it means that in action you were not happy.
you gave, but you gave grudgingly. if you gave really happily, then when you feel silent, and sit
silently, you will feel much bliss. but it will depend. and remember this... people come to me and
say: if we sit silently everything becomes sad and we feel very depressed. that shows that when
you are giving, you give grudgingly, you don't give whole-heartedly. god comes to you the same
way you go to him. and it cannot be otherwise. because god is just the returning -- if you reach
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him dancing, he reaches you dancing. if you are acting as if you are a martyr, if you go to the
office saying, 'it is because of duty. the wife and the children are there, and i have to, and i am
waiting just to get retired...' then god will come the same way to you. it will be a duty for him to
knock at your door.
he will say, 'i have to' -- then he will come crucified. but if you go dancing in your life, he
will come with a flute.
remember this -- god is a response. it is a resounding of your being. if you go to the hills
and you say something, the hills resound with it. the whole existence resounds in you. whatsoever
you do will be returned to you; this is the law of karma. it is not a question of details: you have
insulted somebody so the same man is going to insult you in some life. don't be foolish! don't be
silly!
*** end ***
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